She's A Brick.... Hoooussse

With a whole new meaning!

Alcohol can definitely take you to new heights of personal thoughts and feelings. Almost as much as smoking a blunt. LOL!! I don't smoke anymore, and on a random "Mommy Me Time" night, for some odd and unknown reason, I came to the conclusion that it's not the women who are trying to change the men, but the men who are constantly changing the women.

Fellas!! Let's take a look at your average woman. You are given this peice of land/foundation/cement/material... whatever you want to consider her as. Either way, when purchasing a home, the main point of concern is to find something suitable enough that could eventually progress into something more close and meaningful. Right?! Stay with me here. You want to be able to nip here and tuck there at your convenience because if something doesn't look right, you are able to adjust it at your own free will. You settle in the house and the house settle's to you. Your woman. Are you lost yet?

So I was thinking to myself, this particular night, whilst I was drinking my "thinking juice", that as much as the men say that we are trying to change them, it's really them who are changing us. And not by force... it's a choice, so I'm not scolding anyone. I think it's built into the woman's genetic code. I'm not a nagger but I'm assuming that when a woman references something that she would like to see different (in her man), apparently this is where destruction begins and she is then classified as a nagger and trying to control or change him. Well, I beg to differ, you see. When a woman finds her blueprint/foundation/ peice of land and whatnot, she conforms to it. It may not have necessarily been exactly what she expected, but she can see pass the need for maintanance and focus on the potentials of it. It's like motherly love. It's unconditional. I hardly call this trying to change the formation of things because if you really dig deep, she is already re-adjusting herself to complete this formula that which has been brought upon her. Either you love it, or you leave it. Women are solid, all the way through. So they do what brickhouses do best. Stand firm upon their foundation and shelter their prized possessions. Let me clarify that we are referencing real womenLOL!!. She excepted this home for what it was. If she can't run water from the faucet, she goes to the well. And if she find the small nooks and corners where there is a possible sentiment to be created, then, her everyday duties begin to consist of household chores and projects to make this house a home. You feel me playas?! LMAO!!

You men got it made! And you are all focused on the wrong things. You shouldn't have to wonder if the house is suitable enough for you. You should wonder if you are suitable enough for the house. Anything worth buying, is definitely worth the upkeep. Guys are too worried about how they are going to stay on their fake ass G shit. Not quite sure how to balance the in-betweens of the urbans to the suburbs. And, in the meantime, she is so content with this project that lays at her feet that, continuously and consistently, she is re-adjusting herself to be suitable for the home that she is upgrading. O M G... who would have thunk it. I think I must end on that note.

Until next time bloggers... she's a brick.... hoooouuuusssseeee...

Where Loyalty Lies

On a normal day, anyone can consider themselves besties, good acquaintances, play-play bros and sis', in other words, whatever pet name you have for the person(s) closest to you, that are of no relation. That's so sweet! On a normal day, we could all get a kick out of one another's company with great laughs, conversations, and lots and lots of love. This is the fun part! On a normal day, when there is absolutely nothing to worry about, no sorrow, no death, no drama, and everything is just peachy... then I guess you can say that as long as everyone remains in a moment of glory, they're pretty much good to go. Is it safe to say that we can only build friendships on comfortability, ease and/or maybe gain? Is this the only place that loyalty lies? In the fun and games?

People, on more than a few occasions, can easily get caught up on a rollercoaster of euphoric feelings when it comes down to the company of others. One minute you are high, and the next minute you are yelling, "fuck that bitch!!" BUT, let's reference the people making grand entrances into our lives that make us feel good. Compatible people. They can easily make us happy and/or smile. We can call them our associates or acquaintances. We could even call them a friend, but I wouldn't recommend it. You see, here we can hand over a hundred-grand easy. As long as someone has a smile on their face and are being pleased in specific areas of their lives as needed, then I guess you can call this good vibing. No one wants to fill their life with drama and bullshit because it's a new found hobby. As long as there is a smile on one's face, then everything is everything. Correct? But on that random day...? what happens when that smile fades and it's time to navigate a hot air balloon through a storm? In the thickness of those clouds, who will never question your judgement for taking the trip in this particular day in the first place?

I'm beginning to find out that everyone is not built for hard work. And building the brand that I strive for, I know that I definitely don't need any lazy asses on my team. So I keep my social life at a minimum... EASY!!! Definitely not a scratch my back, I'll scratch yours type of ordeal, but I do need to know what my limitations are and whether or not I need to keep you at arm's length. You find out during a time of struggle or a time of need who is willing to put in a peice of extra effort when it comes down to lifting you back up to where you once use to be. Fuck a friendship!! I'm looking for the loyalty! To know that no matter what is going on, I don't have to look around or over my shoulder to make sure that someone got me. I can handle a situation over here and not have to worry about what's going on over there because I feel comfortable and can rest assured knowing that even with my back turned, I don't have to double check my surroundings. I'm good regardless! Because I trust in this person's loyalty to me.

I hate to say it, but sometimes you need to run into fucked up situations to find out how real some people are and where it is, exactly, that their loyalty lies. You never know how someone will react on their feet. How quick of an reaction, reflexes... THINK FAST!! They could be quick thinkers and react awesome to a situation wherever they may be needed or they could get stuck and not react at all. Hell!! Maybe they're a runner... so haul ass, it is! It probably doesn't even have to be such a sticky situation. There are more than enough aspects in one person's life that could involve how loyal your catering services could be. I look for the ultimate top notch customer service and have yet to find it.... ok, maybe in one person and that's my ultimate bestie! I just love that bitch!!

