Up 4 Discussion Presents...

What would Adam Lanza’s “real” Mother Say?

Join me on Up 4 Discussion as I voice my opinion on a touchy topic concerning parenthood as well as the considerable amounts of judgement blows that are being thrown at women (2 in particular) for their efforts (or lack of) to take care of a child with mental illness.



After all is said and done, let me know what you think about these situations and how the woman mentioned describes her son? How do you think Adam Lanza’s real mother would have described his childhood?

Until next time bloggers...

What would Adam Lanza’s “real” Mother Say?

So Cliche', But Christmas Is Here

Christmas is here and I'm feeling pretty damn good about myself. I've put in my part for charity, I actually got everyone in my family and "pending's" family a gift this year and I still have gas money left over for the rest of this week, LMAO!! My Scrooge mentality subsided once I realized I would be able to complete everything that I wanted to get done in this month. I also realized that broke people are the only ones always yelling, "money isn't everything" but the truth is it damn sure gets the job done when you do have it. The thing about that, too, is Scrooge had money. That bitch was just selfish, which I am not. I was only frustrated because all I wanted was to just be in a position where I would be able to give. And although everyone didn't receive extravagent diamond bracelets or expensive perfumes, they were all gifts that a lot of thought was put into because it was shit that each person actually needed. LOL!! Get's no better than that, huh?

Once these next 2 days have passed, I'll began prepping for my daughter's birthday. She will be turning 4 and yes, it's 5 days after tomorrow. No expensive party. I think we are just going to get together at the bowling alley since she likes to bowl. I'll see if I can find an Angry Birds birthday cake somewhere (yes she is an angry bird fanatic), some ice cream and call it a day. This is the one child that is really not that hard to please. I pray she keeps her humbling spirit. In the process of planning for her, I'm rummaging through thoughts for my son's up and coming. I've been back and forth with about 2 or 3 things, not sure yet which one I will decide to go with. But I got about 2 months to think about it and get my shit together. I think I'm burned out on trying to throw birthday parties. And maybe that's because my apartment space doesn't allow me to. I'm sure once I find my house, I will be back at being the number 1 kid's birthday party planner, lol!

On to other news... the Devil tried to play me yesterday. I guess I have been smiling too much and glowing and shit because I've found some holiday spirit. It's actually a funny story, not so much but kind of. I was pulling out of my mother's drive way and turned my steering wheel, of course, to make a left on to the street. Well as I turned, I heard a pop up under my car. My thoughts? "What the hell did I just run over? What did that damn dog bring into my mom's yard now?" I kept going a little ways and looked in my rearview only to see that something was rolling in the street. Well, it wasn't my wheel obviously. But the little people in my brain told me to stop, back up and check out the scene. Out of respect for my conscience, I did so, inspected and was on some "WTF?!" type shit. Fast forward. I take a picture of it (as you can see in the picture above) and sent it to my mechanic who is also my mom's wonderful boyfriend, who immediately called me back and said, "what the hell are you doing with that and where did you get it?" I explained and he then told me that this was a frame bushing. In other words, for those who are unfamiliar with cars, it's a big ass bolt that keeps the frame of your car together. I could just picture me on the highway driving and my car coming a part, losing pieces here and there as I'm driving, until there is no car left. That's where things got unfunny. But I wasn't on the highway, hell I didn't even make it to the end of the road. I could have, but my little people were talking pretty loud. I'm glad I listened. I had my son, my daughter and my neice with me. It could have been devastating. As I get out the car and showed my mom the part, she goes, "that's what you call driving 'til the wheels fall off" LMAO!! Well guess what Devil, I'm still smiling... and driving. It's Christmas!!

Until next time bloggers...

Have a wonderful, awesomely joyfilled Merry Christmas along with a safe and Happy New Year! Try something adventurous and orgasm at the strike of 12, LOL!! What a way to start a new year! Kisses!

Up 4 Discussion Presents...

The 3 C’s That Lead WOMEN to Double Back for SEX with Their Ex

Here's a good one for you! I like touching the untouchables. Those topics that people tend to avoid because of a fear that people will look at you like you have completely lost your mind. Ha Ha!! Everybody's doing it... say it ain't so.

Here on Up 4 Discussion, I give a few reasons as to how and why backtracking can be of great benefits. Why should you have to make life so complicated when sometimes what you need is right there in front of your face? Maybe this post will subside some of the "prude" flowing through your veins.

Enjoy my dear bloggers. Until next time...

The 3 C’s That Lead WOMEN to Double Back for SEX with Their Ex

Social Media And Your Relationship

My "girl's night out" usually consists of my homies and I chit-chatting during club hours, taking a bottle to the head, and whatever preference of smoke we would like to fill the air with, lol (I'm a cigar woman with the original additives, not the extra, just so you know) Anywho, we began to backtrack on relationship endeavors, past and present. Going over scenarios, how we handled them, and speculating the "what-ifs". There is always a few minutes of "man-bashing" time, but not so much anymore... I guess it comes with age. Within all of the girl chitter-chatter that night, it got me to thinking which lead me posting a question on Twitter, "Do you feel your significant other should acknowledge you on their FB page or any social site for that matter?" Because I found that in most of these situations, social media had a lot to do with everything that was being effected and NOT being effected. Ask me why? *shrugs* Although a little confused because I never thought much about how SM effected any relationship of mine, I did open my eyes to a response from the lovely and awesome writer, Petersburgh who blatantly gave it to me straight stating that, it's still a massive problem in both cases. Had a blonde moment and didn't quite catch on... but believe me, I am no blonde. So it didn't take long before I realized the point. Everyone feels some type of way about SM, so whether or not you are up there blasting every tit for tat bid that you and your boo did, you're damned if you shout it to the world (TMI) and you are damned if you don't (NEI, not enough info).

Now, when I did attend "FB meetings", I never counted on SM to portray some type of awesome image of what my life was like. I posted pictures of myself and those whom were near and dear to me. I believe that people read differently (of course) and normally for the most part, they take the picture posting as proving a point. MY point was these are the people I love. Didn't know I had to prove it. I wasn't trying to gain any cool points or show off the fact I felt that I had bragging rights. It's the internet! And most shit on the internet is always fun in addition to my long-distance friends and my family in DC who loved looking at pics of the kids and just swore up and down "pending" was the sexiest thing walking. LOL!! Which meant they liked looking at him, too. 2 years of FB and I got tired. I found that random people like to use this as a means to compare before's and after's. So if we disclude the fam portion of things and check in with the remaining audience, we have a green-eyed monster pool. We'll just call them slime.

I could say that "girl talk" is an easy influence. But we can't just single "girl talk" out. Honestly, any group conversation being had by a group of common-sense-having-individuals has some type of influence on the way you use to think, think now, or will think in the future. I'm not on FB, so I decided to go back and ask "pending" if he had any pictures of me on his FB page. He answered that he did. I wouldn't know. My snooping days after getting over my FB addiction subsided years ago. Of course he wanted to know where this random ass question came from. It really did just come out of nowhere. I didn't try to make this out to be one of those political discussions which I do (randomly) quite often with him. He then, in turn, asked me do I have pics of him on my blog. Somehow I tried to justify the non-posting, but I didn't see the difference in the 2. Even though I just simply asked to see what the answer would be, I'm not sure my appetite was fulfilled. I then thought to myself, "what does that mean?" Had he said no (just as I did), would I have felt some type of way? And even with him saying yes, what type of point am I trying to prove if any? I lost clear view for a second and came up with nothing. A bunch of pictures on a FB or a MySpace or a Twitter or a BlackPlanet (lol, yeah I took it back) or even a Blog doesn't PROVE anything. I was going to try to turn around and make this a justification as to how he loved me and things of that nature. LOL!! Pure bitch shit! But I couldn't do that either. If it ain't broke, don't try to fix it.

