Lil' Country Girl in the Projects

I remember...
waking up, warm mornings, listening to these birds with this one of a kind song. wishing I could mimic the lyrics. sun shining bright through the cracks of the shades. you know... those kind that you can only pull up. frizzy edges. wash your faces and brush your teeth.

I remember...
waking up to smoked sausage, rice, and scrapple mixed in eggs. didn't care too much for the feast, but the biscuits and molasses was the ultimate, ultimate. blocked cheese and canned meats. grocery shops at Winn-Dixie and new inventions of the little machines activated by motion sensors, to spit the coupons at you. picking sweet potatoes and strawberries. licking the cake bowl. dropping little rocks in ant holes. books of food stamps and pictures of Jesus. fields of cotton and tobacco warehouses. jumping ditches. walks through the woods.

I remember...
Saturday morning cartoons. only to await the commercials so that I can write out my "Christmas List"... or my "Summer List"... or my "what I want" list. "TGIFs" when Urkel was a star. playing outside for hours on end. coarse dirt between my toes, black bare feet. cement that felt like cotton, and grass that was green for days. watching out for the little stickies, blowing dandelions and chasing butterflies. wishing on "red birds". running from wasp nest and admiring the bee hive in the big tree. naming caterpillars and catching lightening bugs at night, making the flickers into earrings. endless breezes and "just right" temperatures.

I remember...
singing in the fans. unforgettable scents of Tide, Joy detergent, Dial soaps. lye soap from the golden days. Hand-made. Grandma would say, "you bet not get this in your eyes!".. "hanging out clothes". country dialects that were music to my ears. lard and fat back. earthworms and ladybugs. sticking cicada skins on our clothes. pineapple cakes dressed in coconut, 3 layer chocolates, banana puddins. sweet potato pies and lemon meringue. I remember the old lady neighbors, Miss Liz and her husband Roy, Miss Almeeta. a pair of skates to share between us 2. I had the "right" skate while she had the "left"

I remember...
big cousins teaching me to ride my bike. hide and seek. now and laters. 25 cent Hug juices. melted ice cream and dirty knees. broken swings that we used for jungle gyms. I remember, "bubble gum-bubble gum-in-the-ditch..." walks to my auntie house. child discussions of what we were gonna be when we grow up. new discovery of cuss words. popping wheelies. catching frogs. listening to the clock radio and watching cartoons on the VCR. falling asleep on "the stories" and dialing out on rotary dial phones. switches and housecoats. tobogans and Tony the Tiger's, "they're grrreat!", "coo coo for cocoa puffs", and "silly rabbit, Trix are for kids"

I remember...
nabs and coca-cola bottles. bottle openers affixed to the freezers so that you're able to pop the cap before leaving the store, fresh-out-the-freezer-first-swigs. refreshing! peanuts and sunflower seeds. lil debbie cakes. moon pies and sugar daddys. everything's made from "scratch". castor oil. milk of magnesia. pepto bismol. gas stoves. Grandad's ramp. the snow of 88. or maybe it was 89? hurricane hugo. a/c's in the windows and grandma's old scanner. blue carpet. the blue recliner. mix-matched christmas tree ornaments and merita bread. the little TV on top of the floor model. hair grease and ponytails. crisp creases and tucked-in shirts. jacked-up pants and socks with sandels. playing in Grandma's clothes and ancient jewelry. $2 bills and half dollar coins.

I remember...
feeling safe. not a care in the world. long summers and short winters. the first time not crying when I scraped my knee. the not so average child's summer vacations in DC. "Alf" and "Punky Brewster". "Cricket" the Robot. Cabbage Patch Kids and Care Bears. I remember the only rose bush that bloomed once a year. bright colors and headbands to match. birthdays at McDonald's. princess dresses. my first book, "will you walk me?" 9 p.m. bedtimes and late night PBS. the year the Redskins won the Superbowl. I remember this. I remember that little country girl in the projects.

The Great Debate: What Should 'Child Support' Support?

