How common is common sense: Phase 1

I had an epiphany, I believe started yesterday as I was walking through the store AND THEN I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Today I want to list some scenarios that just crawled under my skin for whatever reason and how common sense should play a serious role....

First Case Scenario: It's been a rough couple of months and I have yet to get this financial budgeting bullshit down pact. I'm so far from where I need to be and nowhere near where I'm going (lol) make sense? Anyway, school started last week for the kids. Everyone goes through this whole big ass commotion over new clothes for school and who got the hottest sneaks and outfits on the first day. I admit, I fall in line to an extent. I do belive in starting off the new year with a fresh and new start, but to go through the whole fashion law book for a 7 year old who is going to wear these fresh pair of Jordans out before Christmas gets here, I think it's a bit much. I'm walking through the store looking at Rocawear shirts that cost $27.99 and Jordan windsuits that are $40 bucks a pop. These are actually good prices given for namebrand items and compared to what they really cost in the real stores, however, what the hell makes you think you can still afford the shit? You would have to buy a shirt each paycheck or maybe that's just my paycheck. I have bought 2 outfits for my son for cheaper than $27.99 or right at it. This is crazy! So I begin to think, who the hell came up with the whole idea about having to buy new clothes for the first day of school? I say give their asses uniforms and call it a day. It's not like you are buying a total of 180 outfits to wear each day that they are there. They will be in new shit right on up until the second week of school and then what? You bring out the old shit if you haven't already. And don't forget, the items we consider to be "school clothes" are precious. We all have heard, those are your school clothes or shoes, take them off when you get home or don't play outside in those new shoes. Well... why the hell not? Geez Louise... here I am in a state of depression for meaningless material bullshit which never meant shit to me but somehow I'm projecting it off onto my babies... talk about a hypocrit....

Second Case Scenario: I make big deals out of small things. Let's focus this subject on Pop-Tarts. My babies loves themselves some Pop-Tarts. This is a must have in the house, especially on school days when Superior pops up out the bed. He's a busy body and doesn't usually sit still long enough for anything.. so the Pop-Tart suits him just fine (although loaded with sugar, something he definitely doesn't need) Anywho, this particular morning, I looks in the cabinet and there is one Pop-Tart in there. I bought 2 boxes over the weekend. It was okay for this box to be gone, however... where was my backup box of Pop-Tarts? So due to the hurricane, we all camped out at our other house where the other portion of the immediate family lives. I called that morning to find out if the other box had been left there. The answer was "no". Ok thats fine. I coordinated the last Pop-Tart in with his clothes and such that I lay out every morning. Had I had another Pop-Tart, it would have went into my daughters bag and off to the sitter she goes. Well I just hooked her up with some oatmeal (which is another essential) for breakfast and off we go. I hops in the car and here is one of the Pop-Tarts being eaten like it is the best meal one could ever come across. Not that I didn't have the money to buy a $1.00 box of Pop-Tarts or $2.50, depending upon what grocery store you shop at, but I had already made something readily available for my babies. A plan that was mastered at the beginning of last weeks week ending, and here we are at the beginning of a new week and my plan has failed. My eyes widened like, this is my babies food and you are eating it when I specifically called (at 5:50 a.m) to ask was they left behind... Need I say more?

The average, most naive person would read this blog and read only about the material and not the common sense that we all should have about the situation as a whole. Material possessions will always stick out moreso than most factors of life. When, in all, it was never about the material... it was only about the thought in itself. Either you have common sense enough to understand the title and the story behind it or you have a lack of sense and how much kicks you can get out of it because the focal point of a big situation was on a minor material possession. Now let's see how much of an understanding one can gain off what they would think in the little peon brains of theirs about the situation as a whole.. I bet they wouldn't be able to get pass the fact that what LOOKS like it may be the subject matter, really isn't. You don't find too many people in this world with a deeper level of thinking. Everything will always be on the surface because what you see is what you get, right? LOL!! I won't answer that question. No matter if you answer and include a definition with it on top of an example.... they still won't get it.