All in all, to sum things up, if you don't hold SM accountable for justifying your ways of living, then why stress it to the next person? I have witnessed where someone is continuously posting what they are doing every single second of the day with a picture along side of it. Is this what we call being productive? And exactly how productive are you if you have time to proclaim your self-worth? Seems like self-esteem issues to me. My home is just that, MY home. And Petersburgh was right, "I don't care for those things. My life doesn't have to be in social media. Y state I am taken. Who suppose to know knows" And without all the excessive picture uploading of how "pending" and I got caught on camera kissing the other night, or how the kids were everso angelicly playing and getting along at the park the other day, life is pretty damn good. SM doesn't build your relationship or your living standards. These things start right where you stand.


I had to do it! 1 for the team. Meet "Pending"

Until next time bloggers....

The Battle Continues...

What she really had to say...

Narrarator (her): The technicalities within the wiring
computed the notions stating, "til death do us part"

So within those limitations
I withstood grounds to make a life that kept us stationed at the heart
Or so I thought,

Outlets lead to inlets and things grow apart
But my stationary declares Mr. and Mrs., so what team were you to start?

Manifested destinies for settling in it's bliss
Congratulated kisses and lists of fam and friends to assist

Well, then the road thereafter...
approached a minor fender bender
Where your laughter mattered, my stacks had shattered
because the road you sot after led nowhere near a timeshare

Where this 2-way street merged in at the median,
you blitzed left and commence to focus on your own dreams again

Her: I thought this was a together-thing
let's do it for the team
or maybe this was just your thing, thinking I had my own thing...
and like ol'timers, "just bring what you can bring"

Him: I'll take what you got
cause it'll fit good in this slot
Sorry bae... not this go round... all positions have been filled
There's no room... you know how the boys are... maybe some other time... just chill...
Her: So my asking, requesting, begging and pleading deems me as needy
How womanly of me to want my family to proceed in the trendy
How dare I downgrade your 1 track mindful ways of thinking,
I'm just here for the ride, your trophy, batting eyelashes and winking

I'm a little confused as to how you planned for us to progress
'cause when you rest, I'm stressed and suiting up for the next quest
Is this an over-reaction or selfishness at it's best

I expect every miniscule detail that I have request
I deserve every gargantuan thought I project

Lingering behind scenes, dodging limelights that gleam
Am I really here or is my visual really not what it seems
cause in my peripheral, I see outsiders being let in
and my rearview show flashes of me bringing things to an end

I've been listed in every man's corner as the significant wifey type
laundry and cleaning along with the revealing as being some vixen's prototype,
common sense of great value, skills to listen and shed knowledge on your trife
uplifting with my insights and yet, my words still take flight

100 proof to your 8 percent taste testing
prepping kids for school and cooking while simultaneously sex-texting
Your ooh to your aahhs and still I'm collecting sublime messaging
Still a little confused as to where's my place setting

Narrarator (her): My I's had turned to We's
and while you're at it, add the additional "us" to the trust
and the "you" and "me's" without "them" felt like more than just pure lust

"I don't" turned to "I do's", you won't? ok... "I will's"
these things aren't done for just a bunch of cheap thrills

Her: I completed the list of shit you needed...
Narrarator (her): and to no avail, WE proceeded...
but without the necessary to be completed
dilapidated businesses and marketing depletion

Her: But somehow my love won't let me leave you...

it's becoming a little frustrating lingering here on 2nd base
impatience is setting in, so just state your case

maybe this is a joke, go ahead and place your bet
3 strikes and no homerun yet
no field goal or 3 point shot right up to the last sec

Forgive me if I'm wrong , but I thought we strived for the same trek
pulled off interns, collaborated studies and came up with the same specs
aced in honors chemistry from the first day that we met

I'm carrying loads your friends never knew exist
I'm a little taken back, maybe even a little pissed
never knew I had to wait in line, or keep my guards up in defense
this whole scenario is becoming a little whimsical and of false pretense

because where I believed this foundation held faith to be true...
in other settings, I'm finding I can't count on you
is this a double life, or do you really have no clue
I understand it takes time to seperate the two

does your growing up and adulthood consist of moving forward with them
'cause I can easily consolidate in my own creme de la creme
there should be no weapons form against the root to your stem
while I still make ways to concur sparkle to your gems

Narrarator (her): should we take a break, or continue making way for a chance
I admit it's a little redundant to be battling bromance

Trials Of A Mother: Mom vs. Dad

"There's a difference between under-rated and haven't made it" -Meek Mills

Once you have children, you find out that they hold so much weight over you. I live a life in "the quiet". I'm hardened. And unless you could actually exchange souls with me, you would never know the exact feelings that which I have learned to professionally keep in the calming abyss of my brain. Life is a struggle without the whining and bitching of someone else who has walked this Earth just as long as you have. But when you are stuck in the middle (somewhere) who is there to tell you which way to go? I would rather bypass advice from those who really can't understand what it's like to be in my shoes. Opinionated people can sometimes give off good talk game, but does that really help to solve your problem? I could only think of one person that could possibly be my cure-all, so I called out to my Grandmother (Lord rest her soul, 12 years and you would think the grieving process would have subsided by now) last night and she wasn't there to answer me back. At that moment of no response, I realized what makes me the weakest link... my kids. My hard rock turned to soft and the water flowed faster than the rivers. I was hurt. And I had no one to console me the way that I know only she could have done.

A Little Background Info
From the outside looking in... a quick explanation of how my son's father and I share him, you would think, "oh that's awesome!", "that's great that he does dot-dot-dot". But to be honest, I never cared for the extra help. Or maybe, it's that I never cared for him period. So I would rather have done without his presence from then until now. I believe this is the cycle of where I pay for my sins. Never in a million years did I believe that I would be able to birth my own kryptonite. I have to learn to become immune to the glow and sustain a state of submissivness for the sake of my child. I've found this man to be a vicious blood sucker which I knew from jumpstreet, AFTER my son was born (everyone else found out years later). Needless to say, I found out I was pregnant 2 months after completely ridding him of my life. I should have left it that way. I had never met a snake in person until I met him. But the moral of all of this begins with the quote that I stated above...

The Moral
Children hold strong to things that interest them. Memories that settle in and stick, even if it is for a split second. They believe that this is how life is suppose to be every single second there after. I agree. And if that was in any way, shape, form or fashionably possible, I would most definitely love to keep the line of tremendous pops of fireworks going every single day. Instead, a working mother loses sight of even being alive. You are only here to make things comfortable and enjoyable for your children, instill in them the mechanics of life and hope they take heed and prosper into the star you would like for them to be. In other words, you hustle your ass off every single day and hope that your kids don't show resentment towards your grind once they get older. They are too young to understand. This is what portrays an image of "difference" between whose head of household. Those who have time and those who don't. What they believe is good for them and what they don't. BUT if they don't know any difference between the two, then all they would know is what they were born into, you would think. I admit my work load can get the best of me. Maybe that is why when special events, birthdays or whatnot come around, I tend to overtly stress because I want it to be pure perfection. I have to choose the perfect gift. Things have to be perfectly in sync with whatever it is my son or daughter asks for. I've concocted miracles out of my ass, ears, nostrils... basically every hole in my body, and yet I remain the under-rated of the 2 parenting species. I'm judged for not buying a toy at the drop of a dime. I'm judged for letting a practice slip my mind. I'm judged for working. Judged for cooking, for parenting, disciplining, for paying bills...

