Up 4 Discussion Presents...

Black Blogger's Reunion

It's a cookout!! Come join the Up4Discussion family as we vibe over good reading and the thought of smelling them steaks on the grill. There is nothing like great food, fun and family! Oh yeah... and a good read.

So here's the deal. I guess since we are all either sitting behind our PC or tuned into our phones while vibing to this mix, it wouldn't hurt to just settle for a turkey sandwich.

Enjoy!!!

Black Blogger's Reunion

Until next time bloggers...

Beauty and the Beast: Manipulator vs. Enabler

Mind-Fuck-ER vs Mind-Fucked UP is really what I wanted to title this post. But I figured that probably would send everyone into a conniption and I didn't want to come off so abruptly. I do try my best to stay in a steady monotone. LOL!! But I have to admit that when I came up with these thoughts the other night (while under the influence), I found this shit to be rather humorous (have ya'll noticed I laugh at myself quite often?) on top of humiliating because I have seen myself in the enabling position. While we are on this subject, as you read along, make sure you map out the qualities in your own characteristics to rule out that this is not you. Let's get right into it. This post might just be a long one...

Here, in the left hand corner, let's begin with the wack ass Manipulator/Mind Fuck-er/the Beast. What a fucked up ass individual!! The manipulator is a control freak, the bastard/bitch that rocks the cradle. They all have this suaveness about them; master minds behind the art of convincing, persuation, and being a heartless ass. The smoother they are (because they have been doing this for years) the harder you get fucked (in the ass. no lube) They have a way of using "swag" (I hate that word) to receive anything that they want out of you, whether it's your pussy/dick,  your money, your time, your fucking common sense. Notice that I said RECEIVE and not TAKE. Once you have been talked into adding Satan's name to your bank account, you basically began to feel the wrath of, "you-have-gots-to-be-dumb-as-hell-syndrome". I'm just saying. These people are so conniving, that they will offer to help you and then re-route your whole thought process into you doing it yourself. They use their hypnosis abilities (the mojo) while you are awake to con you into believing that you are the one with the problem. They are attention whores. But not just anybody's attention whore... they fiend for your attention and then in turn make you their whore. They will hit you with some quick-slick shit so fast, that you won't know who/what kicked you in the ass; all while denying the whole thing some days or weeks later, making you feel like you have just lost your cotton-pickin' mind. "Well maybe it was your fault?"... that's just the mojo working on you. Whatever it is, just remember it's your problem! Not theirs. (that's the mojo talking again)

Manipulative people can seemingly be very affectionate, caring and understanding. All while you have no idea that you are being swooned out of whatever it is that they are in need of or searching for. You serve one purpose and one purpose, only. That is to be their bitch. They have the power to make you feel guilty about shit that belongs to you (your car, your house, even your mind) or not being able to provide for them whatever they feel they need or want (or not need. it doesn't matter because you're going to do it for them anyway) These snakes have the power to over-power an entire room with their ignorance and spoiled brat anecdotes. Before you know it, this fucker has injected their venom in you where you find that it's too late to take the proper precautions to suck and spit. smh. Guess where their asses are? Off manipulating someone else or either partying without one thought about you or the funky mood they left you in. Their excuse sounds something like, they had to get away from you to clear their mind. While they're getting away, you are still spinning in this tornado they created. They have no responsibility when it comes down to your emotional stability. Don't forget, that's YOUR fault. It's all about them and you either get wit' it or get lost. Once it's time to kiss and make up (on their time) they'll tell you what you want to hear and then replay this footage all over again. It's a constant cycle. Only cure is to get up and get the fuck out!