Oh the horrors of child support! They never end. Everyone who has a child has a story. Even if you do not have a child, you know a story. lol. I don't always agree with the court systems being brought in between a family who should have common sense enough to know how to handle funds for a child. I also believe that there are specific duties that which fall upon parents that shouldn't have to be asked for, or reminded of. It should just come natural. Common sense. You know the child can't take care of themselves. And whether or not a 'custodial' parent is willing and able, that shouldn't justify what the 'non-custodial' parent should or should not do.

With that being said, let's talk about the laws. In the state of North Carolina, the child support figures are given according to the amount of money that is "legally" being made per each parent. I quote the word "legally" because if someone is getting paid "illegally", that money doesn't count. If someone is "trying to start their own business" and collecting funds from that, then that money doesn't count. If someone is living in luxury off of someone else's income while their child is living in poverty, that money doesn't count. So tell me what the fuck you need my paycheck stubs for?! Because if and when, in fact, the other parent is claiming not to work, the courts are then comparing my income to an imaginary scale of a round-about amount of how much it would cost to take care of one child with just 1 income, alone. Basically cutting the unpaying parent or jobless parent, some slack.

So let's focus on this picture. They combine a total of each parent's income. As if anything is being divided equally in the first place. Given that both parents are working, smh. They also have to pay attention to whether or not the 'non-custodial' parent has other children. If you ask me, what difference does it make? Because, if the 'custodial' parent has other kids that which their income has to be split amongst, no slack is placed upon them. And regardless of the fact, if they do or don't make enough money, they still have to provide for all children in their household. Sooooo, basically the non-custodial parent is still getting away with murder because they are only issued an order to pay so much a month or every week based on their laziness.

The general overview of the Child Support Law tells us that the 'non-custodial' parent is to ALSO provide some type of support for the child's housing, food, clothing, daycare (if any), and any other micellaneous item that the child may be involved in (ie: sports, school programs and so forth) Now... with this being said, how can you calculate a round about estimate of how much it would generally cost to raise 1 child for 18 years, BUT, somehow the child support that is issued out to the 'custodial' parent (through the courts) does not amount to nowhere near the calculations a "statistical system" formulated by the government, overviewed? So, regardless of what money I make, the government should match that and create this pretty picture that they are trying to paint for the sake of the children. Am I right? This would also mean that, like the 'custodial' parent, the 'non-custodial' parent needs to get their lazy ass out there and find a job to make ends meet regardless of where the child lays his head every night. Simple shit, you would think.

Am I bitter? No. I'm good. And maybe it's my pride but I just feel that some things should be... well... common sense *shrugs shoulders*. I just wanted to recount some of the bullshit the government likes to throw in people faces. Bullshit laws that are made to be broken or non-existant when it comes time for real justice to be served. Because any and every judgement could only be looked at 1 of 2 ways: either you are going to have sympathy for each and every person on the stand, at all times. OR the law is the law, period. And I'm speaking on all laws in this instance. But, if a judge is not being sympathetic to the 'custodial' parents full instance of circumstance, then how or why can he/she be sympathetic to the circumstance of the 'non-custodial?

With all do respect, fair is fair and time spent does not take the place of financial assistance. Until next time bloggers...

Trials of a Mother: Blessing is Sick

So my daughter is sick and has been for almost a week now. I am not one of those mother's that up and runs to the ER as soon as my children sneeze. I don't believe in a lot of meds... especially the antibiotics that the Dr will normally prescribe at the visit. Field trips to the clinics are usually my last resort. But anywho, Robitussin is my cure-all. And needless to say, I think we will be taking a trip to the clinic anyway.

This past week that Bless has been sick, she has not been sleeping at all. At least, that's what it feels like to me. Mommies know best, the home remedies that will get your sick, puffy eyed babies back to normal: plenty rest, orange juice, fruit, crackers and soup. Maybe a bottle of gatorade on hand just in case we get a touch of dehydration and don't forget the Robitussin and some Motrin to break the fever. Did I mention plenty of rest?