Going In
I believe that if I had a source for freeloading that would take care of me and pay my bills, I could put in the excess time and effort to completely consume my life with my children and still have plenty time left over to piss off the other parent too. I can honestly say that I can teach my son how to be more of a man than his sperm donor with also stating the fact that I think I would feel some type of way (like not setting a good example) if I still lived with my mother and fed him off of her income. That's like saying it's ok to do this; you don't need a job or an education, you can live with me forever. I wonder what it would be like if the tables were to turn? The day that this freeloader would have to get a job and actually fend for himself. I wonder if my son's feelings for this person he deems as a Super Hero (technically for not having a life) would remain the same?

This is like one of those "Lifetime" movies. I never believed my life would play out where it's Mom vs. Dumb Ass. You hear stories of parents and their bribing kids with toys and gifts. But for some odd reason, I never thought that would be considered a legitimate practice. At least not on my playing field. The Devil is playing hardball. Situations such as this leave you in positions feeling as though your faith and humbling to the cause is not enough. I'm completely blown. And after you have done so much (you think) you're left drawn into a fetal position because there is nothing else that you can do. Your child already has everything coming from both ends (his ass and my heart). Nowadays, kids are blessed with everything they could imagine. And the parents are breaking their necks to make impossibilities somewhat possible, if not completely. I didn't have it like that growing up. And beginning from the time that I was able to make my own money, I have worked for every single thing that I have as well as my children. It's like I'm constantly trying to prove myself when really I know that I don't have to. This is not a competition. So why make it out to seem like it is one? At damn near 40, one should realize when it's time to stop being a bitch. Someone could easily think that science has naturally fucked up it's corse and made a ni66a bleed on a monthly basis. I don't need the extras of dealing with 2 periods in a month. I just want to look forward to lesser drama from the man-bitch and more gain of understanding with my son.

Until next time bloggers...

No Days Off

Soooo, yesterday I was going to shoot ya'll some hidden histories about Thanksgiving and even though I already know the story, I didn't feel like researching extra information #lazy Then I thought about saying some shit like, "Happy Thanksgiving" and put up a pretty picture of a turkey or something, but I didn't feel like doing that either. It just wasn't Sense So Common's style. All of this contemplating led me straight up to not writing a damn thing. I'm midway in to my 2nd year of writing on this blog and if you have been with me from the beginning of time, you would know that I'm not much of a "holiday spirit" so to speak. So I'm here (at work) on Black Friday (LMAO!!!.... yes I have to laugh about the crazies who spent the night in store parking lots last night) telling you guys about what happened to me yesterday and why my "holiday spirit" tends to roam.

I never make plans to cook because I'm always working. The question for the week when passing by strangers as you're walking through the stores or on the street is, "what you cooking for Turkey Day", "gotta a lot of goodies on your menu for Thursday?" I would like to look at them and tell them to "quit being so damn nosey", "even if I was cooking, it ain't like you eating any of the shit". OK, so I'm a little bitchy when it comes to the holidays too, lol. So I guess if you are one of those jolly ol' people who just loves to spark convos with random strangers, you might want to think twice about your choice of words. Maybe we should just stick with "Happy Holidays" and call it a year.

I spent the first part of my Thanksgiving working until 3 p.m. My work schedule would be fine being as though, that's usually about the time my family eats anyway. We used to start at 1 in the afternoon, but people have jobs and shit BECAUSE not everyone gets the holidays off (like me). I probably would be in more of a better mood if the owners I work for weren't so fucking cheap and incorporated time and a half on my paycheck for ALL of the holidays that I work. But, whatever, that's the point of searching for another job. (ok I'm rambling) I had errands out the ass to run. Not to mention that my son was with me yesterday (at work), which is a bit of a headache. I know the reasons, first hand, why you shouldn't be aloud to take your kids to work, lol! Sometimes, it can be convenient, but it can also be a hemorrhoid on your ass. Anywho, he kept me good company (I guess) since I really didn't have shit to do at work, I just had to be there. I found out that fast food resturaunts aren't open on Thanksgiving (now how come I didn't know that, LOL) but Golden Corral is a place for all of the lazy ass, non-cooking people to go and eat. We did lunch take-out there, I wrapped up the rest of my work day, and we were out.

In the meantime of all this commotion of non-Thanksgiving-commotion, I hoped and prayed that no one would call me on this holiday to come get them out of jail. I felt pretty good about chillaxing for the rest of my day being as though I was slightly fatigued from drinking with my besties from the night before. After eating, my main goal was to pop me a Corona to subside the queezy in my stomach (I think it's an alcoholic remedy or something, you kill hangovers with more alcohol *shrugs* it works, lol) After making my stops, I reached the family's house a little after 4 which was still great timing. Everyone had already eaten and it was time to get loaded with more alcohol. It seems as though my family's new hobby is jello shots LLS!!! And yes!! This shit is funnnn-nnnnyyyy! I sit down to eat, I get full, taste-test about 2 or 3 of these shots and pop my Corona. As soon as my top tapped the counter top, my phone rings. I know when work is calling because random numbers don't just call my phone. I started not to answer but being as though I knew this was "money" ringing my phone, I broke down and clicked the talk button. Let's just say the next 3 hours after that was spent wasting time on retarded people who didn't have a pin number to their own debit card (or so they say) smh, Yes! Exactly! I know what you're thinking. lol!

Overall, I enjoyed the bits and pieces of blessings received. I actually got a chance to stop by everyone's house whom were near and dear to me (only 3) But I usually don't get a chance to make visitations as such. Even though I missed my money because I was dealing with some real retards, I know there will be plenty more criminals cutting a fool around these holidays. So I'm not worried. The joys of "no days off", huh?

Well here's to you fellow bloggers, until next time... Happy Holidays!

A Gamer's Superbowl: Call of Duty Came Out Last Night

HA HA!! I'm quite sure every woman in this world who has a significant other is probably about to be mad all to pieces with me. I did the unthinkable, as I usually do for "pending's" birthday almost every year. Since Call of Duty always come out on or around his birthday and being that this is one of his most favoritest things in the whole-wide world, I went and pre-ordered the game (11/12) so that he would be able to pick it up as soon as it hit the stores which was 12 midnight. I called and told him that I got him the game and he was ecstatic. Think of the kids at Christmas... got the vision? Yea. Asking questions such as, "you bought it?", "it's already paid for?", "you sure you went and got it?" I admit, I have never pre-ordered any type of game. Even though I have purchased this game maybe 3 times since we have been together, it was always well after the commotion died down.

Soooooo, apparently (assuming all of you Call of Duty heads will know the excitement in what I'm about to explain) when you pre-order the game from GameStop, you get something call the Nuketown Double XP, 2025 bonus map and whatever the hell this XP shit is will be launched over the weekend, 16th through the 18th. You also get a season pass for 4 epic DLC map packs with $10 off some other shit they have going on. I have no idea what any of this shit is, thus explains my explanation of what is featured with this game. To be honest, I could be explaining it all wrong. The fun didn't stop there because as I was standing in line listening to the cashier rave about this game and how they had over 800 pre-orders for that night already, and they were expecting at least 1000 people to be at the store lining up at closing time (9 p.m) for the re-open at 12, I drifted off to the shelves behind him and noticed some other things that caught my attention...