Now that we have established what your partner is, let's talk about what you are. The dummy Enabler/Fuck-ed Up. And honestly, there is no beauty in this. But first, let's depict the difference in being helpful and being an enabler. Helping someone is due to that person being unable to do or complete a task on their own. They need help. When enabling someone, you are doing something for someone (voluntarily because you're under the mojo) that they are completely capable of doing their damn selves but they choose not to because they have your dumb ass to wait on them. You are effecient with scheduling and organizing their agenda. You just have to be the dependable one because if not, the mojo this person has on you can easily send you on a Grand Vacation to Guilt. You just can't say "NO" or you will feel like a failure, incomplete, unaccomplished, OR guilty (of course). And honestly, that's not the case at all. Once again, it's the effects of the mojo. No doubtingly, you are good at what you do, in which is probably why you are the chosen one. BUT... you are also vulnerable and could be ruled out as a punk, gullible, or even weak.... lol! Never confuse these feelings with being in love. It's a very thin line. Just keeping it 100. But, really, it's not that you are that much of a softee; you're on the mojo and you're made to believe that you are doing your part for the community; giving back., trying to be a helping hand. But in reality, you are being conned or a nicer phrase may be, "taken for granted".

Promoting the manipulators behavior only makes them a bigger ass. This means that you are the contributor to those butt shots. I know it doesn't seem that way, and this may be a tough pill to swallow; but let's just be grown up about this situation, take heed of the information and own up to this bullshit you created. If you can't say "no", then you are their number 1 hype man. SO, all some of this is partly your fault. You're the "yes"-man and people with genuinely, kind and giving hearts are always the first to be preyed upon. Your helping someone just may not be helping the situation. The only thing that you are really doing is feeding a flesh-eating ego and you are the peice of meat. The ego processes this information and commence to bouncing you on your strings like the puppet that you are. But accept the fact that you will never.. ever-ever-ever-ever receive the same amount of work, effort, or respect in return.

So the only thing left to do is to turn on your BS tracker to know when you are knee deep in bullshit. Once you've gained your sanity and common sense back, sit back and look over YOUR situation: cause and effects, trials and error, stupid is as stupid does, etc. etc. How much money you have lost, time wasted and what shit you have to show for it. In this thought process, the bullshitter does not matter. If you are more afraid of what condition this asshole will be in before you are worried about your position, then you are an enabler knee deep in the shit!! Normally, enablers failed to realize that there is even a problem. I call that situation "D-E-N-I-A-L". And when you are that deep, you need to call in some heavy-hitters that's going to give it to you straight. In the meantime, regardless of the situation, keep your BS radar on at all times. You will be surprised at how many wolves hide in sheeps clothing.

Until next time bloggers....

Useless Information: The Joneses and Dem'

Based off of assumptions, the "Joneses" were the shit! LMAO!!! So being the "thinker" that I am, I had to find out who these people were, so that I can see how and why they are so notoriously famous for.... hmm! whatever it is that they are famous for. So I did what I do best at work, nothing  googling my ass off to find out, who are these "Joneses" that everyone speaks of? Much to my surprise, I find out that they are... nobody but NAMES in a comic strip, "Keeping Up with the Joneses". The "Joneses" were a figment of the main character's, in this comic strip, imagination. Although they lived next door to them (assumingly), they didn't even know who the "Joneses" were and somehow, characters that really weren't even characters (but had a name), were more famous than the main characters based off of assumptions being made. Geez! How about that? LLS!!

Clearly, Arthur R. "Pop" Momand, the author of this comic strip tells us in a sublime form how cliche'd life is and can be. There had to be a reason why they never met the "Joneses" and why shit always, somehow, got fucked up when trying to imitate what they assumed the "Joneses" to be doing. You still with me? How are you feeling now? lol. Anyways, the main characters were made out of asses for the entire 26 years that this comic strip ran... too busy trying to keep up with the damn "Joneses". I'm going to get to my point, but I had to school you on this history for a quick second. So here they are looking like asses, while the "Joneses" are doing what? EXACTLY!!! You don't know right? LLS!! I swear I am the shit!!

Now, let's tackle some reality situations here. In my opinion... and this is just my opinion, there are lots of things that can and should be done in moderation to achieve a particular image, if that's what you strive for. I just don't see how someone can want something so bad that they are willing to sacrifice the necessities to get what they want and really don't need. I sit back and watch people around me who continuously flaunt their definition of glitz and glam, while in the meantime, there are other people that you just can't front for because they know your personal. Let me give you an example:

There was this girl who began working for the same company I work for. Now, I don't go out often but I had just recently went to a comedy show and seen her there. She's not cute and really jiggly, but not really fat (if you can draw a picture from that) Either way, it looks really sloppy, but that's besides the point. Her hair was done and she had on a cute outfit, nice shoes, makeup done... the works! You would quickly be under the assumption that she got her shit together. Right? Well once she began working, the pigeons start talking. For some odd reason, I'm the go-to person and it's probably because they know I stay to myself, although, I am really friendly. So one ear was filled with, her lights are off. The other filled with, she doesn't have her kids because she can't afford to keep her utilities paid or food in the fridge. I'm thinking, how can you not keep food in the fridge if you receive foodstamps? I couldn't resist asking. She sells them to go get her hair and nails done so that she can go to the club. Really?!??!!