I probably would be better off with a puppy. At least I know through the worst of moods, I would still have someone that will be tagging along somewhere not too far behind. They never give up on you! LOL!! It may be because they are hungry or got to pee but it's alrite, I think I could live with that.

Untill next time bloggers...

If You're Not First, You're Last

I heard or maybe read somewhere that women love to use the line, "I'll do it myself." LMAO!!! I will be the first to admit it, it's true. I thought about it for a minute, processed it, evaluated myself and came up with the drive behind this bullet. So, it's really not all in vain. I'm taking up for my girls and we got it honestly! So you might want to look out because this bullet could become rather deadly.

First I want to start by saying that I understand that some of us ladies have taken this whole independence thing to a totally different level. We have those that are modest about it and those who like to showcase. We even have the ones that are shouting, "I'm independent!" and haven't worked, payed for, or even struggled for a damn thing. BUT, that's besides the point. The point is, IN MY OPINION(lol), along side of the independence, if there is a man around, there are things that shouldn't have to be wanted for, asked for, or even spoken of. It should be a given. Men should never take advantage of the fact that "she got it" because in reality, it really looks like he doesn't. My motto is, "if I have to ask twice, then I'm begging" and I don't beg. I also would like to confess that I am the friggin queen when it comes down to announcing what I shouldn't have to ask for and the fact that, I can do it myself. Yes! If you are a man, you may be thinking to yourself that I am the epitome of a true, self-made bitch. I'll take that. Call it/me what you may, but I need to let you know who looks like the bitch at the end of the day.

Let's talk about this "PROVIDER" person, the "MAN", the one in charge. When taking on such strong proverbial titles, you would think that there is or should never be a lack of anything from the necessities within a household (ex. tissue, groceries, taking out the trash) to relationship stability (ex. love, sex, emotional) to family ties (ex. outings, dinner at the table, vacations). You should be able to back it up. Showcase the fact that you have your house under control and home will always and forever be taken care of. Because, you are da man! (maybe that's just how I feel about my home, lol) But, in my long line of man-dysfunction history, I have found that men are becoming professionals in the Excuses and Cop-Out Industry. I'll admit... some of the things we, women, ask for can be a little "corney"... or maybe not. But what happens when we actually need you for real? I don't think my man would feel comfortable with knowing that not only did I do it myself, but JoJo from next door helped me, too. What did you want me to do? You wasn't moving fast enough. It was something that had to be done and needed to be done at that given second. So what can I say? If you're not first, you're last. Not that this has anything to do with JoJo, but let me give you a scenario: we ask you to take out the trash, you do say what? "Ok bae, I'm going to get it after I finish watching the game." Game goes off and it's on to the next project that has absolutely nothing to do with the trash exiting my door. Do you see what you just did? I am, then, forced to say, "Don't worry about it, I'll do it myself." Did you see what just happened? Let's also take note that it's not just about the trash, it's about common sense too. Because if you see the trash overflowing, why don't you just go ahead and handle that? And this is where the domino effect begins, because now I am forced to follow up with, "I shouldn't have to ask."

Before you know it, after so many cop outs/pass ups/excuses, the realization comes into play that I'm Da mutha'fuckin' MAN!! and whose the bitch? Women like to ask their men to do things for them because it's cute, sometimes they don't feel like doing it because they do so much other shit that you don't do during the day, or maybe they just want to make their man feel like they are needed and they, in fact, are "THE MAN". Trust me when I say that a man is not a necessity, however, it is necessary to take out the trash. SO, regardless if the man is in place or not, the trash still gots to go. It's just a test, fellas. A small conversation peice. If you are not needed, then you are useless. And if you are useless, then you are not needed. Simple as that. So what happens next? The way things use to play out is the women would be screaming, "I need a man" and now times have changed and we're finding that it's really pointless to have one. Not because you're not needed or useless, but because we've already done it. Or maybe someone else did... hmmm...

Now this leads me into a totally different direction. I didn't want to go here. BUT, there are other people out here who actually do not mind helping out. It's definitely a bad look if someone else beats you to the punch, completing the job that should have been completed by you. Not only did you procrastinate and try to wait until the last minute (whatever minute that may be), but now someone else assumed your position and performed a job well done. I guess it would have been okay with you had I just done it myself like I said that I would do in the first place. And if someone else completed the task, now there is a whole other ball game to worry about. Now we are in a whole new arguement because YOU, did not complete a task that someone else completed other than me. But why even let it get that far? Why should I be forced to do it, when I intentionally asked you to do it. The quicker it would have gotten done... y'kno? Like at the very moment that I had asked, the quicker you could have gotten back to whatever it was that you were doing before I, so rudely interrupted you. I wouldn't be mad about having to do it myself and you wouldn't be mad about JoJo offering his assistance since he just so happened to be sitting there with nothing else to do. Then we wouldn't have to go back and forth, now, tossing the man's favorite line, "why didn't you just ask me to do it?" LMAO!!! Really!?!

