What the fuck is a Holiday?!: Trials of a Mother Part 2

If you clicked this post, you are probably in disbelief. I should be coming to you with happy thoughts of Christmas cheer and wishing 'Happy Holidays' amongst my fellow bloggers whom I do not know, but I know is there. I should be dancing in the Christmas spirit and getting more and more excited for my babies to open their presents. Well... you can cancel that bullshit! I'm a plain 'ol Ebeneezer Scrooge. "Bah-Humbug" People only see this holiday as a time to spend money. No one takes note of what the real celebration is for. And I lost all sight of that, myself, once I read somewhere that this particular day really isn't Jesus' birthday. But we're not politicing about that today.

Seems like my learning experiences always work in the manor of learning the hard way. Not by choice either. And boy, am I learning that motherhood is a job and a half. Shit! I'm the fucking CEO of a career that they have no type of college education for. You should have to earn a fucking degree to be a parent. We need one for everything else, so why not? Single mother, I mind you. I can't put on fronts for my babies that we got it like that, when in fact, we defintely are far from it. I can't pretend that they will get every single thing that they ask for, or any of it for that matter. I've instilled in myself to never make promises and that my word is my bond. So when it comes down to talking about Christmas and the possibilities of what "might" be under the Christmas tree, I usually steer clear from that conversation and into another direction.

I always hoped to do the things that my mother did during Christmas. Single mother of 3 and we spent every Christmas like the rich and famous. She was so organized with it. Early shopping sprees and wrapped presents up under the tree from the beginning of December. My sister and I would drool with anticipation for damn near a whole month. Wrapped presents labeled from her and the toys from "Santa" were placed as if he had came down the chimney himself, come Christmas morning. Man! Those were the days. We did that "American" family shit. Baked cookies at night, wrapped presents in the expensive shiney papers and used real ribbons. Not the dull premade bows that came in the bags. We took our own family Christmas pictures, played games, and then go to bed like good children should so that Santa would come. Surprise! Surprise! We didn't get everything that was on our "Christmas List", but it was like the ones that were picked were of the most importance. By the time all the previous excitment was over, we didn't care too much about what we did have or didn't have, we was having way too much fun. We looked forward to the holidays. Traveling to DC once school was out or her bringing Christmas to us in NC. Wherever we were, it didn't matter. This is the woman that I have to live up to?! Really?! You have to be kidding me!! We'll see how this 2012 New Year Resolution work. Oh yeah and to work on not cussing like a sailor. Random thought but I have a horrible potty mouth. LOL!

Talk about a hustler! I work all year for a pay that most would probably consider allowance. However, I make it work without the welfare and let's not talk about benefits. What the fuck is a benefit? LOL! I work on these holidays with no complaints. So, for the past 3 years, I have not spent one Christmas morning with my babies. And let me tell you a secret... that's not for the time and a half that should be applied once you hit that time clock. I can see your faces now, lol. Trust me, I've been looking for another "prison cell" to clock in to for the past year and half. However, I hold strong to my faith and at the end of the year, I reflect on how I made it and thank God for getting me and my 2 this far. That's my Christmas present. I am truly blessed.

But, at the same time, a mother's work load can really take a toll on her life as well as her family's. You go to work, you come home, you prepare meals, you do homework, attend practices and try to spend some happy time together without falling asleep standing up (which I have done, true story), or getting irritated with the busy-ness of the kids. And let's just pray that you have enough strength to make it to the shower to wash your ass. So, technically, you never really clocked out.

While on the forefront, children don't understand how life works. Honestly, it's not for them to understand. They are suppose to be enjoying the time that they have before reality slaps their little asses around, chew them up and spit them out. God only knows that I want the best for them, however, it is really hard to instill humbleness in children who have everything that they could ever want but still want everything that they see. The promotions that run across the tv screens in this day and age holds so much weight. Far more than what they did at the time I was a small child. Mothers brand their children with designer clothing and shoes to make sure that they look better than the next child. LOL, and I can't talk shit about anybody else because I do the same. I do the same and yet I know at the end of the day, I'm going to need that same $100 that I just kicked out for a pair of shoes for a 7 year old. And get this, my agony doesn't stop there. My daughter's birthday is 5 days after Christmas. Whoa is me!

For most 2 cent providers, they would probably give me the run down on how to spend my money and dwell on the fact that my babies will just have to understand. I don't need your advice. Most of them people that carry that 2 cents in their pocket are out here doing the same thing that I'm doing and their situation is probably just as bad as mine. Well... I can't say mine is all that bad. My bills are still paid and my babies always look great, LOL!! Superstars have to stay camera ready! ;) But the point that I'm making is, what is all the damn commotion about. This is all for a friggin' holiday that only makes the CEO's of those namebrands richer and the less fortunate, broker than they have ever been within the past year. It's worst than the lottery. Most people aren't even guaranteed to get their bills paid on time due to the fact they are trying to make sure that their children have just as much as the next child. SMH... everyone is ass backwards if you ask me. And after all of that, people start itching for tax season. Let's not forget they have to make up for the bills that were left unpaid.

So, here's to you and yours. How is that for a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! To those that don't celebrate either, Happy Holidays (whatever the fuck that is) and mucho mucho blessings to all. I really mean it! From the bottom of my pockets.

Until next time bloggers... be merry and broke!