Now let's get to the realistic aspect of MY child's sickness! LOL!! Looking at the pitiful, pouty mouth toddler, and hearing her "hack" and sneeze every 5 minutes... you would have nothing but the most pure, heartfelt sympathy that you could possibly feel. Try adding on a dabble of diarrhea, a pinch of redness in the face, weak eyes, so on and so on. Most parents think that medicine of any sort would usually knock the kid out for at least an hour or 2, depending on how severe their case may be. Or just make them comfortable for a little while. Well, let me pump your breaks!! Because this child of mine, does not make pit stops for nothing and nobody. Still lively with energy, doped up off the Robitussin and the fever reducer, as needed (every 2 hrs after the Robitussin)... this child is still at it. Running here, bouncing there, and making sure that every TV in the house is set to the NickJr channel. OMG! Her eye hurts, back hurts, her tummy hurts... she wants you to rub the lotion on her, give her some medicine but refuses to eat the soup. Finally convinced to eat the crackers, she later found out that she really likes them, BUT, they have to be given on her terms. The orange juice,"it's not right!!" and "no, I don't wanna lay down." Just notate that this is what my first weekend off in 2 whole weeks was like.

Night time is the most crucial. She has been pulling all-niters for the past few nights. OMG!! You should see what mommy looks like... x_x BUT, prior to the night-time parties, in preparation, we get ready for bath time. You know... just as if we are going to bed for real. I always try to stay in high hopes. Soak for a minute or 2, bathe really good and make sure the nose is clear and free of a "booger party" (dried boogers). Nasal passages that look like one of those caves that you see on the National Geographic channel with the water that shapes those rocks into these maganificent works of art. Well... that's just where I would like for my imagination to take me while digging through mountains of these dried boogers that are stuck and holding back the excess snot that slowly oozes it's way, throughout the day, down to the upper lip where they probably have licked clean more times than a few. Thanks to Yo Gabba Gabba and their "Germs" episode, she's getting pretty darn good about blowing her nose and washing her hands. So good that I'm starting to think she has a touch of OCD, LOL!! smh.

Soooo, last night was my last straw. 14 days of work, 2 days off and still no whole night's rest. So "ding"!! The light bulb came on... flickered a little but it was still pretty bright. You see, back when Bless was just an infant, she had caught a cold. At infant stages, you cannot give babies medicine. So I had came up with this concoction to mix Johnson and Johnson's bedtime bath with the baby's vapor bubble bath. It was good shit, then!! As a matter of fact, it was great shit!! So I figured I would give it a whirl again to see if it still had the same effects as it did back when she was itty bitty. I think it worked best on me. NOTE TO SELF AND OTHER MOTHERS: mommies who need some "me" time in the bath tub. Soak yourself in some of this concoction. By the time you get out, you'll be relaxed with a clear passage way and will be able to sleep for days. BUT, it's not about the mommies and to my amazement, it worked on this hyper-active 3 year old. She had no problems with taking a bath this time because she had lots of bubbles to play with. And 30 minutes to an hour later, she was passed out. Could have been a shorter time frame, I dozed off first. LOL!! She slept the whole night. Well... until about 4 a.m. However, I'm happy with the outcome.

Announcer: For the mommies who have those type of children who enjoys taking medicine because it's like a sugar boost and has them flipping off the counter tops; Go to the store and buy you some Johnson and Johnson's bedtime bath (comes in a purple bottle) and vapor bath (comes in a green bottle). Run their bath water, pour in some of each... and there you have it!! "Sleep", in a bottle!!! Enjoy!!

Another note to self... remember to get my night time chores out of the way before giving Bless a bath. Until next time bloggers...