I wasn't sure how to process the information, but right before one of the pigeons flew away, they tweeted out, too busy trying to keep up with the Joneses. And although I had heard this figure of speech more times than one, it kind of made me wonder, "who are these people?!"



I find it really hard to believe that a drink and a 2 step outside of your humble abode can be any more comfortable. Maybe I'm just a little overly pride-ful about things that I have worked so hard for. Pretending to be someone that you're not or someone who doesn't even exist, goes far, far beyond simple imagination. Not only are we ALL getting weighed down in a world that is clearly unaffordable, we're getting lost in debt and the real reality of life when it starts to actually kick your ass. And that bitch can fight!!! You fell behind on your bills because you just had to have a bottle of Ciroc. You couldn't afford that new alternator for your car because you just had to have a new outfit to attend the concert. And where you lack the necessary, you lack common sense because with or without this flashy bullshit that everyone keeps chasing after, how much more broke or stupid are you going to look with eviction notices plastered on your door while you are sitting in the dark? You find most "Jones' "chasers screaming, "you only get one life to live". Well that is true, but the last thing I would want people to remember about me is how I spent many of my days trying to fit in or be included. That my cause of death was due to stress because I was not able to pay my bills... but nevertheless, I was the life of the fucking party!! Nope. Can't do it. The Joneses can kiss my ass.

Until next time bloggers...

Sleeping With The Enemy

In all of my 29 years, I have been sleeping with the enemy. I allowed things to get extremely out of control and contorted. There is no law against my scrambling thought processes, but something tells me that there should be. I keep thinking that I'm continuously apprehending myself within these failing relationships and becoming a self mutilator with my horrible choices in judgement of character. Passing out too many benefits of the doubts. Once we hit the end, I'm secluded in yet another dark hole where I'm trying to find my way to understanding what the hell could I have done wrong this time around? So am I suppose to start out spiteful towards new prospects that could possibly be my future husband (NOTATE: possibly, but more than likely never) or should I just continue to let my guards down and prepare to die once again. Yes! It's just that serious. I thought that if you give respect, you get respect in return. Or that you treat people the way you would like to be treated. Scratch my back and I'll scratch yours? All or nothing? You never know how cruel people really are until you are left looking stuck repeating the words, "but I thought you loved me? It's me!!! Don't you recognize me?" You don't do that to the people that you love... or at all. Then again, maybe that's just me. I love different. And the same way that the meaning of marriage has become extinct, I'm starting to believe that there is no hope for this play-play word that people keep throwing around. Love? Bah-humbug!! I don't know what it means anymore and I don't think I really care to find out at this point.

I don't need a man to validate me and I'm not sure what I am missing. I came to work this morning high on coffee and rummaging through my filing cabinet of thoughts like an insane person. I instantly became fed up with myself as if there was something to really find, and I know it's right there but I can't put my hands on it. "Who are you?" And why, at the time of pure bliss when in love, does no one just duck and run for safety? It's addicting! And dumb-dumbs like me keep going back for more. That is AFTER getting brutally murdered for having a carefree spirit and the ability to love hard or go home. I guess you can say that I set myself up for my trust issue dilemma, however, I'm still in a rat race to prove that no one will ever love as hard as I do. I don't want to always be right. Prove me wrong and I will truly be happy with those results. I wish that I could say I have had at least one relationship where I was genuinely happy or treated with the utmost respect. LOL, now, that sounds like a boat load of shit!! Honestly, I don't even think that it is possible. Not on my watch, anyway.