They were headsets and I began thinking about the headsets "pending" already had. It reminded me of those favorite pair of tennis shoes a little kid has, refusing to throw them away and believing they have magic powers and makes him jump higher, LOL!! Yes, seriously! Anyway, I wanted to add something else so that the obvious gift (the game) wouldn't seem so obvious since it wasn't much of a surprise anyway knowing that I had already bought the game for his birthday (every year). So as I drift off to the shelves behind the cashier, I asked him about these headsets. Who knew that "Turtle Beach" was so popular? The cashier was awesome!! He explained everything with much excitement as if someone was purchasing these items for him. The store was packed and he still took his time with explaining to the gaming illiterate people (which would be me) how this shit works. These "Turtle Beaches" apparently allow you to hear the enemy footsteps coming up behind you, or the click of a weapon loading in the distance. You can hear yourself in the headset which eliminates the yelling at the TV (or seemingly, lol) These headsets contain 50 mm speakers (whatever the hell that means)and the sound is crystal-clear. Although I'm sure he would have loved the ones with the COD logo on it, I refused to pay 30 extra dollars for a friggin' name, so I got the less expensive ones. Note that these little headsets can actually rise up to a whopping $300 (which I did not pay). These gamers have lost their damn minds!!

My day was stretched, I had so many errands to run and someone to bail out. Not thinking that I made such great purchases, I was a little bummed at the fact that he didn't want to go to dinner with me (which was going to be my first initial gift). I wasn't suprised though, because I have always known that "pending" don't really like doing things that are way too fancy. He probably already noted that by the time I paid for dinner, I would have kicked out the same amount of money for the game. And that would have been correct. LOL!! I unloaded my car and walked to my bedroom where I found him watching TV. I slid him the bag and said "here, I got you something else". There was no "waaaiitt for itt, waaiiittt for it", moment. I just simply turned to disburse all household products (I also had to shop for during my errand venture) accordingly, only to turn around and bump into this 6'3 brick wall (him) behind me, smiling and explaining to me how much his kill rate is going to go up. He couldn't believe I got him the "turtle beaches" and he has to get him a nap before heading out to the store  tonight. Well he never got the nap and even without the game, he proceeded to hook the headsets up, LOL!! Looking back at me every so often to smile and say thank you.

Now, Call of Duty is known to be the breaker of all relationships. It is the homewrecking bitch that any woman would so happily be willingly and would never think twice about throwing out the window. It has even worked my nerves more times than 1 and I have seen the damage that it can do, LMAO!!! But I swear, the facial expressions and excitement in a grown man over something so simple (to me) is priceless. He stayed up until 3:30 a.m. playing this game and apparently him and his team has to "lock and load" this morning at or around 8ish. LMAO!! But I do want to thank "turtle beach" (THANK YOU) because I didn't hear any yelling last night or gun shots coming through the TV. I didn't wake up out of my sleep feeling like I was in the heart of a war, ducking and trying to bear-crawl out of my bed. Other than him fidgeting and moving here and there, I actually slept pretty good.

And now that I've gotten this birthday out of the way, it's time to prep Christmas for the kids. Too many big personalities and not enough space. I'm just going to pray about it, lol!

Until next time bloggers...

I Tried To Stay Out Of It

I feel like this is a modern day war between blacks and whites on whether or not slavery or segregation should still exist. I voted. Clearly, I'm sure you all know who I voted for. But it wasn't because he was black, it's because Romney is just fucking retarded. And Obama speaks moreso on a level of just having simple common sense. I feel he didn't have to say much in any debate because his past actions proved more than enough to keep his followers in line, you would think (my opinion). Maybe his effects only effected the people on the lower end of the totem poll (which includes me) and the others who felt there was a need for change felt the side effects. Sorry for digging into the pockets of those who could possibly feed half a state or more, but you can't spend money in Hell.

I went to the polls with a few specific people in mind: the president, the state of NC's insurance commissioner, Goodwin, the attorney general, Cooper, (who had no opposing team), and Representative G.K. Butterfield. I absolutely hate politics. I find the government to be extremely convoluted and very disorganized in the exacts of what these people truly stand for. I trust no one, them included. Maybe I'm a little brainwashed from reading about the particulars  in our history where some things just doesn't add up, The Redemption Manual, all these secrets, too many illuminati stories. Believing to have originally formed from roots of Christianity, I honestly don't see where God plays a part in how these people call themselves maintaining control over a country. Could I do any better? Hell no! But the difference between me and the next person who feel that they could is I wouldn't want the job anyway.

But that is not why I'm here today. I'm reading and I'm watching and all I see being discussed is a boundary of color. Who gives a fuck?! There is this guy I see every morning who stops by my desk and says "my president is still black", "some people gon' be mad today" or some other lame line about how his complexion is what "Rocked the Votes". Can we discuss my healthcare benefits please? Or how I need to begin a job search asap because the owners of this company are about to slit their wrist due to the fact they have to help someone other than themselves (*cough* assholes) I guess the thought of the word, help, is just flat out disgusting and could be very treacherous to their health pockets. Can we discuss how the owner of the Westgate Resorts, David Siegel, sent out a letter warning his employees what would happen if they voted for Obama? Let's also narrow this thing down to the fact that if it were left up to black people, alone, to try to keep one man in office, we wouldn't stand a chance which proves that it's NOT/WASN'T a color issue to begin with. But, clearly, we can't pinpoint which white people voted for what candidate. Since we are already stereotyping, let's just point out the mediocre white people. Yea, that would be sufficient enough for now.

I'm ready for the air to clear. Back to the norm we go. The rich will remain rich and the poor will remain poor. That's just the cards we were dealt. Color will always be an issue and if an owner of a company feels the little peons that work for him aren't worthy enough of a good living, then he don't have to provide them with shit if he doesn't want to. All that matters is they're good and they always will be, and if you don't like it, you can kick rocks and find another gig that will do better. Whose Democrat? Whose Republican? Well... I'm ME. And the history behind the donkey and the elephant gives me a friggin headache AGAIN. So the tables turned? Does that mean we should still support bullshit just because back in the day Republicans were anti-slavery? Democrats formed the KKK.... Nevermind...

I think I'm done for now, this has killed my coffee buzz. Off to my round 2 of a cup of joe.

Until next time bloggerss...

Diagnosis Random Craziness

There absolutely has to be a name for the type of person that I am, lol. You know... they got diagnosis of schizo's and bi-polar-ism. Just call me crazy, although I know there just has to be a more medical term for it. I am so random and half the shit I think about during the day could be able to not be thought about, lol. Did that make sense? Anyway, let's take a tour through the amusement park of Candi's Brain.

So I found out that even though I am simple and like simple shit, trying to plan a simple wedding is more stressful than planning an extravagant one. Wanting to be traditionally non-traditional is some bullshit... I can't commit to a color, can't commit to a dress, I can't commit to a place, time, or the number of guest that I MAY BE expecting to have. Get this... yes! here's the kicker!! I'm not engaged to be married. LMAO!!! Don't judge me. I'm working on it. At least things will be in place by the time it does happen... I think o_O And BTW, yes! I am back on my wedding fantasy roadtrip. Why? Because I'm about to turn 30. SMH

What kind of car do I LOOK like I SHOULD be driving and whether or not one day I will get over my fears of paying a car note... LMAO!!! Am I the only one? I mean think about it. Have you ever heard someone say, "you don't look like you should be driving that kind of car." And then proceed to tell you, "you look like you should be driving dot.dot.dot." I've never had a car note in my life. All my cars were paid for upfront with cash. Never drove anything straight off "the lot" and never had a car above a year 97. And I particularly don't care for a newer model car. I would actually prefer to go older, maybe back in the 60's. OG status!