Truth Be Told: Effective Communication

How hard is it for someone to express how they feel about a particular situation? Could you honestly say that someone can really project their "real" feelings for a particular person? Could you really voice to someone how much you hate their ways and the fact that sometimes looking at them really makes you sick, HOWEVER, you are afraid to be alone and therefore you would rather suffer with the terminal illness. Is communication really all that effective as everyone claims it to be? And the people who claim they have no problems opening up to their partners/family members/friends... are they really giving the whole truth and nothing but the truth? Why do we give a portion of a summary, but not the whole story? If the purpose is to simply map out the timeline of a history of events, why should it be summed up in the first place? Wouldn't the full story/speculations be needed for a justly plea? Or does no one have that kind of time, like random people supposedly claim they do? Does the fear lie within us? Fears of disappointments, lonliness, or even esteem issues? Or is the fear accumulated due to your premonition of the after effects? The consequences!... behind verbally communicating a state of being that which your prospect placed you in, because they can't handle the truth... or maybe they would just rather not hear it.

Do we, extra-sensitive-cry baby-beings, not like hearing how we can ultimately fuck up the next persons life? Are we so into ourselves... feeling like we are the one and only safe-keeper of the rare form of perfections? For example: You can't tell me that I don't make you happy! You can't tell me that I did something wrong! You can't tell me that I'm not a good mother! You can't tell me that I'm not a good friend or lover! You can't tell me these things because... it's me! Am I making sense here? Can we take constructive criticism from a random person? Can we really... and I do mean really... handle the truth? Are we not built to take accusations placed upon us in our daily judgements for the betterment of us as a people/person? Could you move forward with your information without becoming defensive? OR would you be able to move forward with your information and outline ways of making the wrongs right?

If we effectively communicate what an issue may be, how sure are you with yourself to take in the information that which you are receiving without so much as cracking a frown or exploding like a stick of TNT? Sure enough, things that are being said would come as a shock. Some things/words/actions are a lot harder for some people to consume, but, at what halfway point are are most people actually willing to meet? The line being drawn will always remain unequal and no one involved within this conversation could chew up their accusations and swallow it for the nutrition it could possibly bring. I truly believe that every single person in this world is, somehow, stubborn in their own way. And I make notes of the fact that no one likes to be told that they are a disappointment. With accusations being made to this effect, most people are usually quick to turn the other direction and hold strong to the things that one person has critiqued. They would invent anticdotes to sooth the guilt behind the claimed innocent. BUT with that being said, if one person critiqued another on a bad habit... sure enough the next person will feel the same way. People are born with traits and characteristics that never fade away. They can only be controlled but the fact remains that, that characteristic will always be there. But... whose to say that the next person will effectively communicate the frustration that has indeed added another dot to the timeline?

How do we handle this situation? Why... we communicate! LMAO!!! No. Really. And that will be all for today. Until next time bloggers... Live, Laugh, Love, Communicate.... effectively

Chicken Bologna and Bread

*sigh of relief* It feels good to be back. But, only for a split second. Project overload is in motion and I'm really proud of myself. A little worn out but I'm alrite and hopefully it will work out for the better. I'm not here to preach on this post today. And the title of this post was thought up after watching an episode of "Housewives of Atlanta": their trip to Africa. My first thoughts on the matter were to blog about the episode but I didn't have the time to sit down at a computer (I so need to invest in a laptop... random) And I'm glad that I didn't because since then, apparently a "Higher Power" has made me analyze this phrase a little more and incorporate it into my very own life.

To sum things up quickly, the ladies had taken a trip to Africa and they were on their way to visit an orphanage when they stopped off to a store and saw some students dancing and singing... on their lunchbreak! The first thing that got to me was, when the ladies approached the kids, a little girl greeted them by asking, "can I hug you?" *tear* The next thing that just tore a hole in my heart was when the ladies asked the kids would they like anything out of the store and one little boy said, "chicken bolgna and bread." *another tear* With that being said, actually none of the kids asked for anything that was not an everyday necessity.

Back to me. I have to admit, that I have been stressing lately about a lot of shit that has been going on in my life. I would lose myself in my thoughts and then meditate on, "walking by faith and not by sight." In the mist of the mantras, now generally speaking, people don't stop to think how much worst things could be or how it's the small things that are taken for granted everyday. What would you do without your chicken bologna and bread? If you couldn't get your hands on it? It's right there in your face but you lack the necessity to just walk in the store and purchase it. Do you go and steal it, pout about it or do you sing songs and dance to your own tune in pure happiness because your atmosphere is filled with praise and goodness? We take so many of the simple things in life for granted. We swim in irrational thoughts about what we don't have and how we can't make it without it. I won't call it "selfish" but I will call it "spoiled." Spoiled in the sense that our mind today is corrupted with material possessions, competitions and outside appearances, when there are others that find the things we have never thought twice about, so important and valuable.