Until next time bloggers... if you're not first, you're last!! Shake and Bake!!

Would You Want Your Daughter With Someone Like You?

Those of us, adults, that have common sense and kids, usually live most of our lives by way of "example". Everything has to be taken personal, serious, and with the most precaution. We have to set examples. Don't ask me why or who said it. I think it's somewhere floating in the force field of the Universe. So with that being said, what type of example are you setting? In addition, do you feel that the lifestyle you live now, whether pre or post child, do or doesn't have an engraved impression on their future upbringing? No. I'm not talking about the image that you would or do showboat for them, but your past and your footprints that which you have made for yourself. Not the life that you "so-called" try to front like you are Holy maintain for your family (what type of house, your job, and so on), but the life that which you live once you walk out the door. I have to admit, my friends, I have been a little caught up on images here lately. But I figured we would keep circling around the merry-go-round until we have a breakthrough.

I have heard, quite often, a guy blurting out the fact that he would want someone like his mother momma's boy. Or we can reference Beyonce's song striking a solid note to a tune professing the fact that she would want someone like her Daddy. And my question is, after hearing your child confess that they have realized what it is that they want from another human being, would you/could you give yourself credit for portraying an awesome image and feel accomplished for the mere fact that your child adores you just that much? Let's not forget, you are not just a parent. Parents are the people that set examples. You are someone totally different when you are out of plain sight of your children or at least until they come of age. Trust me... LOL!! I'm a parent. So, would you run with the ball thinking, "how sweet" and it would be wonderful if your child could end up with someone like you? Or do you smile and do away with the gruesome thought of your child/ren ending up with someone like you? Do you scare yourself into an awakened coma, zoned and painfully reminiscing about the people you have hurt in the past? Or do you begin a routine of prayers that your seed gets the YOU, here and now and not the YOU from your fucked up past? This brings us to the stories behind facts that "the grass isn't greener" and "what glitters ain't always gold"... Just when you think you're the shit! lol... Pump your breaks Cadillac! Let's marinate in this image for a minute or 2. You are you. No cut cards. Straight, no chaser.

Adult or child... there are more visual observants rather than those auditory or verbal people. When you say/hear, "I would love to be with someone like them", do you not understand that this is just another human being who eat, shit and breathes just like the next? And that they too, shall come with flaws? No one is perfect and no one is being asked to be. But wouldn't you want to be all that you could be? Not for the army, but for the Queen Bitch Karma. No one says "I'm going to fuck as many people as I can when I grow up", or "I'm going to break people's hearts." No one sees themselves as a pimp, player, hoe, bullshitter, etc. No one banks on swimming through the grit and grim when setting out to find that one person that can give us whatever it was that we saw our mom or dad receiving. No one banks on being heartbroken. And when WE, Yes! WE. are out here suiting up for the fun and games, no one stops to think, "Damn! That could have been my son/daughter." I wonder how I would feel if my son came back to me and said, "mom, *enter hoodrat name here*, keyed my car and slashed my tires." Although, I am at a point, now, where my patience isn't easily altered by stupidity; it would still be a slap in the face for my baby to have to experience the stupidity that I, once, projected onto another's property for being so damn stupid. On top of, knowing the type of bullshit I have put up with, when dealing with men, how would I manage my daughter's anger or frustration when she experiences her first, "he cheated on me"?

How can anyone be so sure of themselves? I don't think anyone take notes of the way that we receive our blessings. You pray for something so hard and once you receive it, you are faced with the reality behind it. No one ever said that it would be like this. This isn't what I signed up for. I quit! When growing up, children come up with bright ideas and dance in bubbly dreams as to how they see themselves or how they would like for their life to be. Oohh... the memories! Something that we all, more than likely, saw or had experienced somewhere at some time or another. But just because my daughter saw her daddy bringing mommy flowers every other Friday, doesn't necessarily mean that life is sugarcoated on chocolate. You give off a visual (or set an example) saying this is how mommy should be treated. BUT, babygirl also can't can't seem to grasp the fact or understand why mommy is still sad. Do you get my point here? And even though you are instilling one visual effect in her presence, there is always another visual that she has to process, because guess why... it takes 2, and mommy was left at the house with a funky attitude (visual 2). Daddy's little girl grows up looking for someone like daddy thinking she'll receive those flowers every other Friday the same way mommy did. But the kicker she never knew was that Daddy only bought mommy flowers because every other Friday was his playdate with ....

Are you sure you would want your daughter with someone like you?

Until next time bloggers....

Representative Part 2: He ain't shit!!

I'm not quite sure how far these episodes are going to go, but I had to share this epiphany with you guys today. Nothing I or anyone else has never heard before, but I'm under the impression that I'm not exactly sure what it means? "He/she ain't shit!!" I felt the need to branch this off from "Representative" for the mere fact that you have to stop and think about some things when taking in this type of information. After all, these people are referring to your representative.

THOUGHT PROCESS: "Why is it that everyone else can see that my representative ain't shit except for me?" I wouldn't say that love is to blame because you are blinded by it. I wouldn't even say that it's because some people choose not to see whatever it is that everyone is talking about. It's a little confusing and, of course, I am going to try to tackle this from all angles BECAUSE it could be that your representative is bullshitting on the job and really ain't shit. LOL!!... ok... so not a laughing matter.