I picture myself at this big birthday bash that I'm trying to plan for my 30th next year, however I can't commit to locking in the venue. I got my mind set on the spot, have already talked to the owner and made sure that my strippers will be able to make their asses clap without interruption. I could go ahead and pay my money now and have that particular headache out of the way and proceed with the other details for Day 1 and then began to work on Day 2 (yes it's a 2 day birthday party) BUT noooooooo, for some reason I don't trust myself with plans being set in stone. So I continue to think about it, play out the progress in my head and wait to the last minute to say, "maybe I don't want to have a birthday party."

My son is getting to a point where birthday parties aren't all that exciting. He's only 8 and he's into taking trips and shit. So I asked him what he wanted to do for his birthday next year, and he want's to ride in a limo. OMG!! LOL!! Of all things. So here I am looking for pimped out limo's. Where is the simplicity in that? My daughter will be 4, 5 days after Christmas. You would think that I would have this celebration thing down. However I have no tips to give any parent with a child born at or around Christmas. On top of that, New Year's Eve has always been "pending's" and my holiday to get buckwild with not a care in the world. So it seems to me that I have a lot on my plate and we haven't even made it to Christmas.

Although most of my family and my closest friends know that I'm bi, I wonder how those that don't will react at my birthday party when they see me engulfing the visuals roaming in their half nakedness or if there will ever be a particular woman that will make their way to being closer than just a sidepiece for me and "pending" to play with in our past times? I guess you can say this may be somewhat of a "coming out" party, LOL!! I wonder if people think that I am really crazy, or just completely lost my mind and clear sight? I've had people ask me, "how the hell do you do that", "is that even possible", "I could never trust another bitch with my man"... is it sad that I don't have an answer for any of those questions? It just seems to fall in place that way. Maybe I'll blog about it one day. As soon as I figure out how it all works.

I figured out that I'm prolonging this home buying thing because I want my ultimate dream house. Something that someone can only dream about (LOL) I have no idea how I'm going to overcome this set-back. I'm on to a new project of starting my own business with a couple business plans in mind at that. LMAO!! Trying to figure out how I'm going to weigh these options.

* I want brand new furniture throughout my entire house.

* I want a new job.

* My car has to be inspected before this month is out.

* My son wants to go to the skatepark every single day.

* I have to buy rubberbands to do my daughters hair.

* I need to wash clothes

* I need to start my Christmas shopping ASAP.

* I need to post another friggin' post on my blog.

Then this is where I end up, and these are just the things I thought about on the way to work. Imagine what the rest of my day is like.

Until next time bloggers...

Bloggers Have Groupies?

I did a post a while back called Bougie Bloggers where I expressed how I felt about coming into the blogging business pretty much in the dark, but willing to get my feet wet and to except the experience head on. A little on edge because I wasn't getting as much feedback as I had hoped for; not only here in my own lil' dojo, but while commenting on other sites, as well. I think big. I don't think out the wait process or how I'm going to bear-slide before I learn to crawl through these field of words. I dreamed about an instant come-up, the overnight sensation. Hey, I'm a dreamer. What can I say? LOL! Anywho, my point is, on this quest I have found that there are a such thing as Blogger Groupies (as if bougie bloggers aren't enough) So now I feel the need to express how I feel about the usage of "likes" and "dislike" buttons along with "replies" to comments in random forums.

But first, let me bring you up to date on how I came up with this subject. I came across a post in my blogroll the other day. (I read post according to my interests in the title, but I eventually read them all either way) This particular title had caught my attention and I clicked away. I read it and, of course, I hated it. Just as I suspected. Now... a great writer will voice their opinion on a subject matter and know exactly what to expect from the particular audience they cater to (my opinion). So... given this information, sure that the blogger already knows of what arguements may lie ahead, they should be able to respond with sympathy and automatically be able to empathize with all 3 sides to whatever subject was brought to the table. Yes. 3. We are bloggers. It's all about opinions, being able to relate to the opposing team just as much as their own. And clearly what should be the strong suit, striking conversations. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I get that. And moreso entitled to the conversation that they choose to strike. We could also take it back to the bougie-ness and talk about how particular comments are bypassed for the mere fact it's not what they were expecting. BUT, we already did that.

NOW... let's get to the groupies *insert horror movie scream here*. Why must the audience that which are die-hard fans agree with everything that is being said, especially if you are the target of the conversation? And why is it that, when I voice my OPINION on the subject matter, I get thumb downed, disliked, -1'd, all because I didn't agree with their precious blogger? Excuse me for having my own voice. But if I don't agree, then dammit I don't agree. Regardless if we are speaking of a high profile blog or whether it's in the Hall of Fame for whatever reason, or even if it has a whopping couple thousand subscribers, it doesn't mean that everything the blogger write about should be agreed upon. It's how they feel about a topic (which is fine). But the point of the comments section is for the READER to voice their feelings about it. So why am I inclined to agree? I could choose to comment on just the perks I got out of a post (if any), but what justice does that do me if I don't agree with the subject matter within the post as an entirety? So, now you mean to tell me that blogger courtesy consists of if you can't say anything nice, you shouldn't say anything at all? Well I didn't curse (can you believe it), or maybe it was me using the word Negro rather than ni66a, lol!

Not that I really care, but the birds began to attack! Is it safe to call this cyber blog-bullying? And let me also inform you that this has happened on far more than 1 or 2 occassions. For instance, true story: I commented on a blog post, actually received a reply back from the blogger (a good reply about my reference of choice) and then a reply from the "bird" who felt that what I had to say was irrelevant and I was being rude towards the blogger's point. Are we really playing this game here? My comment back to her wasn't a good one but it was said in a very sophisticated manner (which actually shocked me, so I can just imagine how she felt). Ending with me being thumb downed, lol! I didn't take KissAss101, and not all bloggers write about things that we care to read about or that we necessarily agree with. Not all commenters are going to reply in a manner that everyone would like to see, but that's what builds the conversation. I'm cool with all of this, while most other bloggers would have to be cool with it too if they choose to keep blogging. Blogging isn't for someone to come in the game feeling like they are always going to be right. But I'm starting to feel like it's the groupies who can't handle a decent conversation in a simple forum to discuss one topic at hand. All because they feel some type of way about the writer.

I don't mean to bash anyone's favorite blogger. Definitely NOT a hater. I enjoy good reads just as much as I enjoy writing. And let me also state, I didn't say any names so that I or no one else will feel like I'm slandering a blog or the commenters of any particular site. I do have quite a few blogs that I frequent and the lack of luster in one particular post never curves my appetite for the blog as a whole. I may leave a comment here or there, maybe I will post the link on my Twitter (if I enjoyed it), or maybe I'll just click the "like" button and keep it moving. It just seems that these little gnats are everywhere. No matter how much you try to "shoo" them away from an unnecessary disruption of servitude to the comments section, someone feels the need to voice their opinion on YOUR thought process. Which, let me remind you, has absolutely NOTHING to do with the topic. If I wasn't referencing YOU or YOUR comment, then why are you so mad? It's not in the rule book (that I have seen) that says everyone must agree.

Until next time bloggers...

Up 4 Discussion Presents...

5 Things EVERYONE Should Know BEFORE Having Kids

It must be my birthday!!! LOL!! I am all over the place this morning!!! From Spoken Words & Thoughts to Up 4 Discussion. And once again, I am so honored. You see, I told you guys I've been busy....