No one can really say that they KNOW me. I don't usually speak my mind about a lot of things unless asked and even then, I sometimes don't answer because I already know that it's not going to make much of a difference. No one usually takes heed to how they have such a huge amount of effect on the next persons life whether big or small or how well they know you or not. No one ever looks at the BIG picture. That's where those sayings come to play "think before you speak", "actions speak louder than words", "think before you act" all of that shit. I am highly observant, overly emotional, and a down right bitch when it comes to the smallest details that I feel make a hell of a big ass difference in my life and especially my babies. Usually where (a lot of what most would consider to be) "common sense" would or should take place. I'm one of those people where if you mention something and I know I can help or I know that it can be done, I just do it. You wouldn't even have to ask. Common sense! I don't offer, I don't lend, I don't ask for cash back and I'm so in tuned with what you already have going on in your life that I have mapped out a shit load of scenarios on how to make things better and workout for you IF I play my part (which I remind you, was never assigned in the first place) I merely used my common sense and decided to take action. And where I get things confused is expecting to get the same treatment in return. smh

I think that I need to go to a seminar for learning to say "no" or to project off the uncaring and selfish ways that other people never realize themselves doing. Purposely and continuously have the "ditzy blonde" moments so that nobody would just automatically expect the good out of me or to even have sense enough to realize exactly whats going on around me. *whew* and this is just Phase 1. I'm sure I will experience a plenty more of these "lack of common sense" episodes... everyday, it happens more often than anyone would ever have the time to sit back and replay the scenario. Actually come to a realization that just by using even the smallest amount of common sense about certain situations, it could actually be a wonderful preventative measure towards making life a hell of a lot easier for both you and me.

To be continued...

And He Said....

He said...
Babe,.... I appreciate you
your intellect, your style, your smile
the smerks on your face, even the frowns

I'm just..... loving your warm and grace
And I appreciate your hello's, your goodbye's
your mad face, your sad face
your straight face, especially your glad face!

Love how you just tinkle sprinkle the salt on my food
tap the bottom of the pepper shaker when it's acting so rude

I appreciate the expensive soaps
Dove and its.... extra moisturizing exfoliates
the music in the background, the drum that beats to every step
as you.... clean house (laugh)
parading with broom in hand and.... the dust pan
and I chokes from the intoxication of inhaling clorox, the pine sol and febreeze

Then...

breakfast in the morning

and I appreciate my.... eggs scrambled with cheese
turkey sausage
french toast
maybe grits....

Then he said...

I appreciate the no-elbow-room at night
laying up under me, snugged in so tight
in the crease of the bed and my back
nose in my armpit...
cuddling and giggling to nick at nite
George Lopez and the Nanny?... only you
But I appreciate
the morning breathe
quick flashes of flesh from the bed to the bathroom

I appreciate you for appreciating me
Knowing when I'm down, at my best, and right... in... the... middle
for reserving a piece of your brain for me
excepting my faults and ignoring the flaws...

forgiving my crimes

I love that I can... appreciate you
I appreciate that I can.... love you
and you love me

because without you I would be so unappreciated... so he said

Rehabilitation

Cutsie headbands to ponytails
Cornrow and braids to long hair and polished nails
Transitioning plumped breast and coochie smells
Creator of life and egg cells
Popped cherries and love roller coasters
Life wasn't mapped with step by step guide me posters
Mothers embedding obsolete notions
Fighting to forestall the path to life's devotions
Rehabilitation is approaching

Vandalized intellegence
Depleted hearts of zealousness

Brutal expressions of love addictions and lust
Mangled nerves and pieces of flesh left in the dust
Encountering serial killers of success and trust
Rehabilitation is a must

Subdued physiques as you waltz through the parade
Learning to laugh and smile in the rain
Unmarking the left behind stains
Cleaning up the messes that have been made
Living, laughing, loving through the pain
"Rehab me" lies within my frame
Mind over matter untieing me from dysfunctional brain waves
Finally overcoming and breaking off the chains

Prospering through the hella hot
Amazingly I held strong to my spot
Commence to putting misery to a complete stop
Unclogged arteries and no blood clots
My veins are free of plague ... no tear drops

The course has been complete
The curriculum of life was a successful defeat
No more confusion, shame or retreat

Redeemed esteems
Underneath the spotlights, smiles beam
Glitter to gold to platinum gleams
Rehabilitated through allotted fire and hot steam
A completed woman's finesse and unveiled inadmissible dreams

I can be the ultimate
Accumulating the cult of it
Reorganizing, inventing and learning to cope with
My rehabilitation  was the notion!