When you leave things on the floor and continuously walk around them, it begins to create clutter until you can't maneuver any more. I am a hoarder. I hoard my thoughts/emotions and whatever else that puts me in a state of vulnerability. Easier to write about it, then to say it and so we are here... Sense So Common. I don't deal with my emotional problems head on. I feel that there is no need, because if shit is already in Stage: Bullshit, then I'm helpless and everything is pretty much out of my hands anyway. I'm so use to disappointments that nothing phases me anymore. It is impossible to avoid a brick wall that you are already on the road heading straight for in full speed, y'know? My expectations are of NO special standard and me ever loving again is a very unattractive thought. From being cheated on to being verbally and emotionally abused, to being straight up non-existant in the eye of the beholder (lol), used up, lied to, lied on, pissed on, shitted on (not literally. for my slow slang learners)... What else you got? Place a check mark beside that one too. And for those that know me really well, this is where the evil Candi (that so many people like to bring up) comes back to life. Retaliating and vengeful thoughts whirlwind like tornadoes and hurricanes. But I'm not so sure what to do with that or how to handle it, so I stay out of sight. I'm not even sure what that means because I am not the vengeful type. I try to consume myself with work, kids and the homefront because I don't have practice on dealing with the problem. I admit, my thought process can take me on a most awesome roller-coaster ride which leaves me hurling at the end. But after vomiting so many times, why continue to wait in line for the next go-round?

I'll continue to pick up my guts and insides that got hung on picket fences and drug along the streets, and try to peice them together as best I can. I don't have a clean up crew for this one so I'm pretty much on my own, in which I have always been. I always wondered how the hell could people get so far in and end up being left at the alter? Stressing over dates, times and venues when it was only a distraction to get you off their back so they can bail out on your ass without all the extra. I laugh at myself for getting caught up in those fairytale dreams. Making sure that the love of my life was happier than I. I thought if I gave you everything that you wanted, we would be okay. Notice that I didn't say "great", I said we would be OKAY. Is that even acceptable? I'm still trying to remember who I am and where I came from. My memory seems to be a little cloudy and my tear ducts are currently out of order and have been for a while now. They work kinda like a fart. You feel like you got to, but it just won't come out. What better way could I have put it? I should be swimming and drowning myself in all of my glories with these exciting new things happening in my life. I am happier than I have ever been before. So tell me why does my nest feel so empty? I am every bit of how the saying goes. And although I use it quite often, I guess it just hit me that I really am my own worst enemy. It's even worst when you realize that you can't just hop out of the bed with this one. There is no running away from yourself. And it would be really retarded to actually try to analyze your past filled with people that YOU invited into YOUR heart only to have it kicked and detroyed. Did I paint a pretty picture for you? I think I'm done for today.

Until next time bloggers...

Interview With The Mistress: Whose Winning?

Branching off my post from a while back, Flexible Pussy: A Man's Sideline Hoe, I decided to be hands-on with the "Mistress" being as though this is, and can be a very touchy subject. Only because everyone has an opinion or feels the need to pass judgement. But what works for one person doesn't necessarily have to/is suppose to work for the next. You can agree or disagree and this is why we are all made differently and not alike :) To be sure that this experience was full-throttle, I delved deep into the abyss of the motives behind it all. I needed to know her views on herself and the situation, how she felt about being with a married man for 16 years + baby, and why she's content with it all.

The initial meeting of these 2 people began as cordial, friendly-passerby type dialogues. There was no immediate confirmation that they were "looking to have an affair" or even looking to hook up, for that matter. Common sense tells us that things don't JUST happen. But, common sense also tells us that things do GRADUALLY happen, while we also understand the time span in between. So whether we are speaking of a line of communication that had taken place for 30 minutes before we got down to the nitty-gritty, or whether we are speaking of years worth of relationship growth before getting down to the nitty-gritty; here we are well over a decade later, plus baby. Confirmed platonic friends first. Initiation of seriousness later. The fact of the matter when dealing with this scenario is NOT how long the OFFICIALS have been married or what the problem is within their marriage, what they do/don't have together, or whose lacking. And although we all look forward to the fidelity and commitment within our marriages professed before God and our partners whom we chose to spend our lives with, what is there to complain about when everyone's needs are being met? This includes the Wife and the Mistress. I married you because of this... this... and this. Under these circumstances, I fell in love with you because of this... this... and this. How can I be so content and happy when you are cheating on me? How can I be so content and happy when you don't belong to me? So with all of that being said, if no one is losing, then whose really winning?

