I and the "pending" was watching some horribly formulated sitcom, we just so happened to stumble upon on Netflix. However, the comedy incorporated in the scripts are hilarious. The name of the show was "Raising Hope". In this particular episode, the family (the son who is Dad and his mom and dad who are the grandparents to Hope) was given this bright idea that they needed to create a Will for Hope in case one or all of them die suddenly. In other words, who would take care of Hope?
NOW... Let me give you the scoop on my background. I learned at a very young age: think before I speak and to also forewarn people ahead of time, if they do not want my honest opinion, don't ask. Of course, there are plenty of people in this world that still disregard my messages and never take my awesome advice. This leaves me the room to NOT have to say, "I told you so" or "you shouldn't have asked if you didn't want the truth". I'm usually always right. I just try not to rub it in people faces ;)
TO THE POINT... "Pending" ask's me, "if you were to die, would you consider giving Blessing to me?" LMAO!! (on the inside) along with a quirky looking face (I kinda felt the way my face muscles intertwined) given off. 5 years together? He already knew what that answer was and I didn't even have to open my mouth. The question had already went in my brain and nestled in for safety and comfort, to never be transformed into an answer or released. SO, the master plan was to not respond and to continue eating my little snack pak (chocolate pudding! I'm trying to quit smoking. lol Don't judge me) But of course, like your average "normal" being, they insist on an answer on top of the conjured up "defense mode". My response was, "you can't do what I do." Maybe I could have came up with a better answer than what was given but that is my point for forewarning to not ask me a question you don't want an answer to. I don't know how to sugar-coat shit. OR you could say this was my sugar-coat but as you can see, that didn't come out too well. And with that being said, he had this look on his face... a "taken back" look like, I can't believe you just said that. So, I felt like that was my que to just shut up. I did my part and answered the damn question, you would think. Nope! It goes on...
Him: "You are making it seem like I'm not a good father and I don't do what I'm suppose to do."
Me: "I never said that."
Him: "How do you figure I can't do what you do... then it went something along the lines of calling out things parenting consist of ... so you are saying I'm a bad father?
Me: "I never said that. You are a good father BUT, are you a good mother?."
Him: "Well, damn..."
Me: Explanation goes along the lines of explaining how "mothering" is a lot deeper than what is seen on the surface and me ending my conversation with, "I would happily leave my child with your mother."
OK, there is no need for me to ask if I was wrong for giving the answer that I had given. I'm never taking it back. Had I felt that he had an ounce of maternal instincts or could kick into gear with his feminine side without hesitation or feeling the least bit ashamed, then I would happily ordain him the sole guardian of our daughter. I worry more about my son. Only because his case is rather different, however, I've never thought twice as to where my daughter would be. I don't worry about her because she is a "survivor", like me. Straight up "beast mode". She fear's nothing and she make due with what she has. NOTE: only a mother would see these qualities in her child at such a young age. I don't knock any single father's raising their little girl. It's no different than a single mother raising her son. But at any given rate, there comes a point where you have to be in touch with your transgender role in order to make this thing work. In my 28 years, I haven't seen too many men (boyfriends, Dads, Uncles, brothers) who are ready and willing to go in the store and buy pads or tampons, bras, undies, contraceptives, hair barrets/supplies/perms, make up, polish. See the picture here? Not saying that they don't exist because for your information, so that I don't seem so biased, MY DAD bought me my first training bra.
My Worriation... comes into play when shit gets shitty, how fast can you process what needs to be done? What type of "thinker" are you? Are you smarter than a fifth grader? No. Seriously!! I mean, if you have no other means of support, backbone, female friends... what the hell would you do? Even generally speaking, no specifics of a particular sex, would you be capable of matching up to my Super Hero abilities? YES! I am claiming that one. What do you do when there is no hot water? No electricity? A scarcity of food in the fridge? Blood on the sheets? How do you teach a little girl how to put on a pad? How to insert a tampon? Good hygiene? How to battle yeast infections? First fight? First ass-whoopings? First love? How would you cope with a child who still wets the bed? Picky eaters? What do you do when you are not feeling up to par? When life is kicking your ass and you feel like you have no motivation left in you? What do you do when your friends are out here having the time of their lives due to their lack of responsibility and you are stuck with responsibility? Do you pawn your child off so that you can feel free once again? Or, do you suck it up and take your bitter with the sweet as we "natural" mother's do? To incorporate all of this in a nutshell, do you feel that you could be the "real" character that which Will Smith played in, The Pursuit of Happiness? Do you even know what goes on when I lay in the bed with them at night? Are you willing to offer your hand for them to hold until they fall asleep? Are you willing to watch Yo Gabba Gabba, So Random, The Upside Down Show and listen to dreams of being apart of Mindless Behavior's dance group? Can you offer compassion and solace in their time of need? How much time are you willing to sacrifice? Dates? Aspirations? Careers? Money?
Think Fast!!! If it take's longer than 5 minutes for you to process some shit, then it is not a good idea for the child's life to be left in your hands. If your first response to a situation is to run to your mom, close friend girl/girlfriend, or your best friend... you can still presume the same; unfit. You have to be able to think on your feet within a split second. Within that same split second that it would take you to switch out your weapons on XBox's Call of Duty. The same split second it would take for you to respond to your boy in distress. The same split second it would take you to pick out the new boots by Ralph Lauren. There is no sum up for this post. I stated my facts and I'm sticking with them. But now that the thought has been brought to my attention, I really need to get in order where my "after lives" would be after my life has ended.
Until next time bloggers... where there's a will, there's a way?
2 comments:
I feel you on this one here. Men, the ones I know, usually can not take on the responsibility. Yes, some can. But, most of them have been so spoiled. By the time "GO TIME" happens they would be sitting around looking stupid.
Exactly LB! And I definitely wouldn't want to leave my baby behind in an awkward ass position, as if shit wouldn't already be bad enough for the mere fact she just lost her momma LOL! smh. I know the look her dad gave me the first time I asked him to make an emergency run for me, so I can just about imagine what my baby would have to go through. On top of you can't keep order in a household from the back room playing a video game.
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