As for our representatives, in our presence, we all expect for them to perform at his/her best. That's a given. It's in the job description. But as I stated in the last post, what are they doing behind your back in plain sight of the public? Where is this new name coming from called "he/she ain't shit"? Hmmmmm..... Now we could perceive this to be a mild case of hater-ism. Then again, I guess it's all in who poked fun first. So-and-so could be talking to so-and-so about whoever ain't shit. Then, of course, this gets back to you. Now when this peice of information comes back to the employer, what do you do? Do you evaluate and execute a plan for resignation papers or do we just hold onto this information because we are under the impression that someone is hating? A mere simple "write up" or "warning".

Let's look at the possible reality behind this situation, as well; this is probably not the first time that you have heard that your representative ain't shit. And because you have heard this more than a few times, do you began to suspect and wonder exactly what it is that this person is doing? How do you investigate the matter? If we take this info back to your representative, everyone pretty much knows what the answer will be... "fuck them! They don't know me! They hatin'!" Sounds familiar? And last but not least, while we are analyzing this situation... usually when someone blurts out "... ain't shit", there is never any moral behind the story. So how can this person not be shit if there is no back up/evidence as to why and how they got to be that way?

I guess we can narrow some of this down to a few elements as to how "ain't shit" derived. Maybe it was how that person used to be prior to their commitment to you. Maybe it's their demeanor or how they carry themselves when they are out and about that gives everyone an impression that, this person just has to be single. I guess it's either that or their S/O is a professional fun-dummy. But if in fact your representative is NOT cheating (and these are high hopes that only stupid or lazy people come up with) then what are we left with to put them in the "ain't shit" category? Maybe they are hanging out too much. Pretending to be something that they are not. Their priorities could be a little disorganized and maybe they are still trying to get the hang of things in this thing we call "commitment". Whatever the case may be, it still becomes a little confusing as to exactly who your representative should be representing, whether it is you or them. Because it seems as if the jury will always voice their opinion even if it's not requested.

Until next time bloggers... if you ain't reading Sense So Common, then you ain't shit LMAO!!!! omg!! I am too hilarious!! LLS!

Laundry Day: Trust Issues

I can admit that I am/can be a weird quirky type of person. But let's be real here... name a person that doesn't got some type of shit with them. LOL!!! So, I figured I would come with a load of laundry today and see if we can somehow get a clean up/breakthrough on where my trust issues derived. Whose with me!!? *crickets chirping*

So today class, we'll begin with the bullshit trust quotes that people like to preach: "If you don't trust me, then you don't love me", "if you don't trust someone, then you shouldn't be together"... blah, blah...blah, blah, blaaaahhhh. LOL! I find this to be false in some cases and in some cases, not. It all depends on the type of trust that you lack, the situation, and whether or not it interferes with certain aspects of your life. Am I wrong or do you believe that trust is trust, and it doesn't matter what direction it flows in or what we are referencing?

Does not everyone walk around here shouting, "trust no one", "don't talk to strangers", "always keep a bullet in the chamber"? Seeming a little far-fetched?! Well, it's not. Because these quoted lingos come from the fact that somebody, somewhere has some type of trust issue. Why not talk to a stranger? When you first meet someone and start dating, were they not a stranger at one point? And this is instilled in all of us at youth. And with that being said, that usually leaves everyone approaching people we do not know with an automatic shield. Why would you/should you keep a bullet in the chamber? Just in case, right? It's because you don't trust the statistics of what could possibly happen at any given moment. Right?! Trust issues!! Can I get an AMEN!!! lol Damn! I'm good.

OK, we're suppose to be talking about me and MY trust issues. No problem. "Class, my name is Candi and I have trust issues.... it all started when..." ~insert flashback effect and dreamy music here~ ... LOL!! Who the hell knows. I've never been the one to let my guards down, even though I can live my day to day life like there is not one care in the world. I always have an extra eye opened for any and everyone. EVERYONE. No exceptions. And I'm sure that everyone has lived just as much of a "normal" life as I have, so I won't bore you with in-depth situations that I have conquered. But I can say that my main trust issue stem from expectations of people, myself, or events. I expect for the worst to happen. At all times. I know, I know... you can think things into existence. I'm not sure that having this type of mindframe waddles around in plain view, however, my first thoughts are usually, "it's probably not going to work out as planned".

I usually continue on with my day/life/event or what have you and pace myself through everything as if I'm blind. So after confessing this, we can all assume that this does lead into some very problematic situations from time to time. I am the type of person that is willing to try anything new. I am open about myself and very honest. As a matter of fact, I'm a horrible liar. I accept change very well. What can I say? It's in the Aries bloodline. You RAM the bullet before the bullet rams you. But know that through any transition, I'm never comfortable. I stay away from planning ahead. So, to make it sound a little better, I guess you can call me spontaneous, maybe even impulsive. It's like I foresee the future and the future tells me that I'm heading for disaster or disappointment even though it may pan out to be an awesome adventure and ending. I speak when spoken to and I don't usually hide much of anything if the question is presented correctly. Does this effect relationships? Somewhat. But not to the point where it interferes on a daily basis to the point where we just can't get along. I have selective vision and hearing, so I'm a master at tuning shit out. I'm not the bragging and boasting type because I always assume that too much attention on one thing can be snatched at any given moment. It is safe to say that's the part I look forward to. Not because I want it to happen, but because, that's what I expect. I live in the moment, not for the future. Because the fact of the matter is, the future is not promised to me either. So why bank on that? Left with yet another disappointment. Expect nothing and you'll never be disappointed.

