VS.
Being an ass-kisser, brown-noser, Dick Rider, cheerleader, a non-mutha'fuckin factor... I'm sure you get my point here, as well. LOL!
AND... there is a thin line between the 2.
If there is one thing that I cannot stand... that is a bitch, who is a professional dick-rider. As a matter of fact, that's going to be her name throughout this post, lol. Keep up, my fellow followers. Now, not that I am talking about anyone specific, or I could be... "Dick Rider" is a female who just so happens to be friends with a male. Any male. You all could be mutual friends, or random associates that just tend to socialize because you are in the same place, at the same time. This could be an associate, friend of a friend/male counterpart, secretary, assistant, client, employee, cousin, sister... yes, it could be anyone, from a random acquaintance, to a dear family member.
Now that we have that established, let's run through really quick what "Dick Rider's" job description is:
Objective:
To swoon all over your man with high hopes that when the 2 of you go to bed at night, all he can think about is how greatly I rode him with all of my bitchified anticdotes. To receive ego-boosters, in return, so that I can build my self-esteem. To become a professional dick rider. To be the first one called on when the wifey is acting a hot mess. To always be the one to understand, no matter how foul it is.
She has a duty to fulfill. She has to over-exaggerate every comment, compliment, or random sentence that is being said to the "ridee". Normally in dealing with this situation, because men can be so naive and they absolutely love ego-boosters... they don't recognize the fakeness behind it. Because let's face it, doesn't riding a dick feel so good?! Not only to the rider, but to the ridee, as well. And it all may not be pure fakeness. They could be legitimate compliments or comments being made, however I think one compliment would do enough justice. But this bitch is a pro. "Dick Rider" will ride his dick in rain, sleet or snow. She will stand on the sidelines and cheer her ass off. Make t-shirts with his name on it, get a tattoo with his name on it, probably even ride his dick, for real, if she could get close enough. She wants to be recognized for her efforts. She absolutely has to be great at everything she does because if not, sure enough she fear's the chance that she can possibly be replaced. We may find more often, these people located at our place of work. They want to be the one that has the most work and the first one finished. Running around like a chicken with her head cut off, as if someone's life absolutely depends on it.
What is her motive behind all of this extra work? Who knows? If you ask me, I say the bitch has low self-esteem, she needs to feel apart of something, this is how she get's her rocks off. My suggestion would be for her to just go get gang-banged into the Bloods/Crips, and they would love her just the same. *shrugs shoulders* what? Knowing that she could possibly be your man's best friend (said in a sarcastic way)... WHICH WOULD MEAN: she has one up on you. She will always be apart of your man's life whether the 2 of you make it or not.... okay, moving on. Knowing that she could possibly be your Supervisor's favorite: she will always work her way out of the fuckery that she fucked up and receive every 'request off' date she's ever asked for. She contains a rare effect that not a lot of people have... TIME!! and no real hobbies!!! As long as she is sitting still, she's coming up with new ways to lube up, slide on and ride, yet another, round. And a professional, she strives to be! Who knew someone could give 52 compliments in one sentence? LOL! But who am I to steal your joy?
Until next time bloggers... enjoy the ride!
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