Sometimes we all just need that extra push and luckily I have an awesome Blogger Boss who knows just how to push me. J decided to give us all a few topics to pick and choose from and I chose a few but I couldn't let this one keep lingering in my email without diving in head first. Yes!! 5 things EVERYONE should know BEFORE having kids It has a ring to it, don't you think?!

If you really want to know what to look forward to, then I'm here to give it to you. No cut cards, straight no chaser. I'm sorry my lovelies, but what type of friend would I be if I didn't give you the whole truth and nothing but the truth?

I hope you all enjoy. Be sure to let me know what you think. Those of you who want kids in the future, let me know how you feel childbirth after reading this. And those of you that have kids now, has your experience been as joyful as mine? Whatever you do, just be sure to always, always, always check out the rest of the Up 4 Discussion family. We have such an eclectic taste in diversity.

Until next time bloggers...

Spoken Words & Thoughts Presents...

well... ME, of course!!

Hey you guys, just when you are getting good at thinking I'm M.I.A. and got issues I need to deal with 1 on 1, I fooled you! HA HA HA!!! I've been busy. Just not here.

Sooooo... my ultimately scrumptuous-best-blogger-friend has featured me on "Ask A Blogger", where I answered 5 questions that she asked to get a better feel of who I am. Well you all know I'm a little crazy, but I have to say it was really fun and it definitely made me think.

So what YOU need to do now is click on this link ~> (Spoken Words and Thoughts) and go find out about ME, as well as some other awesome bloggers that she has interviewed. Not only that, because the fun never stops, she has other stuff for you to read too :O LOL!!! Who would have thunk it?!!

And there you have it, until next time bloggers.... HIT IT SUNNY!!

Ideas, Ideas, &... More Ideas

I hate leaving you guys out of the loop of things. I miss my creative juices flowing. Random thoughts just popping up in my head or random people doing dumb shit with the most ultimate lack of common sense and then Sense So Common giving it to them straight. Time flies when you are NOT having fun. Oh the irony, lol! But there has been so many changes taking place in my portion of the hemisphere that I'm not even sure how to place them in order. And let me tell you that I go crazy over a lack of organization. So I have to take things one day at a time, as do us all.

I still have plans on looking for a house, but the original master plan is just taking a little longer than I anticipated. You can set up an outline of events within a time frame, however, things (of course) don't always go your way. In the meantime, I am still blessed. It's not like I'm homeless. I just have to get other things in order before God benefits me with requests that I have asked of him. Simple, huh?

And in the meantime, Christmas is coming up (uugghhh that's another blog post) and I am currently planning for 3 birthday parties. My daughter, my son and then myself. I'm being a little on the selfish side next year for the big 3-0. This will be my first grown up party ever (since I was 13) and I will be sure to make it a worldwide event and post pictures here at Sense So Common so that my followers can take a trip with me and partially experience how good it feels to be able to celebrate another year.

I can't recall if I announced it here, but if you follow me on Twitter, you may have seen a mention a while back of me letting the world know that I am, now, a bail bondsman. So if you are in the state of NC and you end up downtown in someone's cell for any reason, don't hesitate to shoot me an email or give me a call (if you have the number, which I doubt LOL, but I do receive all emails to my cell). I'm finding out that it is rather hard to make yourself known when you are as lowkey of a person as I am. But never fret! I'm not worried. My clientelle will build with time. Everything takes patience, prayer and hard work.

A new plan venture is coming soon. I am trying to become a "Self Made" entrepreneur. This is what I did today after clocking in to the original "slave ship". I guess I will be going home and pulling out the pen and pad to jot down some notes and line some things up. I'm looking forward to a even more prosperous 2013. I am amazed at my 2012-self. I did get in to the "know how" of a lot of things and achieved a few of my goals. I can't complain. My family and friends are in good health, and with that being said, life is great. But we all feel the need to be doing something that we love. And the papers that I am pushing at my desk aren't filled with glitter, flowers and rainbows. I'm bored and I need to be stimulated... in a productive way, not the way you may be thinking, lol. But if I am going to work this hard for a little or nothing, I might as well benefit myself with my awesome resume and capabilities. How about that?!

Anywho, I miss you guys. And I am sorry that I have been drenched with the writer's block epidemic once again. My brain noodles are a little overcooked. But I do have plenty of pieces in my drafts for here as well as Up 4 Discussion (if you have been following me over there as well). I don't release bullshit. So no matter what I am doing (with even the smallest of things like putting on underwear), I have to give a 110%.  That's just me, no specifics, just common sense.

Until next time bloggers...

Up 4 Discussion Presents...

Would You Want Me If I Worked At Burger King

I seriously doubt it, but I just wanted to see what you were going to say. Just imagine having those juicy charcoiled burgers brought home for dinner every night. Them apple pies and the hershey pie. Um Um Good!! LOL!!!

It's all about making the best of everything you already have, not dwelling on what we don't. The man working at Burger King could be just as suave as the CEO sitting on some empire. Either way you weigh them on the balance beams, nothing compares to being treated how one deserves to be treated. Burger King or not, I'll be all over my date like he's a star, lol!! What would you do?



How can you resist this offer?

 Hit up Up 4 Discussion to let me know.

Until next time bloggers...

Deeper Than Intimacy

LIFE


If the tea kettle fits, wear it.

Life is strange in so many ways. Yet it intrigues me to see the responses given off from the natural energy waves that seem to throttle throughout the different land elevations. I absolutely know exactly when I am in the wrong and I also know what paths to take to get to where I need to be. Hah! What a treat to know exactly what there is to come with having great common sense. I grow up, I digress, I excel, I fail, and I start all over again only to look back and see that I am exactly where I want and need to be. God always has a plan. Who would have thunk it? Side eye glances and stink faces towards those that started the "eye war" first... and then I laugh. Because unlike them, I know what I am doing and am very freewilled at revealing my faults. That is, only if I want to. But, honestly, I like to play dumb. The reactions are so far-fetchingly funny and people will talk until they are blue in the face and will rather die from asphyxiation before they shut up. This is not to make any excuses for actions that are seemingly done with a lack of common sense. It's only to let you know that I see that you see me, and I like my performance just as much as you do. Like I'm really going to reveal the entire story. Here is where the rebellion sets in. I strive to make no one happy but my babies which means that any other thing considered to be "out of their the norm" that just so happens to be sickening to my audience, I'm probably going to continue to do just that. Only because I get a kick out of the false images people try to portray for everyone else. You can't tell me how to live my life if yours is constantly up in some fuckery. Pardon me for handing you your ass, lol.


RELATIONSHIPS AND LOVE


What are you running from?

Hell rasied arguements arise and I get arousal from not only the energy I draw up within myself, but the energy that I can pull from my opponent. What is this? We call it a fight, maybe even war. A brawl. A heated conversation about disappointments or a lack of effort, maybe? Love? Is this how we love one another? Consorting images that fit the projector screen of our imaginations. We want comfortability. A go-to. We need to know that there is someone out there (other than family, because they have no choice or maybe they do) that is not forced into standing in one location. In front of me. It's unconditional and no matter what he/she or I say, I can count on a permanent presence in my atmosphere. I'm not forcing someone to be here and I am being counted on in return. Careful steps to building something we want to be prosperous and worthwhile. Battling for something so unknown. You think you got it but you're still not so sure. Because you feel something, but everytime you feel some thing, it feels even more different than the time before, or that other time when... dot-dot-dot, or the last time when I thought... dot-dot-dot.... because... dot-dot-dot. But this time feels different or is it every time that feels different? Now I'm confused. But you stick with what you know and what you know is this energy (wherever it derives from)... it feels too damn good. I'm crazy! You're crazy! Everyone is crazy! How much or how long does it take for you to get to this classification? Because in this mixed up world with what is normal and what is not, what is justified and what is just flat out fucked up... nothing compares to when the calming sets in after the storm. The still. The fresh. The little particles of mist that decided to stay behind. I'm addicted to the crazy, this crazy... what do they call it? I think they call it love? Or maybe, just crazy. So I guess you are right... I have lost my everlasting mind LOL!!! Tell me something I don't know.

