Usually, I have heard, my first impression comes off as the stuck up snooty bitch. I like it! I'm a people person, however I do not like to be approached in any type of manner. So new faces tends to keep their distance until I open my mouth and spread my charm :) No one would have ever thought that back in the day, I use to be the same chick that we all scorn like the same woman who wore the "Scarlett Letter" on her chest in front of the whole town. No! not adultery but I did receive every bit of my 15 minutes of fame every time I came out on stage to show how sexual I could be and to create the illusion of what it is that the man really wants without the "lights, camera, action" bid. The diversion of being a conservative woman was never hard. I was never into the itty bitty mini skirts or the mid-drift shirts that revealed that tiny hole that was less than a mile away from the real entrance that could take any man to a blissful state. Where I obtained the confidence in my sexuality? Who knows... but I liked it, every bit of it. And the fact that it was suppose to be this big secret was even better.
If we read up on the history of how women came so far: not being able to wear pants, can't show your ankles, can't show your face, no dresses above your knees? Back then... I commend the women who took charge of themselves and became liberated for the new generations ahead to also become liberated. Yes, in some cases it has been blown way outta proportion and I am definitely not here to pass judgement on whoever. However your boat stays a float is all fine and dandy but in this piece, I'm going to tell you how mine stays a float...
I am a commited, loyal type person, that is, if you can get pass the stuck up part LOL! High school was cool for boyfriend/girlfriend experimentations and whatnots. My college days, the world of relationships somehow disappeared out of my universe and I was moreso on finding myself. Let me explain, the newness of meeting "just a friends" or "friends with benefits" started to become exciting. Met a few that I liked and a lot that I didn't but I loved the experience that I gained from my wide open-ness. In order for me or us to even get to that point, you had to have big enough balls to even speak to me in the first place. This all became a game while in the meantime, outside of the bedroom, you would think that I was very focused and commited to my school work or my job or whatever was going on in my life, in which I was and still am. This goes for then and now. You get older and you still get to a point where you realize that you have nothing to lose anyway but to gain another noodle on your brain so the things that you was afraid to try then are the very things that you are actually doing now.
Love-making, sex, fuck, intercourse, mate, doing it... a whole line of different ways to describe 1 thing. It comes with different positions, different locations, different protection, different faces, and the the list grows among us. I don't believe in hoes, I believe in sexually liberated human beings that freely approach their addictions with full force and no shame. LOL! I love attention, but I only love the attention coming from the one person that I should be focused on at that given moment. Yes I cook and clean, take care of my babies, pay my bills, all of that grown up stuff. But my extracurricular activities come to play once all is said and done in the real world and then it's time to bring my fantasy world to reality. Let's do it like Pinky and Mr. Marcus one night, or let's try this new toy I seen on this infomercial the other night. Let me digress back to my stripper days and pull out my stillettos and my garter belt, turn the bass up on the equalizer, pump the volume and let go! Or how about we role play, "I'll see you at the grocery store on aisle 3" ;). Come sneak a peak at the park, go lay a blanket in the path of those tall weeds on the beach, maybe even light some candles and try and play out those grand love scenes that we see in the movies. Why keep your choices limited when you have so many to choose from?
The "power of the pussy" (thanks to Jessica Holter) could take over this world. The needs, wants, fantasies of all humans could be an endless mind rush. But I, in my notes, like to think that I have succeeded at fulfilling all desires that "My Man" has ever hoped for. I put that in quotation because back in the day, what I perceived to be a fuck was just that and no extras were added, however, my relationships consisted of the double living standard. They look like ordinary people, they have kids, they work... but I can put on my makeup, look in the mirror and won't even recognize myself. Damn! that bitch is bad! I create the illusions, mastered the tricks and techniques, threw out the old missionary and brought in the new anal, conjured up the courage to try the unthinkable. Sex with myself, sex with my man, sex with my man and ... ahh-hah! you would like to know, wouldn't you?
Create the illusion and master it. Dream the dream and concure it. You could actually use this in any life situation but an overload of wants and things that you try to avoid needing can be overwhelming and leave you in a state of "shudawudacuda". For some odd reason, it was the parents job to make this "fun" seem like the most devastating thing that you could endure. Now you tell me, when you are in the heat of the moment, what could possibly be devastating unless you poot in your partners face by accident while you are receiving (and I'll use the correct terminology, lol) cunnilingus. LMAO!!! My kids are too young to come with the "real deal" questions but I pray that I can come up with some real explanations that aren't so blunt that make sense at the same time. And I know what type of person I am, so I definitely do not want to scare them. lol... I like the fact that I can portray an image like the "Leave it to Beaver" family. Family outings, grocery shopping, all while in the back of my mind I'm trying to figure out if I'm gonna wear the stringy thongs or the regular ones and to make sure I stop by Bath & Body works to pick up some of that Blackberry Amber lotion and body spray. Who would have thunk it?! But I'm sure that we all would be surprised by what happens behind closed doors even by the holiest of people.
For 2 people to be able to come together and create such a huge ass tornado of sweat, friction and emotions is like magic to me. So I take pride in my love potions and give off the scent of what a real woman should smell like. If the man is what you are worried about? then you need to understand that it's really not that hard to please one. Unfortunately they want someone like their momma during the day and someone like Janet Jack-Me at night. If you were raised in a household full of women, like me, then it shouldn't be hard to present yourself as a woman and to give off that mother role. However LADIES!! It is up to us to get in the know on how to become a free spirit and not be so uptight about the things that make us feel good as well as the man that we say we want to keep. If it's not comfortable to you, then don't do it but we all know what the first time in anything is like. If it swirls like a merry go round in the back of your head non-stop, I say go for it. My aunt told me "if you think long, you think wrong" lol. Just go for it. This is how my boat stays a float and always have.
Alrite freak'ums... until the next time...
1 comment:
OHH WOW, THATS ALOT TO THINK ABOUT
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