Mistress made it clear that their "family" is a most particular one. He plays a role as "acting husband". Affirmed agreements on what bills he is to pay (no he doesn't live with her, not even some of the time), conjoined banking accounts, exchanging of security codes and social security numbers (lol), confirmed vacations for the lover's, bonding time with their family as a unit (she has 2 kids before him (adults) where he is acting Dad for them, as well), household and automobile maintenances along with household rules. It's a life complete with every woman's dream husband. Someone who can complete a job of many men, in a timely manner, minus his presence on a 24/7 basis. Let me not forget to mention that she makes it very clear that their sex-life is awesome. She wants for nothing, never have to ask twice and he has learned and processed her in's and out's. I guess we could line that up on a level of being soul mates.

I dug deeper, in order to understand how this situation can pan out so perfectly (in her eyes). So keep up readers because things may become a little confusing from this point, if you haven't already given the slant eye. Mistress lives her life as a single woman. She and their child live alone. Let's not mistake the Mistress's "acting role husband", for a real husband. If we are paying attention to the technicalities of the situation, then let's note that he is only binded to her because of child. Now with all of this being said, Mistress is still free to do whatever she wants at whatever will she pleases. Carefully omiting herself from any type of relationship other than the one that she has already committed herself to. How can we consider her to be cheating if the man she has spent 16 years of her life falling in love with, is married? Careful not to consume her conscience, time and ability to maintain, with the thoughts of commiting adultery, she continues to persue a normal life just as if "acting husband" doesn't exist. But, only to a certain level of degree. She knows that she could never become dependent on the idea that he would one day belong to her, while in the meantime, it would be useless to complain about nothing anyway. Because, as I stated before, all her needs are being met. It doesn't matter that there is great precision in the timeline of events that states they will soon be hitting a 20 year marker. If the shoe fits, wear it.

If his homebound has no complaints and his time is being disparsed among his wife and their child, as needed... along with the fact that she didn't leave him once the revealing of the new baby... then what's the problem? Apparently, the wife is not lacking at this point either. If there is no drama, why create any? And if her needs are being met, then why complain about nothing? There is no arguement. Only the factor that she knows there is someone else, but can never put a finger on how and when he could have time with anyone else if his time is never missed at home. Everyone is happy and he's not so drained to the point where his household duties (both homes) are becoming a burden. In a sense, none of the events taking place is really a secret. Everyone is comfortable. So everyone is winning!! Right or Wrong?

If I know about you and you know about me, but we both choose not to budge.... can anyone tell me how I'm wrong if I'm happy with the way things are? EXAMPLE: If you are at an awesome paying job, that you are ultimately satisfied with while others are continuously telling you that there has to be another job like it, when in your mind, you know their may be but why leave a place that you are happy and comfortable with? It handles all of your expenditures and you're not stressing about living check to check and the benefits are glorious. Is where you work really that much of a bother to other people that are not paying your bills? I'm sure everyone is screaming marriage right now. Ok, that's your arguement. But you all know my views on marriage... no paperwork, ceremony, or oath spoken whether in front of the entire Universe or God is binding when it comes to 2 people... promises are made to be broken.. yadda, yadda... the list could go on. But I'm ready to hear from my audience. So whose winning?

Until next time bloggers...

Sexual Frustration Rambling

There was this post I wrote a while back called "Ego: A Man's Best Friend" where I talk about how men need validation and love to have their ego stroked and fed. Everyone loves compliments here and there, but there is a difference between accepting a compliment with humbleness and letting it go straight to your head on an ego-trip. Some men egos are so big that they should probably have a name for it. I know that I have bragging rights in certain areas and so do most others. Everyone is special in their own way, but I don't feel the need to brag and boast about whatever it is that I know I have ultimately over-achieved. It's for me to know and you to find out, that is... if you even make it that far. Let's also not forget my lovely, lovely ladies. I love my men-folk first (of course), but I've had an encounter or 2 with women where they totally forgot the concept that, "a woman knows what a woman wants". And I begin to think, "what the hell am I suppose to do with this (her)?" Kind of defeats my whole motive for being bi-sexual, y'know? lol! Geez! I aim to please. I found out a while back that my sex-game is a hidden talent (ego-trip, LMAO!!) I just hate to give her/him all of this extra-ness and I get's "half-ass" in return. So!! I'm being stingee (spellcheck, stin-gee lol)

And how about this shit here! Did you know Sexual Frustration is a real condition?