LUST

An urge so easily flaring up one's actions, emotions and/or every fear. An energy that made up for every whip, winding, loop and  curve. Damn! I want you. I love the way you chew your food... it makes me wanna... And I like the way you walk to your car... I just picture... Because when you do that little thing with your... you know... that thing you do in the mirror before we leave out (chuckles)... I would rather stay in. Because what I envision and the way I envision it, is something special to me.Personal and somewhat embaressing. A bit intensified and passionate. Because I find myself staring. I think I want to do things at the most inappropriate moment, in the most inappropriate way only because double negatives attract in some type of odd fashion. I like you dressed in your vulnerable. And I think about this more often than the average. Addicted, maybe? Not necessarily. But just the other day, when we were sitting trying to be adults, talking about bills and life and such, I only saw your fingertips caressing the total amount for my last months charges. Overdue. And when you mentioned that we were out of bread, I only recall you fitting between the middle of my last two slices. Then there was... some time ago when you yelled across the room, "I'm so sick and tired of fighting!!" and then something to the effect of being sarcastic...but it sounded more like, blah-blah-blah, because all I really heard was the moans and tussleing from us fighting in the bedroom or maybe right there in the kitchen, it was. A UFC match, locked up and intertwined in hell's bliss. Yoked up against the wall, helpless to being raped with ever so passionate thrusts where I fall victim to the lust that leaves me with this natural high of euphoria. And now I only want more. I need another fix so let's argue again until we've settled the score.

Until next time bloggers...

Life Goes On

The excitement dies and the comforting, but yet aggonizing "Congrats" still come at you like yesterday never happened. So what do you do? Do you smile and say "thank you" and just keep walking or do you turn around and look them dead in their faces as if they are stupider than the stupidest of them all. Don't you see I don't have a belly anymore? Guess they won't know unless you tell them. Realizing that there is something rather different about you, but naaahhhh, that can't be right. Must be a pregnancy thing. But the point is, if they were never so busy meddling in your business, that little piece of time frame would have never been so awkward. So when you congratulate me (now)... are you congratulating me on my successful pregnancy or are congratulating me on my successful miscarriage? You didn't even ask if I was carrying and I never, personally told you that I was carrying but yet you can ask me when do I find out if it is a boy or a girl. Really?! #getthefuckouttahere!!

So I can be stubborn, bitter, and downright bitchy. But if I felt the need to keep everyone aligned for my every breaking newsflash, then I would and if I don't, then that means DON'T give me your comments, questions or concerns. Why don't people get it? I'm not here to except pity, apologies, or sad faces. I'm only here to vent and half the time viewers/readers seem to miss the real points of my writing either way, but it's pointless to vent about that because I'm quite sure that once this word gets out, the expected is what I will be hearing over the next couple weeks or so. One thing I can say is, when something is unexpectedly taken away from you, whether it's been a day, a month or 10 weeks; your life seems to fall into a whole new game-level. Just a minute ago, I was coming up with names to continue my line of uniqueness and regality along with Superior (my son) and Blessing (my daughter). Just a minute ago, I was back in "mommy mode" thinking about what it would feel like to hold such a small human being again. Wondering if this will be another 4 pounder? Maybe smaller. Or will this one kick ass and reach a whopping 5? lol! The comforting smell of Johnson & Johnson baby powder and lotions. The excitement of everything new. The adrenaline rush that comes with being a "high risk" factor and still being able to conquer such miracles in the time of dier needs, literally. New editions and introductions. This is ......, your new brother, your new sister, your new grandchild, neice, nephew.... MY new son... MY new daughter... Welcome home?

I fight back the tears and become overwhelmed with mixed emotions. What am I crying for? We hadn't even gotten to the stages of movement, so what is there to miss? I knew he/she was in there. Am I saddened because I feel inadequate as a woman that I couldn't carry another baby? Or do I feel the embarassment from sharing with the world that I was on my way to building yet a new empire and failed? When you're in the moment of your "glow", expectancy becomes a responsibility for everyone else's fascination with pregnant women... the aftermath of miscarrying is when you realize that you just lost your job. You were fired without warning or reasoning, and you are left with continuing on with your life as if nothing ever happened. So what about the little tiny heartbeat that I saw beating so rapidly? It doesn't matter because people don't miss what they've never had; along with responses to the effect of it may have been for the better or it wasn't in God's plans. It was only implanted in me and my memory for reference. I didn't uphold my end of the bargain and therefore life goes on...

Until next time bloggers...

What Miracles Bring

My hormones are raging and I'm so chemically imbalanced that this could and probably should be a new case study for specialists. So I figured I would just knock you guys up for a split second so we can all share these lovely feelings together. I'll be your dam tour guide for fatness, food and funk in your first trimester.

First let's start off with extreme-ness... and I do mean everything! irritates the hell out of me. Here is where patience becomes a virtue and you began to understand how much of it you really have, only because you start losing it over the simplest of things. I'll give you an example; Me and IHOP was about to fight one night because they forgot about my pancakes (speaking of which, I would really love some right now) and they didn't realize substitutions are a no-go. For some reason, people think that when you ask for Sprite and they don't have it, they can simply substitute Sierra Mist as if I won't notice. Really?! Why, why, why would you do that? Just simply tell me you have Pepsi products and not Coke products, or vice versa so that I can choose accordingly; because when dealing with something that you originally never had your preggo-mind set on, it's like 20 times worst. I almost spit that substitution in the waiters face. Self control is not heard of when dealing with preggo taste buds... we taste every friggin thing, which means it's 10 times better or 20 times worst than ever before. When it comes to food, pregnant women instantly pick up these scavenger characteristics. They're on a man food-hunt for the best tasting food out there or either the food that will subside whatever cravings we have been having for so long. If a woman is able to subdue a craving, OMG, it's like a food-gasm *sigh* But always remember that no matter what, all requests must be honored..

I hate to gross people out not really but I'm about to shed a whole new light on this beautiful miracle that everyone think is so awesome. You know how you see those medicine commercials and then they shoot that line at the very end really fast about the side effects. Yeah, let's get to the fine print. I would absolutely love to be able to take a shit without having to practice a breathing technique. Yeah, I guess lamaze comes in handy for more than just helping to deliver a baby. Constipation starts from the very beginning and if you think that is something disgusting... Hell, we are just getting started! A fart can be deadly, literally. Preggo asses no longer have the muscles to lock and clinch tight when trying to hold one in, in public. I also highly suggest that you run for cover (yes from yourself and especially those in the line of fire) or invest in a gas mask. And this is only the first couple of weeks, or months. Trust me, everything gets worst with time.

Next, let's try talking about how it feels like someone titty punched you all day, everyday. Yes! painful for no friggin' reason whatsoever. And the swelling?! Your aeriolas can get so big that your tit will look like you have a bunch of nipples. So I'm exaggerating a little... lol! A preggo woman's mindframe is exaggerated, but not intentionally. But honestly, them jugs usually gain more weight than what's in your uterus. No exaggeration here. This part will really make women enjoy being apart of the itty bitty titty committee. I would love to be pregnant with no boobs, lol. Life would be so much easier.

