I Don't: Marriage Only Complicates Things

I have reached a point where all of my "marital-wet-dreams" are slowly subsiding. I love watching WE TV, Dave Tutera and all of those other girly shows. I even confess that I will shed a tear or two when it comes time for their special day. It's not that I think marriage isn't for me or that it will never happen (tooting my own horn, I am far beyond wife material). My opinion is, this marriage game involves matching and I just don't see a match that can and will be able to stand up to my abilities to treat me the way that I would treat them. Well... clearly speaking, (tooting my own horn once again) I keep things consistent. So, it's not necessarily meaning I won't get the same treatment, but the fact that people tend to lose consistency. Even if the love and "forever yours/mine" feelings are there. Let's also add to my list that everyone reaches a point in their life where they become settled in their own funk and really don't want to have to change for anyone else. If companionship is what this is about, I can do companion. Not to mention, everyone needs their space from time to time. I'll even wear the matching rings to make a statement if that will make you feel better, LOL. But why create such a huge rukus just to say a few words, probably pay a shit load of money that, I'm 100% sure, could be put to better use and to sign a couple sheets of paper making promises that aren't kept or even understood?

For those that envy the married life and/or incorporate this into their life goals, can call me ignorant, naive, selfish... whatever. I am more than equipped with enough intelligence to know what it means to get married, be married, or wanting to get/be married. I understand the vows and the union. I even know the history behind the ceremony and what symbolizes and conjoins the bond between the 2 people. The laws... according to the Bible, that which are hardly ever being followed in this day and age. For starters, try reading http://www.fmh-child.org/NoMarriage.html So, with that being said, it's kind of hard to preach your faith in God and "keep God first" when that is the part that brings it all together. A God given privelege that somehow has been incorporated within a company (the United States) that basically holds rights over you and your partners heads anyway. Where is the love in that?

It's all really endearing and sweet but I don't feel that I could formulate the trust worth putting into another person to perform this little ritual dance that supposedly combines two people in such a "supernatural" way. Whose to say that they feel the absolute same exact way? Because if a marriage ends in divorce, somebody was never on the same page in the first place. Even if it's 20 years down the road. I've quoted in a previous post before, "people don't change, they just become more of who they really are." SO... tell me when do you really know when you are done growing? People grow apart, begin to want different things, have different outlooks. It's only because of marriage that I/anybody would have to make extreme considerations just to include the next person's thoughts/comments/concerns/opinions. The relevance of this is I don't feel like adjusting/conforming to a person over such a great time span. Tied to a person because that is what you are "suppose" to do. I'm tied to my kids, I think that's enough. Adjusting to a whole other person who has their own set of opinions and funky ways that they have settled in... I think I would rather do without.

I met the cutest couple ever, on my job. Well in their 80's, from Texas, and have been together for close to 2 decades. They are so into one another and you can tell by small joking passes between the two that they have a very healthy sex-life. lol They go out, have drinks, travel and do all sorts of things. And get this... they aren't married!! They are very happy with the way their lives are going too. She has her own home and he has his own home. How they go back and forth between who stays where, I have no idea but they emphasized the fact that they can still hold strong to their independence, their "own", and aren't "technically" binded to one another. I get it!! I like them!! LOL!! And it has absolutely nothing to do with their ages. Getting married would only complicate their status, Hell! Their entire lives. Everything that they have worked hard to build on their own. Their very own foundation for themselves and their family. No debates of who gets what when I'm gone. NO "because I have this, you have to have it too's", or "because my name is on this, your name has to be on it too". Marriage helps to gain in certain situations and deprive in others. And once all is said and done, you're still struggling to keep a whole other person intertwined with every little single thing that goes on in your life. Even after you are dead. That's if your marriage even lasts that long. Whew! Now I'm tired.

People think they lose their freedom once they have kids... shiiiittt, you lose your freedom with anything that ties you to another being. People incorporate marriage on their to-do list because they are at a point where they feel they have done everything but that. As if it's a simple country you just so happened to decide to visit. Then, you have kids, work some more, and go see your maker. I want to spend the rest of my life exploring every possiblity of what's counted as "an experience". Married life is not an experience, it's just a name that brings boyfriend and girlfriend into unison. I want to be free of the "conformity", having to answer to people and making other's happy before myself. My kids complete that part of me. It's good to share laughs and giggles and shit with another human being, but I don't feel it necessary to have to be bonded to them in order to share these experiences. If friends can do it, then so can lovers. A big ceremony is not necessary to show my appreciation to my bestie, so why should I have to lawfully take someone to show my love and appreciation for them? Just call me MRS. FreeSpirit. I'm creating my own laws.

And until next time bloggers... I don't