Finish school, goes to college and that plan failed. Few years pass, move back home and BAM! it happens. I'm pregnant! Shocked? no... surprisingly. My first pregnancy ever. I was 20 years old. I thought this was the most beautiful thing ever, which it is. Shit I thought I was the most beautiful thing ever at damn near 200 lbs. Even though I couldn't stand the person that was responsible for my "surprise", I was elated with happiness that I could actually be apart of something so spectacular. I had a plan so far mapped out for my little bundle of joy and I that nothing could get in my way. It was going to be he and I and we were going to be unstoppable. Grind mode set in and even though I had quite a few friends that had babies in high school, it was never something we gossiped about in our regular conversations. No one talked about the nights, the mornings, the money, baby daddies... I knew nothing of this world. I was actually in the dark about everything. But one things for sure, I wanted a little boy and I got him.
My pregnancy went by pretty smooth, or so I thought. I went out and bought the maternity outfits and the jumper and all that cutsie stuff. You couldn't tell me shit! I was preggo, I had a glow, and I was gorgeous! My breast were the size of watermelons and being that my latest career change had everything to do with modeling, I never once flinched at the thought of the weight or even stretch marks. At 6 months, I came up with the most unique name that I put so much thought and time into because I decided to sit and read the dictionary one day at work (intentionally on a baby name search). He couldn't be like no other and he was definitely going to stand out. I stumbled across the word "superior". I read the definition and it was everything that I already knew that my son would be. "situated higher up: of higher rank, quality or importance: excellent of its kind: more comprehensive: affecting or assuming an air of superiority." Ha ha!! My son was the shit! Already!! 7 months hit and I have blood pressure issues, edema setting in, preeclampsia diagnosis, organs shutting down... but I was still gorgeous LMAO!! I felt fine. But I was rushed in to be induced at 36 weeks on the morning of March 11th, 8 hrs of labor and he was here!! Superior plus a whole line of middle names consisting of history and meaning. Jay's son (Jay'Son) which is explanatory for itself, Jay being the person that makes me wanna puke. And Lee, a long generation starting as far back (that I know of) with my Great Grand-father, Arthur Lee, his son Arthur Lee, and my 1st cousin Jared Lee, then I had Jay'Son Lee. Pretty cool, huh?
Through my days with my "Stink", I thought to myself that I wouldn't mind having all that I was going to have right then and there, back to back. I only wanted 2 more, but the next go round, I would definitely make sure that the co-creator would be someone that I really liked, for real. Maybe even love. It did but it didn't turn out that way. I found someone who I loved and found that planning for a planned pregnancy wasn't as easy as it was for my surprised pregnancy LOL! In the time period of those 5 years, I found out that I had endometriosis which basically meant that I wasn't suppose to have children anyway. My Gyn threw everything at me with threats of hysterectomy, you better get it while the getting is good, you don't have much longer to procreate and on top of the fact that I couldn't take anything consisting of hormonal release (ie. birth control) it still took me (or us, rather) 2 years to get pregnant. Oh my!! what a difference. I thought I would be beautiful all over again with the sexy glow and my enormous boobs and whatnot. Nope! I was fat, huge and only cute some of the time. I didn't like showing my stomach to my partner whereas with Superior, I would damn near throw the thing at you if you wanted to cop a feel or sneak a peek. Planning for a boy, this pregnancy in no shape, form or fashion turned out to be anything that I wanted it to be. I was depressed, sick, tired, emotional, and this little stubborn knot only wanted to lay sideways which meant that I spent my months with feet in my side. It's a girl!! which explains the stubbornness and now it's time to rethink these names.
I never figured I would be having a girl, so my naming skills for this sex was horrible. I had to take myself through a whole new thinking process and come up with something that would sit just as high up there with Superior. Don't forget now... my kids are the shit! LOL!! I came up with
Empress, Celeste, Gabrielle (which was actually a male angel) everything that I could get from a Biblical standpoint, but it didn't have that ring to it. I did the dictionary thing again and no luck with this one. Finally, I set back and thought about a name I had came up with years and years ago, back when I was preggo with Superior (my just in case it was a girl). "Blessing", another word I had looked up in the dictionary that I felt would be suitable for a first child, if it was a girl. "A thing conducive to happiness or welfare".. perfect! This is my 1st girl and after the sequence of the delivering process, she really lived up to being just that because here we go again with the preeclampsia! Talk about a sneak up. One day I'm going in for something I thought was minor (legs having a tingling sensation) and then the next thing I know, they are calling me back to the hospital with my transportaion ready for take off to a bigger hospital. Who knew?! I could have died on the table, stroked... my blood pressure was out of control. C-section this time and 3 weeks earlier than Superior. December 30th, and we spent our New Year's in the hospital which was actually the first time that I had set eyes on her. 15 minutes before the New Year set in. I made it, she made it at a whopping 3 lbs 4 oz. She spent about 2 weeks in the hospital with them expecting her to be in there until my actual due date, which would have been beginning of February. She came home on the same day that my partner and I had met, January 19th.. the day that she hit her marker for 4 lbs. LOL!! Blessing, Tone' deriving from her father's name Tony and Geneva after my grandmother and my Great grandmother (both), another history in the making.
No lifestyles of the rich and famous here. No reality shows of Will and Jada, which I'm sure everybody would love. No "Cribs" or "Pimp my Ride"..fancy fruit-fruit wedding cakes, Sweet 16's or any of that. I couldn't even begin to front about how overwhelming life can be with the different courses we are given. One things about it, I wouldn't trade it for the world. These people have really made me the person that I am today. Your whole persona changes, your whole outlook on life, you get the good with the bad and in the end, you win big. I have my days when these kids are bad as hell!!! O M G!! But what mother doesn't? I also have plenty of days when I couldn't imagine going without kissing their faces and squeezing them, hearing them say "I love you Candi" (yes, they call me Candi.. smh, all my mother's fault) waking up to little hands, long legs, sippy cups and cereal in the bed. This was only the beginning. Next run will be how we got from the start of the race to maybe the halfway point which we are nowhere near. Whoa is me! LOL!! I struggle to get my life in order for them and I have to work 3 times harder because it's not just me anymore, it's me and 2 other people. I take pride in my hurdles that I have jumped because without them, I couldn't bore you with how the life of an average woman takes place. I can only amuse myself with the new found hobby of blogging and give you what I consider to be my Superior Blessings.
Have a good one bloggers...
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