The Breakthrough

Oookkkk, by now we all know how I like to tell my stories! LOL!! I have to tell a story of a story to get to my point. Weeelllll... the other day I had taken the time out to skim through some other blogs to see if there was any other blogs that would be interesting enough to follow. Of course I had been searching over some time period but no luck had hit UNTIL, one day I ran across My Man Wars.. Uncut! and I loved it!! Everything about it. But there was one in particular that spoke of the real meaning of "commitment" and this is where I had my breakthrough.

Ok so when you think of "commitment" or "committing", we think of being in a monogomous relationship with a faithful partner, no infidelities. Basically, it's you and your partner providing each other what most other friends in your circle can not. We all have friends (and I am meaning generalization.. male and female friends) but a b/f or a g/f is merely a friend that for some reason spark emotions and fires that your other friends cannot, or at least that's not what they was put there for. Anyways, you "talk" for a while, things get serious.... you argue for a while about who has the strongest feelings and then you finally come to the conclusion that this is what you want. You commit to one another or at least thats what you think you are doing. To Commit is to put in to charge or trust; to obligate or pledge oneself. So we really think we are doing something, huh? Well, I hate to bust your bubble but we're not!

No one stops to think in depth about what you are actually committing yourself to, what you are pledging or obliging to do. We think we are committing ourself to this one person who we are trying to love, already love, or are in love with but it goes far deeper than just the skin. ~FLASHBACK~ in this blog's story, she told of a married couple that had gotten into an arguement and the wife decided she would leave. Well the wife get's to her parents house and the mother tells her that she needs to go back home. Not because she didn't have the space or not because she didn't love her daughter dearly. It was because she was suppose to be committed to her marriage, flaws and all. That's what she chose to do (get married) and indeed, she went back home... to her husband. Must I say... this really hit the spot for me, because I will admit that I am very good at leaving. As a matter of fact, I am a fucking pro! However, I have never had anyone to tell me to go back home, so after this, I'm going to begin to question myself whether it's a good thing or bad thing. Guess it depends on the circumstance. Ok off subject, so anyway, let's think about what we are committing to. And we are not just talking about the person. If we are looking deep into the core, we find that we are only committing to the good times, when things are going just peachy, when the sex is great and there are no arguements and no one is walking around like their shit doesn't stink, kid's are good, there's a rainbow everyday, it never rains, and the temperature is always at a comfortable 77 degrees. This is what your committment is based off of. This is what my committment was based off of (my breakthrough)

Now I actually commend the people that live for the drama filled arguements back and forth-without leaving-everyday couples. They have a whole new line of respect from me. We all know that it doesn't feel good to get your panties all in a bunch, and stuck, and stinky (Lord knows if they stay there long enough, they eventually cause hemorrhoids) It doesn't feel good to hurt the one you love or for them to hurt you. But you have to stop and think to yourself, is your committment strong enough to keep the 2 of you together? Because when you committed yourself to this person, even if you thought that nothing could ever break this love apart and you will never get into any fights because the 2 of you were made in Heaven's bliss for one another, reality is reality and nothing is perfect. As a matter of fact, you felt that way only because the love making was spectacular last night. Very shallow thinking but it's the truth. You should be committed to the fights, the wars, the hard times, the past due bills, the financial instabilities. If this is enough to break a relationship up, then let's be realistic here, it was a bullshit ass relationship to begin with. This is the relationship that was based off that pegasus flying in the air over the rainbow.. .well I shot that bitch!! and I watched her ass fall from the sky and land head first in the dirt.