I try to commit to frugal-ness. I try not to impose "brands" and "flash" onto my children. However, we are put in situations where we have easy access to just about anything that we want. The way we look at what's best for ourselves as well as our children, consists of excessive expenditures encouraged through over-the-top promotions. Do these children have breakfast in the morning's when they hop up to leave for school? Are they able to pack snacks or carry a lunch? Can the little girls dress in frilly tutus, play in mommies make-up, jewelry and shoes? Are the parents able to have a time to themselves to just enjoy one another? Are there fancy resturaunts to go and eat? Is it affordable? Are the things that WE consider affordable in their budget, as well? What would you do if you couldn't afford sanitary napkins when your cycle came on? How would you cope if you had no heat? How would you look at that person next to you if they were the less fortunate one? Had this been us, we would quickly brand ourselves as a failure. But these people hold something within themselves that we "spoiled brats" will never be able to appreciate... a pure heart and unconditional love minus the possessions or achievements. Minus the chicken bologna and bread.

Small talk with big meaning. I think I've said enough for today. Until next time bloggers...

The Real Reason

The saying goes that we women can not stand when our men have too much fun during their male bonding sessions at the bar/nightclub/wherever. I find this to be rather hilarious. I mean, we are all adults here so I don't understand where the jealousy/anger/frustration would fall into place during this scene. It should be apparent that everyone still has a life outside of their relationship. That's great! And very healthy for it to be so. But, I'll get kicked off by saying that this saying just might be true to a degree. I wouldn't say that we don't like it but I will say that some things incorporated within can bring a little frustration to the table and I'll give you a "real woman's" reasons why. Sometimes you need to dig a little deeper to find the root of the problem.

First of all, most women don't give a fuck about their man going out or having fun with the fellas (yes, it needed to have been said like that) As a matter of fact, she probably needs a break from his ass in the first place. But facts of the matter are women usually follow through with a process before having fun. It's called responsibility or being responsible. The number one priority that should never be of short comings is to make sure that home is taken care of. Let's try to prevent some domino effects before they take place such as cheating. To be honest, women aren't hard to read. Ignoring signs of your woman's bad day could be cause for tension. It's been a few days since you have handled the business *wink, wink* which is definite cause for tension. Leaving your woman in the house with a lonely wet pussy usually leads her into thinking the unthinkable (such as: he is cheating or she wants to cheat). Household chores are incomplete, the outside of household maintenance... incomplete, children go unnoticed, the list could run for days. The weekend/night hits, his girl/wife's emotions along with responsibilities are set aside for a latter date. He hit's his lady with a kiss and jolts out the door. By this time, the steam is blowing from her ears, BUT that is disregarded, as well, under his assumption that it's natural for her to automatically feel some type of way because he's stepping out tonight. BAD ASSUMPTION.

Most women prioritize their day. Usually organized down to the simplest of duties whether it's to simply wash the dishes, shave or to go pay bills. Either way, it has to be done and it has to be done today. It doesn't matter that the bill isn't due until next month, she already had her mind set on paying it this month. I'm explaining this scenario so that we can compare how the men carry out their duties. Basically when it comes down to their boys/friends/whoever, making plans, the grown up shit gets put on hold. No time to take care of this because they have to put their efforts into getting ready for tonight. Man goes to work, man goes home, man get's dressed for his night outting. Sure enough, conversation may have been had between him and his significant other throughout the day, however, the conversation didn't cover something that probably was discussed a few weeks ago. Was it really that serious? No! But the point is, she shouldn't have to mention twice. BUT, in any case, she still passively let's these things go... for right now. This here is a good woman, and she tries to be very understanding to her man's needs of bonding with the fellas and whatnot. And let's also understand that while she is being understanding towards his needs, he has not thought twice about hers.

