Friend or Foe

All too often I hear, "females can't be friends" and the friends they do have are only jealous of what they got, how the shit they talk is not advice, it's a bunch of bullshit. It becomes confusing because we don't know if we should call the people that are talking about/to us, our "so-called" friend, a hater... OR, is the person offering the advice from outside the circle, the true "friend" or hater. Hmmmm.... what do you do? A "friend" of so many years is a friend for a reason. Obvious? Right? Because within the closeness between the 2 of you, nothing that has ever been said was given a second thought. Any type of advice that was given was always received as a valuable peice of information. Info that you hold near and dear to your heart because this is the only person that you can trust to actually give it to you straight, let you know what you are doing wrong, and help you to get it right. What some might see/need in a true friendship. No cut cards. Pure honesty and loyalty.

The Intruder
There are so many ways that we can look at this situation. No matter who is talking about who, somebody is going to feel threatened as if their space is being stomped on. We'll call them intruders. No specifics, however, they usually end up being a boyfriend, a family member, or an outside associate... that is, if we are ganging up on the bestie. They have so much to say about your friend: what, how and who they are doing wrong. Accusations that, "she is a hater". That "she is probably jealous of you" and just "wants what you got". You can't expect for no female to give you any good advice. She talk so much shit, like she Miss Perfect or somebody. Now we can look at this from all sides of the equation, however, at no point does anyone meet up in the middle. You see the same way everyone is talking shit about the bestie, the bestie could also be voicing her opinion of shit, as well. BUT... just as much as your friend is your friend and what they say matters, "the family" is moreso like royalty and what they say goes. See the difference here?

The Bestie
Now although, the bestie is technically NOT family (most of the time), at any given moment, we can always give them the side eye look and keep it moving. And just as much as shit can be talked about a "new boo", shit can be talked about the "bestie". So, honestly who wins and who loses in this situation? Now the point of this discussion is to determine whether the bestie is a friend or foe, because of this advice they so often love to give. And let's be honest, it's only because you asked for it. How do you determine if they are raining on your parade or if they are looking out for your best interest? After all.... THIS IS THE BESTIE!! lol We assume that any and everything that we do will always and forever be accepted by your best friend. Because normally, real friends have this unconditional love for one another. Right?! So if and when the bestie is rubbed the wrong way by an intruder, we then are stuck with trying to figure out who really has our back. Are they telling you this because they love you? Or are they telling you this because they hate the intruder's guts?

YOU
Being the man in the middle, you can become a little distorted and confused when you have everyone in your ear yapping about what the other is doing wrong. Seems as if everyone knows what is best for you, what you need in your life, and how to handle the situation. In order to keep the peace, you keep everyone out of everyone's atmosphere. Plan ahead, rearrange, re-organize everything that has already been in effect since day 1. Instead of processing who is really the friend or foe, you avoid the question or dealing with the situation until there comes a point when you are rubbed the wrong way by this friend/foe. Maybe there was something that was said or done that could have possibly got your nose all scrunched up. And now we are having second thoughts as to, would a true friend really say or do that... and the fact remains, does that make them a friend or foe?

Until next time bloggers... is your bestie really your friend or your foe?