And there you have it... my laundry day for today. Trust issues!

Until next time bloggers... trust no one ;)

My Baby Is Better Than Your Baby

I know that this will probably be breaking the "maternal code", but let's be realistic about all things here; everybody's baby is not cute! And that's just getting straight to the point. No... I admit, it is not very motherly of me to talk about how ugly someone's baby may be, BUT I just have this pet peeve with new parents. Some things you just don't do... and that is shoving your new baby in everyone's face to admire, becoming "Einsteins" overnight because you read all of the books, and just being flat out dramatic about every single thing. For example: "I was just devastated, Lil Johnny pooped everywhere!!" Well... that's what babies do. To be honest, nobody outside of your immediate family really gives a fuck about the fact that you just had a baby or how you have been blogging about Lil' Johnny's every waking minute. Maybe it would be good for your keepsake but not the entire blog world. You wasn't the first and you won't be the last and plus I've already given birth, so I know what babies look like; before and after. And if there is anything special about the fact that you had a baby, it's probably because his/her's head is the size of a friggin watermelon.... ok, maybe that was mean... but really, people!

It's a girl!! It's a boy!! Well whoop-d-doo, you get a standing ovation! But let's be clear about where... in the privacy of your delivery room. Having a baby is a very joyous event and makes out to be a wonderful occassion for close family and friends to get together and celebrate a new creation/edition/person being born into the family. This is great! And trust when I say that I am definitely no dreamsnatcher, I have 2 of my very own. Everyone is proud of their miracle. But I have to lay down the law for new parents because not everyone swoons over newborns the way that you are swooning over your own. It's one thing for someone to come and ask, "can I see your baby" or "can I hold your baby". Here, we can discuss a different plan of action; but in all honesty, you and I both know that you really don't want anyone holding your baby in the first place. What really happened, here, is you turned into an attention whore. "Look at what I did". And since no one else is saying anything, I would like to be the first to break the news that no one gives a fuck. You do not get a gold metal for "awesome-est uterus ever".

My dear readers, you guys know me by now. LOL!! Or maybe not. I understand that I have a tendency to be so random from time to time. But I have to let you know, yes, this post derived from a display of events. And in all of my 29 years, I swear I had never seen anything like it. You see, the normal thing for people, like me, to do is to keep our babies covered with like, 10 blankets. They are wrapped in one, another is placed lightly over them in the car seat and then you have the "throw" that is lightly placed over the handle of the carseat. No, it does not matter that the heat index is at a 105 degrees today! What matters is that you do not spit your "goo-goo's" and "ga-ga's" on my damn baby. Do not touch them. Fuck it, just don't look at my baby!! I'm also limited to whose homes and certain locations to attend when I am accompanied by my babies. BUT, that's me and more than a few others that I know; however, these people that I am referring to, follows everyone around with their big head baby as if it's really something to show off. This child is only a few months old and does absolutely nothing spectacular besides the usual, blowing spit bubbles and laughing. "How cute"... ok... not really, but I guess that is what you are suppose to say. For one, I see a lot of things wrong with the picture. The child has never attempted to crawl around on his own, walk, be sat in a walker or any type of a swing. I'm a little confused by this "show off" stage. If you ask me, he is well on his way to being borderline "slow" because at this age, brain development is essential. But I guess new parents wouldn't know that.... or do they? After all, that should be in the books, right?

I'll send you a picture with the quickness. But the truth of the matter behind the whole situation?... "it's alrite that you can't make it to see my baby..." one less breath I have to worry about breathing on them. My philosphy is, "the key to raising a child is encouraging independence and assisting with emotional balance." And to keep their asses AWAY from germs.

Until next time bloggers... don't be a boob newb

I Ran Out of Gas

So, yesterday was my birthday, guys. And, boy was it a good one. Not because of the fact that I received a lot of gifts or anything (because I didn't); but because I got to spend it with everyone that was near and dear to me. I'm a very personable and intimate person which usually makes me fairly simple to please. I'm very easy ;) But, moving right along, I came to the conclusion that I am getting old as fuck!!! SMH!! What should have happened today... of all days, I should have requested off from work and kept my old ass home in the damn bed. Geez!! I am not 21 anymore and damn if I didn't get that picture drilled into my head over this past weekend.

I got kicked off on Friday with Girl's Night. I have like 2 friends in the whole entire world and I'm very fortunate that these heiffas live in the same county as I. LOL!! Dinner and a few shots at TGIFriday's. It was lovely. Ended the night on the dance floor at a nice little spot called TJ's, with what feels like, arthritis in my right toe. Grandma never lied when she said "cuteness will kill you." I should have just laid on the floor and died. LOL!! OMG!!! 5 inch booties for one night is pure murder. You know, just because you feel energized at that very moment, does not necessarily mean that you should use the energy all up. It's like gas, you should save some for later. And with the prices going up the way that they are, we have to be very resourceful as to how far we go. Same thing with this old ass body of mine... oh no!! This bitch had to party like a fucking rock star!!