Let's also include children into this equation. You see, bf/hubby has made plans to go out. He probably told gf/wifey before hand, but not once did he consider the issue that he, yes! he needs to be finding a babysitter. Why is it so cool and justly for a man to up and leave at the drop of a dime without considering the fact that the children are his responsibility too? It's called responsible parenting and being considerate of his partner's feelings about what she may or may not have planned for the evening. You see, in most cases, before "ladies night", mom has to assume the responsibility of finding where the kids will be going, whose babysitting and the long list of to-do's that come along with just that one task. Dad may decide that he wouldn't mind watching the kids, but I find that to be rare. So the ladies can't automatically assume that dad is the first choice. Most cases I have seen, dad makes plans to go out, too, once he finds out it's lady's night. But in the case of a night with the fellas, what does dad do? He makes his announcement that he will be stepping out for the evening and he told you of this a few days ago. Usually it's a spring up type situation which leaves her no time to make plans even if she wanted to step out. And if we are talking about a heartless-cold-bastard, then he probably would say some shit like, "I told you what was up, that's on you that you didn't find a babysitter. I'm going out." Needless to say, gf/wifey (if she had plans) probably had to re-alter her entire night due to the selfish load that was just placed upon her back. In this case, you can assume correctly that she has just slipped into "bitch mode".

In the case of most women, everything is taken into consideration before she incorporates her sideline activities with the homegirls. She makes sure that her house is clean, her MAN is fed, her kids are fed, the kids are situated, bills are paid, and she looks good. I would be more than happy to have someone to go down the list with me as to what responsibility the men withold before stepping out with the fellas? It's not too often that they actually stop in their tracks to help out at home before hitting the streets. And it is most definitely not often that they take over what the woman of the house normally does. So with that being said, could somebody please inform me on who the "head of household" really is? (LOL, I thought that was suitable since it is tax season)

When someone's efforts towards the betterment of their relationship goes unnoticed, it really puts a damper on everything as a whole. If lines of communication can't be built about simple matters of life OR if responsibilities can't be shared that was obtained by the 2 partners together, then basically there is nothing left to build on. It's petty to simply argue about the fact that their is more to life than trying to spend every waking moment with your partner, HOWEVER, it's petty to ignore situations when they are clearly in front of your face. Before the next man blurts out that women don't like to see them have fun, they need to ask themselves what are they doing wrong. If your lady is mad, find out why? BUT... we all know that will never happen because they can't go out with the fellas in a funky mood. But I'm here to tell you, the answers that you guys normally come up with are usually wrong. "She just can't stand the fact that I'm having fun without her," is a bunch of bullshit. Who does that?!

Until next time bloggers...

Domino Effect Update... In Rare Form

My Morning
My alarm chimes at 5:15 a.m. with an earful of piercing screams, shouting, "WAKE UP!!" Jumping up in a panic with the intentions to beat the shit out of my phone, I kindly click the snooze button and roll back over to meet hands that firmly grip my tits as if to fit in the last piece of the puzzle. Sleeping with the same man for the last 5 years, it comes natural to be fondled in the middle of the night, early in the mornings or even in the middle of the day. But for some reason, the feeling of these hands, this particular morning, gave me a sense of newness. Something that, of course, I have not felt in about a months time. SMH... I inch in closer to get a better snug in between the bed, his dick and/or his leg. No... it was his dick, Knowing and reciting, to myself, my intentions behind the "Domino Effect", I still draw in to the temptation. I haven't felt this man in a while. A man who could make my pussy throb instantly, with just one quick glance in my direction. Something told me to just get my ass out of the bed. But something else told me to go for the ride. I didn't get up. I felt that if I put effort into assuming the position, somehow that would put ME at fault of going back on my word. With the soft touches and caresses in motion, an insertion from the back, and the sluggishness from the early morning awakening... things presumed to be rather intimate. So intimate that I forget where I lay, what I thought and what I had planned. I knew I had to go to work but I also needed this.... and I got it!

