Laundry Day: Trust Issues

I can admit that I am/can be a weird quirky type of person. But let's be real here... name a person that doesn't got some type of shit with them. LOL!!! So, I figured I would come with a load of laundry today and see if we can somehow get a clean up/breakthrough on where my trust issues derived. Whose with me!!? *crickets chirping*

So today class, we'll begin with the bullshit trust quotes that people like to preach: "If you don't trust me, then you don't love me", "if you don't trust someone, then you shouldn't be together"... blah, blah...blah, blah, blaaaahhhh. LOL! I find this to be false in some cases and in some cases, not. It all depends on the type of trust that you lack, the situation, and whether or not it interferes with certain aspects of your life. Am I wrong or do you believe that trust is trust, and it doesn't matter what direction it flows in or what we are referencing?

Does not everyone walk around here shouting, "trust no one", "don't talk to strangers", "always keep a bullet in the chamber"? Seeming a little far-fetched?! Well, it's not. Because these quoted lingos come from the fact that somebody, somewhere has some type of trust issue. Why not talk to a stranger? When you first meet someone and start dating, were they not a stranger at one point? And this is instilled in all of us at youth. And with that being said, that usually leaves everyone approaching people we do not know with an automatic shield. Why would you/should you keep a bullet in the chamber? Just in case, right? It's because you don't trust the statistics of what could possibly happen at any given moment. Right?! Trust issues!! Can I get an AMEN!!! lol Damn! I'm good.

OK, we're suppose to be talking about me and MY trust issues. No problem. "Class, my name is Candi and I have trust issues.... it all started when..." ~insert flashback effect and dreamy music here~ ... LOL!! Who the hell knows. I've never been the one to let my guards down, even though I can live my day to day life like there is not one care in the world. I always have an extra eye opened for any and everyone. EVERYONE. No exceptions. And I'm sure that everyone has lived just as much of a "normal" life as I have, so I won't bore you with in-depth situations that I have conquered. But I can say that my main trust issue stem from expectations of people, myself, or events. I expect for the worst to happen. At all times. I know, I know... you can think things into existence. I'm not sure that having this type of mindframe waddles around in plain view, however, my first thoughts are usually, "it's probably not going to work out as planned".

I usually continue on with my day/life/event or what have you and pace myself through everything as if I'm blind. So after confessing this, we can all assume that this does lead into some very problematic situations from time to time. I am the type of person that is willing to try anything new. I am open about myself and very honest. As a matter of fact, I'm a horrible liar. I accept change very well. What can I say? It's in the Aries bloodline. You RAM the bullet before the bullet rams you. But know that through any transition, I'm never comfortable. I stay away from planning ahead. So, to make it sound a little better, I guess you can call me spontaneous, maybe even impulsive. It's like I foresee the future and the future tells me that I'm heading for disaster or disappointment even though it may pan out to be an awesome adventure and ending. I speak when spoken to and I don't usually hide much of anything if the question is presented correctly. Does this effect relationships? Somewhat. But not to the point where it interferes on a daily basis to the point where we just can't get along. I have selective vision and hearing, so I'm a master at tuning shit out. I'm not the bragging and boasting type because I always assume that too much attention on one thing can be snatched at any given moment. It is safe to say that's the part I look forward to. Not because I want it to happen, but because, that's what I expect. I live in the moment, not for the future. Because the fact of the matter is, the future is not promised to me either. So why bank on that? Left with yet another disappointment. Expect nothing and you'll never be disappointed.

And there you have it... my laundry day for today. Trust issues!

Until next time bloggers... trust no one ;)