Well, we move right along to Saturday. I mind you that life still goes on and usually I try to get all of my chores done on my days off. Had I planned ahead or used the little bit of energy I had during the week, the smart move would have been to do a little bit here and there throughout the week. My laundry was ridiculously overflowing and it seems as if I could hear someone screaming "help me" underneath it all. LOL!! And my day started off all wrong, anyway, because I woke up at 8 o'clock!!! Yes! In the fucking morning! Need I remind you of girl's night from the night before accompanied by a shot of tequila, a blue motorcycle, a shot of Ciroc, Ciroc and cranberry, and Jose' and orange juice. x_x Nope, my babies were not up. Nobody but me and for what?! Another ritual I perform on my days off is cooking breakfast, which I did. And the next move to make was to wash these friggin clothes and to make sure that my daughter made an appearance at the 2 birthday parties she was suppose to attend. I packed up 2 loads worth and it seems as if it took me all day to wash those. We had to skip one party, but made it to the other. Missed the food and cake but she got a chance to jump in the blow up trampoline and attend the sleep over. Left me ample enough time to get back home, and get ready for a night out with the "pending". We had decided to go to the strip club because that's our thing. We banked on "all black everything" (which is all I have in my closet anyway) and Red Berry Ciroc with RedBull. Now everyone knows that going to the strip club should be a pretty chill event. Not much requirement of energy. You sit down and enjoy the show. Well, we spent every bit of maybe a hour and a half in there (if that, maybe shorter) before a fight broke out and some drunk ass let off what sounded like a little 22. Which leaves with a dumbfound look because I recall walking through a metal detector at the door. Here we go again!!! 5 inch pumps making a mad dash for the Exit/Entrance door. We hit home, night doesn't stop there. Had no choice but to top it off with a few rounds of "Birthday Cake", Rihanna style ;) What can I say? It was only right. *shrugs shoulders*

Heading into Sunday, I had hoped for a chill day, in which it was. Sort of. I cooked breakfast and pulled out some beef ribs to start cooking an early dinner since it was Easter. Oh yeah, and my birthday. And I was also trying to figure out how I was going to incorporate completing the rest of this laundry. In the process of thinking, I get a phone call from my mother (of course) and she asks, "what's up for today? It is your birthday... what are we doing?" Now let me tell you bloggers something about my mother, her tank is usually full. I have no idea how she continuously stays on the go and I am very unfortunate to not have inherited that particular characteristic. Sometimes I wonder how she can even afford to keep her tank full, lol. I was rather sluggish that morning but I did revive by the time I got to my mom's. She wasn't there, so the "pending" and I decided to go ahead and get the grill started. Let me also add that I went ahead and got started on my laundry as well. Yes!! I packed and brought my laundry with me, lol. Threw in a load, cleaned and seasoned the meats and cooked the sides. My sisters, my neice, my babies, my mom, the "pending" and me. We sat out on the deck, we ate, we drank, and shared good convo. It's not too often that the "pending" spends time with my family and sit in a round-the-table conversation, so I was rather shocked by this surprise. But hey, why not? After all, it was my birthday. Seems pretty relaxed and chill for the moment, right? Oh hell no! My baby sister and her little friend get's the bright idea of coming up with a dance routine. Which is fine. BUT my mom, my other sister and I joining in the line dance is just horrendous!! I mean terrifying. This is what happens with liquor at it's best. smh! Wore my wedges, even though the athritis in my right toe is still lingering, but I wasn't crazy enough to dance in them, lol. I did have that much sense. But not enough sense to sit my black ass down somewhere and act like I had to be at work the next day. You know... like reall grown-ups should. SMH And now I am paying for it today.

I bet you would like to see all of the kodak moments I captured, right? LMAO!!! A pose here and there. Maybe even a club picture taken at the booth. All the ladies sitting at the table with their round of shots. The "pending" and I heading out into the night. Or me and my family making complete and utter fools of ourselves LMAO!!! Well... I have none! Who does that? My last year in my 20's and I don't have 1 single picture to say "I was here" on April 6th, 7th, or the 8th! uugghhh! Or to prove that I spent my birthday with the most awesome people in the whole entire world. That's how I know I'm getting old as hell and I probably got about a quarter tank of gas left. Now I need to sit down and rummage through the ideas of how I'm going to fit getting in shape, into my schedule. I'm kicking 30 in the ass and I am feeling it. Fuck the quarter tank, I think I am completely gas'd out.

Until next time bloggers.... Happy Birthday to me!!

And to think, next year I am planning for my "Forever 30" 3 day long birthday party. For the life of me... *hangs head in shame*

Are You Cheating On Me?..... With Who?.... Yourself?

I don't usually request feedback on any of my post, but I would absolutely love, love, looooovee for people to give me their opinion behind this matter.

I have never understood why most women don't like for their husbands or boyfriends to watch pornography. I mean... I like it! It can make a good movie night. LOL!! A lot of times, I find it to be moreso hilarious, rather than arousing. A tad bit informative, maybe. Pornography, stripping, magazines... I put this into my visual box. It's shit that men and women, both, like to LOOK at or maybe even try to imitate. So this box get's a thumbs up from me. Are we seeing eye to eye here? Maybe not, but that's ok because I have plenty of room to type. The things that we are seeing, we can take it in, process it and possibly put it into use. We can learn new shit to try in the bedroom from watching pornos, we can learn how to dance in different exotic ways for our partners by watching the strippers, or we could create our very own magazine consisting of our sexy pictures for our partners. Never the less, it's all about your imagination.