The Point
Feel free to backtrack to the original post of "The Domino Effect" if you are just now joining us. LOL!! I'm sure I'll be refreshing my memory as well. I know that I don't really give updates on anything that I blog about that happens to pertain to my personal life. Probably because the fact of the matter is this is just not one of those type of blogs. I don't have a soap opera life, even though I wish I did sometimes. But I did feel the need to share with my blog family that I re-nigged!! uuuggghhh.... OK, so it was working for a second and I'm not going to come up with excuses as to why I just gave up BUT I will inform you that, simply put, I was horney as hell!!!

Timing is everything. And this might be an excuse but I will still state my claim to you because I fill I have an example to set. Nobody is perfect, lol. I'm still a human being. I just so happen to openly incorporate you guys.... ok ok ok... back to my claim being stated....

SO... timing is everything. My purpose for the 3 month celibacy was so that we could try to channel our energies into other areas of our relationship. With that being said, and I'm speaking for myself only, I think the channeling went into focusing on ourselves. You see, I started working harder and coming up with extra workloads of shit, while he started dieting and working out, on top of his workload. I came up with the conclusion that if in fact, "pending" was not around... I wouldn't be getting "ANY" at all because my life is really hectic with just simple (or what should be simple) everyday living. lol, omg!! Breakthrough!! On that same note, let me just add that it would probably be ok if I were sleeping alone every night, but I'm not and I should probably confess that I abso-toot-ta-lootly loves me some "D". *sigh* with a side dish of the P ;) evey now and again LMAO!! (so random)

Ok with all of this being said, let's figure out where do we go from here. It doesn't put a damper on things. Well, in some cases it does. 1) It actually lets me know that if things were not going to work out for the betterment of this particular relationship, then I probably would be alone because I really don't have the time for an extra person in my life. 2) Now I'm left in a state of confusion wondering how did we lose so much time within these years. In other words, there was a point where, even with the same work schedule, we had lots and lots of time between the 2 of us to spend with one another. Within just this short amount of time period (a month), it became evident that nobody has time for nothing. Or maybe the time just wasn't made. OR maybe we just found better shit to do. OOooRRrrr maybe shit was fine just the way it was and there was no reason to add stimuli to the ecosystem (or something to that nature).

Welp there you have it. I wrote that other post "The Domino Effect" like a straight up "G" too. I had a plan LMAO!!! What can I say? I got needs. smh And here we have some of the other pieces falling into the pile that states, "if you sleep with a person every night, of your sexual preferance, then you are likely to have sex." or maybe that's just me LOL! who knows...

Until next time bloggers... here's to DOMINO!!!

Fascination

I end my days...
knee deep in...
lust...
for passion...
Burning for...
extra flames...
of the essence...
Scents...
of...
bliss...

I accumulate more fascination for love

The in's... and... the out's
Up's... and... down's
sweat particles intertwine
spread love, spread legs, spread my di-vine

I am...
most...
fascinated with the ride

The breathe, blow, and moans
Inhale...
Exhale...
I love you's...
You love me's...
Exchanges of...
soft sentiments, textured skin...
and moist

Dancing in...
unflavored candies...
invisible sweets...
I'm fascinated with love
Horizontal body language
Per-fected...
coordinated angles
Swapping thoughts... through penetration...
instilled deep...
endless holes...
to no end...
Through mouth, through ears... and nose
eyes...
pores...
and what lies below
Undefeatable gravitational pulls
Magnetic energies flowing
Forceful ambition and influence
Lover's synergies and tangled wires
Extract files of... fascination

I'm fascinated with this thing called love

Flowey words to completed sentences...
finished poetries
My hands engulf the squeeze
Compressed emotions...
seep...
out...
Through pens...
papers drowned in ink of scripts lovers want to star in
Dreams come alive
Hearts...
beats...
to the adrenaline push

My fascination!!
For my fascination!!

I am...
fascinated with love.