So I was staring off into space this particular day, pondering on some past and present moments, and I began to realize guys really love to talk about their Mr. Winky. How magnificent they think it is (or may be) and we can even include performance. Women love to talk about how sensual they can be and love-making. At least, the fems do. Not too sure about studs. No offense, but I like girly girls. Anywho, to be honest, if you really think about it, you only know about yourself what people, you have interacted with, tell you. You observe others reactions, collect responses, insert data here, and you apply it routinely because it seems to work out in your favor for the most part. Right?! So I'll go along with your game. Ok bae, I understand you know how to fuck and you can put it down good (at least that's what you're telling me because that's what the last 2 girls told you). But let's be realistic and also notate that whatever works for them, may or may not work for me. So the question is, do you know how to fuck me? Because I am me and they are them, which means that we are nothing alike. Duuuhhhhh....

I swear I can over-think a situation until there is nothing left to think about. Yes my dearests, this is how bored I was or maybe my overly concerning issues with being single after 6 years on top of the frustration. My attitude is fucked up completely, LOL!! And even though I don't mean it (sometimes), I have found it to be very easy to shoot down a man's ego. Not intentional, I just say what comes to mind first. I mean complete murder. Sorry fellas!! But it only usually turns out that way after I have reached my impatient marker. Some men just don't know when to stop talking. I'm usually submissive when it comes to the ladies. But, moving on, my thought process went a little something like what was discussed in random conversations being had that lead up to having sex (past and present). Who bragged and who didn't, and if they really did have the rights to brag or not. Then I began to think, I'm getting old LOL!! and conversations about sex probably shouldn't even be had. It seems a little lame. I'll go along with it for a minute, at least until my ADD kicks in. I can understand (not really) younger people bragging about what they do, how they do it and what they got (newbies, *roll eyes*)... but I don't understand how mature adults continue to have this conversation with future prospects. Because the last 10 girls you fucked, liked being put in the "full nelson" and then being contorted into a pretzel all while she sat on your face, at the same time. I'm sorry boo boo, that's not going to work for me. So while you school me on what it is that you got and how you did it last week, let me school you on how I like it. Take notes first. We can discuss how it worked out for you later ;) And it always works.

Sexual frustration can have me a little irritated and antsy, all while the last thing that I need to hear is, "you ain't had a piece of me, yet." *rolls eyes, again* Oh Jesus!! in that case, I'll pass. I wonder how this journey is going to pan out. I imgagine that it will be a most hilarious one. Considering the fact that I haven't had sex in a month, I'm about to explode. I hardly consider oral enough to get the job done either. I don't care how many times I bust. Yes stinkers!! Whatever you are thinking, that's what happened, and that's it! It's possible. Guess some people get hungry at the oddest moments. Oh well!!  I think I have shared enough with you today. I probably could go on, but I would rather not. It's only going to piss me off even more. So I'll get back to pretending like I'm actually doing some work since I'm on the clock.

So, until next time bloggers... relax, relate, and release

Up 4 Discussion Presents...

Sizzling Sexy Ways to Spice Up Your Summer Love

Here we are discussing one of my most favoritest topics in the whole entire world. Loves, loves, loves the sex!! LOL!! Let's see if you can spark a flame with this one and be sure to come back and tell me how it went. Because if there is anything better than sex, it's when people overshare their sexcapades. My ears are always open!

And I just had to steal this picture from J and post it here because I oh-so-love it so much!!

Be sure to check out J and the rest of the Up4Discussion fam, including moi. Be sure to leave your questions, comments and concerns in the comment box. And enjoy the good read!!

Kisses fellow followers!!

Until next time bloggers...