NOW, I can tell you what I do have a problem with. MASTURBATION!! Don't get me wrong, just let me explain... I consider masturbation to be a "backup plan". Being the kinky-minded person that I am, I do understand that I can't leave out the fact that there are some who like to incorporate this in their sexcapades, watch there partner perform on themselves or something to that effect. We can add these people to our "visually effected" corner. So, no wrong-ness in that case. Everyone is getting something out of it. However, we resort to our "backup plans" when your partner has been working overtime, ranking in hours for a little extra bank, the days after that big ass arguement and everyone is giving the silent treatment. This is the shit you do when you are single and you would rather be with nobody else but yourself. Is anyone out there feelin' me? My pet peeve kicks in when people are in an awesome relationship, but yet, masturbation plays a bigger role than the sex between the 2. I can hear your questions in the blog-a-sphere air:

- Is the sex wack?

- Are they bored?

- Do their schedules conflict?

- After asking to perform a specific scene from a porno, was it done?

- Maybe they just wanted a quickie at that given moment and you were occupied at the time?

Really?! What the fuck difference does it make?!! You wait!! With your impatient-ass-lotion/lube/spit and hands/fingers. I find it to be rather insulting to have a partner you can't fuck because they are too busy fucking themselves. If you are in a relationship, your partner is there for a reason. My opinion. I'm quite sure everyone tries to make a particular person, the love of their lives for their very own personal reasons. Sex could be a factor of that, or it could not. But let's just say that it is. What am I suppose to do while you are "beating your meat", "choking the chicken", or "spanking your monkey"? After you have just got yourself a "peice of hand" or a "2some"? And you stayed awake long enough to tell me, "no baby, I don't feel like it because I just got finished doing myself." Can we consider this cheating? So I get's the short end of the stick because you wanted to picture your hand as Cherokee lubed in lotion? I don't understand how if you have the necessary and PROPER tools available to you at any given moment (NOT YOUR HANDS OR FINGERS), you continuously run to the "backup plan". And this is not a "backup plan" moment. Is this what we can consider to be safe sex? If that is the case, then it makes no sense to be in a relationship? Right? Or am I being selfish?

I understand that, me, asking these questions can possibly bring out the ignorance in a person. "Ignorant" would probably ask some dumb shit like, "wouldn't you rather them jack-off, then to actually fuck somebody else?" And yes, this question would be suitable for the factor of common sense. And let's be honest here, no one wants to hear that shit. Because 1)I'm still horney and 2) you have a fucking duty to fulfill. SO that would make the reality of the situation out to be, "NO! I would rather them fuck me!" Period! Now that's common sense, too. Who would have thought that there would come a point and time when your partner would rather do themselves and THEN brag to you about how good it felt? "Wish you could have been here, bae." REALLY?! You lay in the bed with the same person every night, wake up to them in the mornings, and whadauknow, they already had sex with themselves before you can even get your panties wet. I think you just cheated on me with yourself? .....

Until next time bloggers... didn't your momma tell you, you could go blind doing that?

Lions and Tigers, and Dick Riders! Oh My!!

There is being friendly, being A friend, cordial, respectable, a people person... you get the point.
VS.
Being an ass-kisser, brown-noser, Dick Rider, cheerleader, a non-mutha'fuckin factor... I'm sure you get my point here, as well. LOL!

AND... there is a thin line between the 2.

If there is one thing that I cannot stand... that is a bitch, who is a professional dick-rider. As a matter of fact, that's going to be her name throughout this post, lol. Keep up, my fellow followers. Now, not that I am talking about anyone specific, or I could be... "Dick Rider" is a female who just so happens to be friends with a male. Any male. You all could be mutual friends, or random associates that just tend to socialize because you are in the same place, at the same time. This could be an associate, friend of a friend/male counterpart, secretary, assistant, client, employee, cousin, sister... yes, it could be anyone, from a random acquaintance, to a dear family member.

Now that we have that established, let's run through really quick what "Dick Rider's" job description is:

Objective:
To swoon all over your man with high hopes that when the 2 of you go to bed at night, all he can think about is how greatly I rode him with all of my bitchified anticdotes. To receive ego-boosters, in return, so that I can build my self-esteem. To become a professional dick rider. To be the first one called on when the wifey is acting a hot mess. To always be the one to understand, no matter how foul it is.

She has a duty to fulfill. She has to over-exaggerate every comment, compliment, or random sentence that is being said to the "ridee". Normally in dealing with this situation, because men can be so naive and they absolutely love ego-boosters... they don't recognize the fakeness behind it. Because let's face it, doesn't riding a dick feel so good?! Not only to the rider, but to the ridee, as well. And it all may not be pure fakeness. They could be legitimate compliments or comments being made, however I think one compliment would do enough justice. But this bitch is a pro. "Dick Rider" will ride his dick in rain, sleet or snow. She will stand on the sidelines and cheer her ass off. Make t-shirts with his name on it, get a tattoo with his name on it, probably even ride his dick, for real, if she could get close enough. She wants to be recognized for her efforts. She absolutely has to be great at everything she does because if not, sure enough she fear's the chance that she can possibly be replaced. We may find more often, these people located at our place of work. They want to be the one that has the most work and the first one finished. Running around like a chicken with her head cut off, as if someone's life absolutely depends on it.