Your hair grows 10 times faster than ever before. Good thing for what's on your head, bad thing for everywhere else. Your shaving routine is no longer at a decent pace of every 5 days to a week. Now you are shaving every 2 to 3 days, maybe everyday. And let's not fail to mention those that like to go brazilian (like me). Ok... let's try with an example. Take a basketball and hold it at your waste/tuck it in your shirt for a better effect. Now... hop in the shower and try to bend over (with baketball in tact) to mow your lawn. Are you out of breathe? Did you catch a cramp in one of your obliques? Feel like you need to throw up? Yep! We have, now, achieved the fat person's shaving routine. We will need to practice this daily, so get use to feeling like you're continuously putting yourself into the full nelson.

Walk from your living room to the bedroom and it should feel like you just ran a marathon. Everything makes you gag/dry heave including just talking about something gross. There is no such thing as resting or taking a nap, you just simply pass out chocolate wasted style. *shaking head* So unladylike. Pissing is a never ending task and the beginner stages of pregnancy can have you looking like you have been bingeing on beers for the past couple months. People are going to continuously stare trying to figure out if that is really a beer belly or should they ask when are you due. And once you tell them, they are all in shock like they are just so use to you simply being fat. Sexting now consist of what's on the menu for the 2 of you to eat together. Example...

Me: ummm bae, you know what I would love to get a taste of?

Him: what's that? :D (smiley face of excitement attached like I'm referring to him)

Me: I would love some of those shrimp scampi frittas from Olive Garden and an order of lobster cannelloni with shrimp and a side of chicken and gnocchi soup. Um bae, doesn't that sound good?

Him: oh... call in the order, I'll be there in a few

Yeah, this post is nothing like real life and I still kept it professional. lol. On to round two.

Until next time bloggers...

Another "Really?!" Moment

I know! I know! I have been M.I.A. and it's all for good reason... I think. Today I felt I was ready to share some of the shit that has been boggling my mind since my new findings that which you can learn more about here. Since that topic was already discussed over there, let's discuss, here, how my life decisions seem to effect everybody else. That leaves us with yet another "really?!" moment.

Let's be clear that I am not the one to keep secrets. Most of you already know that. I am an open book and would probably be a best-seller if I actually sit my ass down and put the work in like I should. But you see, regardless of whatever achievements, goals you may have reached, or anything considered to be accomplished, there is always someone somewhere close by that has a Ph.D. in passing judgement. People have been confused as to why I have completely shut down from the outside world, the inside world, etc... They expect me to automatically tell what's the new haps in my life, or voice my opinion on a situation that probably has absolutely nothing to do with me or my situation. Most of the time, I don't mind. I mean, I do have a blog that kinda-sorta captures my life experiences. I love giving my side-of-the-stories and voicing my non-judgemental viewpoints on certain situations. I believe everyone should channel their visuals in the same manor because I'm just awesome like that. I don't pretend to make out like I am the perfect person because I'm not exactly sure what perfect means. But what I do know is, if I don't decide to open my mouth about a certain situation, it's probably because it's none of your fucking business. Simply put. How else can I say it? I think that was nice enough and frankly, I don't give a fuck how anyone feels about it. Oops pardon my manors o_O

The day of my judgement has not yet arrived. And I am quite sure that once my time is here, it will be handled between my God and myself in private; because guess why? He doesn't care what you have to say or think and neither do I. Surprise!! lol! It seems that the older I get, the more I shun myself away from what I consider to be pure ignorance. Before you know it, I will be alone with a dog for a companion (since I hate cats) and I'm completely satisfied with that. You see, the last thing I need, want in my life and have never requested is another person asking me a question about what is going on with me only to relay it through the grapevines or to turn up their noses as if they are smelling their own ass... because if you ask me, whomever it is that we may be referencing just has to be full of shit.

I believe that people are nosey and make it their business to pass judgement on others because they have no real business of their own. And if  they do have any type of business, they need to find somewhere/someone else to point a finger at so that they don't have to point a finger at themselves. Maybe they are feeling inadequate and think that if they judge someone else, they won't feel as bad about whatever bullshit they laid in. It's so funny how people concern themselves with everything that isn't theirs or don't belong to them. It's funny how people get mad because I don't give a fuck about their thoughts on MY matters. I laugh in the face of these practicing imitators who try to justify reasonings for my existance, or the next persons. Who are you people?! Nevermind, scratch that because I honestly don't give a fuck. Oops, did it again, lol!

Really?!

Some days, you just have to stop in your tracks and ask, "really?!" Can some people really be that complicated? Or bored? Or lifeless? Who knows... who cares... I just felt like venting today.

Until next time bloggers... maybe the next post will contain a little more talent, lol!

Left At The Altar

I had the visual.
no solid blueprint to prim the land... because,
the thought... alone. was a little too deep. a little too sensual.
more than what You were capable,
the foundation. a little too firm. and the project. a little too extensive.
so I guess I'll suck it up and flex my flexibilities on time and dates... and push for extensions,

it's pointless to keep the visual when the reality is... DE.NIED ASCENSION

(laughing) you get to feel the joy with... my pain
and then you claim... and... I blame... and wherever your love-muscle desires to aim.
I hate to face the fact that you can't make me happy in this frame

I've role-played and pretended,
grammy-award winning housewife and freak... I got it... I comprehended...
whatever the weather calls for...
committed. to so many roles... "who... was. I. suppose to be? again..."
behind-the-scene
stunt doubles and dummies, props and whatnots
when in actuality, the main role was "puppet"...
and you were the strings consorting my frolic

but yet... hydrangeas and rose petals dance on some pretty stem
and... calla lillies all bunched together
while...
solid color patterns flex under some temple's trim
while... scenic backdrops click quick pics through this kaleidoscope plated in my head
and once I let down my hands...
the plans...

I can't force the dream on life's palate
and You can't come to terms with what goes good with a salad
like...
the chapters are so far spred
and...
the climax never reached the bed

and...
a force field of confusion led to... some epidemic... they say...
a widespread of bull's shit... from what I hear they call it...
and...
the honest truth of... maybe you're really suppose to get fucked this-a-way

and...
if we interpret the history of the equation,
everything add's up to get-the-fuck-a-waytions...
from...
the haunting and taunting of  lover quarrel invasions,
past divisions between... what's equality... and what's... not... really...
trying to square root a problem already solved...
cause your gut says that:  if you multiply what's in the parentheses... first...?
but the book says the answer's only reveal the ODD...


in the back...
a devotion of times, tables and shackling sheets...
mixed towels with my wash cloths and how this utility bill is so unique.

squandering through the thicket of love's bliss.
ultimately aware of the way to a shower stall...
to cleanse the mind of... turbulance
and... the abundance of fatalities in these false fantasies...
holding on to something that never held back...
I don't think there is rehab for this type of crack...

'cause... I thought I was so close!
and... it's right here!
I can smell it simmer!... but the light's grew. dimmer?... huh?

I had the visual.
but a bit too much... visionary
and no stationary...
not enough softness... and way too complex for such...
tom foolery... and premonitions of collision.

I just wanted to recite my vows with googley eyes...
speak in a rhythmic manor...
sway the crowd...
but...
the visual became too clutched... fisted in the twat of commitment...
and union...
then doomed

You want it...
and it's right there...
but the excess? to hook the weakest link... is a bit unclear

so the visual...
was left a bit untidy...
mis-dreamed... misrepresented... missed...
in all that was tied in...
for lack of luster in the shiney...
and...
mis-communicating the right timing.