He Loves Different

I was sitting the other night, in my "think-hard" sitting positon and came up with the wackiest shit someone could possibly think of: Maybe he just loves differently. First off, I reflected on past relationships, flings, and fucks and began to compare (something I never do) the difference between them all, what was going on in my life, at that moment, and why it never worked (not that I wanted any of them to) I'm pretty happy with the fact that none of them made it this far. I'm quite sure they are happy with it too, considering I was always referred to as an evil bitch Mu-hu-hah ha ha ha ha!!! Anywho, none of them were the same. Not even the slightest bit of a resemblance from sex to dick size to personality or even how we connected... absolutely nothing. I could have sworn that people are sorta-kinda attracted to particulars or certain characteristics in a mate but I couldn't find nothing that remained consistent on this timeline of men throughout my years. I do love eyes and can point out the significance of the ones I fell in love with. That's usually what drew me in to those that I probably settled down with for whatever short ass time span. The eyes are what tell me your story, no need for questions. However, I can't say the same for those who were, as I called them back then, my hoes. LMAO!!!

Ok, let's get serious. I guess when you reach this age where you want shit to be right and "of the norm" and blah, blah... you begin to think about how you recovered from your past and what it is that you look forward to in your future. (and let's just say, I'm not your average girlfriend, but we'll get into that on another round of SSC) Now I have repeated a numerous of times that I am not marriage material because of the simple fact that I have "Trust Issues". I also said that it would only complicate things, in which, we can also link this back to my... "Trust Issues" LOL!!! But, when you think back to what felt like love, at that very moment, you're a little puzzled as to what drew you into this particular state. You know? The stae of being in love and/or wanting to be married. Of course, everyone loves differently but is that an excuse to give in or submit yourself to whatever ailments overcame your relationships? Is it worth it? I guess this is where the statement comes in, "you don't know what love is". But when I compare this person to that person, and that person to this person, it all, still, felt right at that moment. Arguements and fights, cheaters and schemers, he say/she say or lies... but deep down you know the love is still there. Is this how you are suppose to love someone? Or should we pull out my self-appointed Psyche Degree and figure out why it is that you do certain things that most people shun away from relationships, but still claim to love a person? I feel that some people have an addiction to fucking up or either they just take for granted the type of love their partner has for them. No matter what, he/she knows I love her/him... along with, she know's where my heart is... or the good one, we have an understanding, lol! Have you heard any of these?

So we set standards now... I only want a man who does this, I only want a girl who does that. But, is that being open to the fact that years down the line, he or she may not do this or that anymore? And with or without it, don't we know the love is still there? or isn't it? I loved you because you loved me this way. I loved him because he loved me that way... where are the similarities in the 2? And instead of letting go, you fight for what once was. If your standard says that you only want for someone to love you a certain type of way and these are the things that they have to do in order to prove themselves, then I guess we can all call you a hypocrit... or myself LOL!!! But I have no standards, other than common sense, consistency (which always fail) and some type of income and a monsterous head game lol!! No complexity to me whatsoever. The truth of the matter is, he loves different. Different from what you have seen, heard of, or even felt. And when in doubt, the problem may just end with you. Now you have to ask yourself, what love are you willing to accept? Because, at the end of the day, if you are still lingering around with hopes that past love or even hopeful love will resurrect on your clock... I hate to tell you that you're setting yourself up for disappointment. It's different, so accept it for what it is. Or carry your spoiled ass somewhere else and find whatever the hell it is that you are looking for.

Until next time bloggers... I'll always love you guys, even if I don't write everyday.