What is her motive behind all of this extra work? Who knows? If you ask me, I say the bitch has low self-esteem, she needs to feel apart of something, this is how she get's her rocks off. My suggestion would be for her to just go get gang-banged into the Bloods/Crips, and they would love her just the same. *shrugs shoulders* what? Knowing that she could possibly be your man's best friend (said in a sarcastic way)... WHICH WOULD MEAN: she has one up on you. She will always be apart of your man's life whether the 2 of you make it or not.... okay, moving on. Knowing that she could possibly be your Supervisor's favorite: she will always work her way out of the fuckery that she fucked up and receive every 'request off' date she's ever asked for. She contains a rare effect that not a lot of people have... TIME!! and no real hobbies!!! As long as she is sitting still, she's coming up with new ways to lube up, slide on and ride, yet another, round. And a professional, she strives to be! Who knew someone could give 52 compliments in one sentence? LOL! But who am I to steal your joy?

Until next time bloggers... enjoy the ride!

Your Soul!... SOLD!!

Love and "fortune" doesn't mix.

When you think of selling your soul, you think of Illuminati, a possible soul transaction, or maybe all of the rap artist or singers, all of that supernatural nonsense. Be real... it kind of keeps you wondering. If you are a God-fearing christian, I'm quite sure that everyone would love to keep their mind distant from any thoughts of Satan bringing any type of good to someone's life. Definitely something up with this picture, huh? Well... I found myself slipping into this equation this morning, continuously pondering and over-analyzing the specifics of this current situation I'm finding myself in and seeing if I could actually create and solve this equation (and NO, I am not the one selling my soul): "What are you selling that which could be exemplified as a mean of one's soul?" Now, technically speaking, we know you can't actually sell a soul. I mean... duuuhhh lol! But, the portion that forced me to commit myself to this post is the fact that I think the over-analytical answer that I was searching for popped in mind; You are giving up everything that you have ever had to offer: what humbles you, the things that keep you grounded, time with your kids, relationships, everything that you worked so hard for (the normal way) has taken flight. A choice made with yourself to put these things on the line because YOU felt that they were worth getting rid of in order to put yourself in a state of comfortability, fame or fortune. You would rather risk this, than to lose that. You sold your soul to the Devil... um, um, um, Just that damn quick. smh. Shame on you.

Now let's dig a little deeper. I know some of you are sitting back with the stink face like, "what the hell is Candi talking about?" But think about it. What is your soul comprised of? Are we not grounded on a foundation of people such as, family? Constructed with the wood and nails purchased by our own selves to create and build a shelter of our very own? Consisting of our offspring, hard work, and struggle? Our life IS the very soul that we were put here with, and decorated, BY US, to our likings along the way. SO, when there is a sacrifice to be made, something hendering you from being all that you can be, who or what do you choose? People like to throw "blame" and "claim" into the faces of others once they feel they are threatened by those that are "unlike" them. Those who actually give a damn. First things first, it's "Fuck the World", "Do you know how much I had to sacrifice to get to where I am today?" Now... that is the million dollar question! CLAIM: I did it all by myself without the help of anyone. BLAME: Where were you? You won't supporting me... you didn't give me shit!. Do you see how this is working here? Who knew that in the process of fulfilling your dreams, how easy it would be to torch the undies right off your own ass in the mist of things? How much are you willing to give up to "succeed"?

Now sure enough, any type of success that one can achieve is grandeur! BUT, in my opinion (AND THIS IS JUST MINE), you aren't successful if you had to sacrifice so much to get to where you are. It only means that you are lazy. You traded in upholding your share of responsibility for those/things that was, at one point, superior to you. You gave up on the life that got you to the starting line of where you needed/wanted to be. The key in being completely successful is to come out of it alive! With your diginity and pride. To know that you had enough strength to carry the weight of everything that you started out with and end up with everything that you started out with, and more. You gained everything and lost nothing. Now that is real work!!

Let's all evaluate ourselves. How many times have we yelled out what we had to sacrifice in order to get something accomplished? Now, hold that answer. When all of your accomplishments and everything was acquired and in order, how did you feel at the end? Were you happy that you were able to break up with your S/O at that point? Were you happy that you did not talk to your family for a whole year? Did you pawn your kids off every chance that you got? Was no communication with your "important people" really worth what you feel that you were able to accomplish without them? I do admit that there are good sacrifices and bad sacrifices. So don't misinterpret the post, which I am sure you already have. You could sacrifice an abusive boyfriend or a whore of a girlfriend and definitely come out on top. You see... that was for the better. But to sacrifice your family who held you down when you started out with nothing, then I see a soul transaction taking place. You're a sellout. You basically fed off of the vulnerable (the people that could never shun you whether you are doing right or wrong, rich or poor) to get to the top and left them dangling in the wind. And it wasn't that you forgot or just so happen to get caught up in the rapture, you just quit caring because the Devil had you at his knees.

Until next time bloggers... mind, body and soul