Talk about a breakthrough! Committment to the drama? The core of conflict? The love that produces pure nonsense? Everything that I have been talking about that I was never committed to. I don't know whether to say this is wonderful or if it's a total crock of shit because what's done is done. So it's safe to say that I was committed to the dream. I was committed to the happy days. I was committed to the struggle, backed up bills and so forth that came about, however I could not and refused to committ myself to bullshit (or what smelled like bullshit) So where did we go wrong? Even though I felt my heart was there, all in with no regrets, never cheated, never even thought about it, dreams of weddings and such... then why was it so easy for me to leave and to not "committ" myself to the fight? A night that completely broke me in half because it was I  who chose the door first, like usual? (no this wasn't the first time) This is like a game of "I'm gonna get you first". Even if I had of stayed, would it be the same or would I be in the category with the couples I was just talking about? Go to sleep mad and wake up fucking... wow! This is really causing for a pause and a smoke break about now..... AND WE'RE BACK... soo I wasn't committed? Un-be-fuckin-leivable!! Just when you think, after all this time, you were putting so much into something but you weren't doing shit. I am appalled!

And in today's lesson class, we have learned what? To think thoroughly what it is you are committing to. Of course, we all know that we are supposed to take the time out to get to know the person we have sot googly eyes on. We have to be in the know. The for real "know" about someone because usually within less than a  years time, which is usually how long it takes for someone to decide to be in a relationship with the person they have been exclusive with, at some point, some type of shit will be brought to the table... bullshit that is. I wonder is it safe to say that you were fully committed in the beginning to have made it so far? Or is it safe to say that you were never committed, even in the beginning, because it still didn't last as long as you thought it would? This is when you thought that the 2 of you should go ahead and get married tomorrow since you were already honeymooning. Boy are you in for a whirlspin! When it becomes so easy for you to turn your back on a situation and not commit to the problem at hand, then you have to know that without your committment, there is nothing left to work with. It's so easy for people to commit to their closest friends, or the next level of Madden, their kids, family, jobs... so why isn't it that easy for you to commit to a random person that you share so much more in common with than just you both liking the same color or tv shows? Wouldn't you rather put up a fight for the person so that you could continue to watch those shows together or was it better to watch them alone before you met that person? A state of confusion is what I am in but you live and you learn. So I can do 1 of 2 things with this breakthrough. I can take it, learn from it and hope that I can fully commit myself to the real life situations that we all know comes about every now and again OR I could take this bullshit and say to hell with it, I'm not committing to no damn body anymore.

This is really a tough pill for me to swallow because when after committing to whatever has been going on, when do you say enough is enough? I have committed to your bullshit ways, your habits, your whatever may have been going ons and then what? Do you wait for the person to change or do you think you can stick it out for however long forever is and claim your commitment? And when someone asks you are you committed to your g/f or b/f, husband, wife or whoever or are you in a committed relationship, you make sure you tell the dumb ass to be more specific about the particular commitment they are talking about because unfortunately there has been a technicality in the word's definition as a whole. I don't know but I'm gonna commit to this blog and leave you guys with pondering minds today like mine. So until next time bloggers.... I'm committed, so I'm sure I'll be back ;)

R.E.H.A.B. me

Women!!! We are THEE most fascinating, beautiful, captivating, enthralling, mesmerizing, enchanting... most paramount, Grade A creations that has ever been made. It pains me to see how we cut ourselves so short of prominence when the truth is real power remains within us.We are by far the strongest creatures to walk this Earth without a doubt in my mind.

As I began my blogging, after deleting Facebook, Twitter, Myspace, so on and so on... my mind started running wild with all of these ideas that I have absolutly no idea how to organize because my thinking process is rather strange (I will admit). Writing about my life situations and analyzing how the processes of them usually takes place, in my eyes, I started to recognize what we, as women, go through and how we come out of them. The type of person we become afterwards... winning, losing, resurrecting from what seems to be insurmountable problems and yet we still stand. We still breathe life... into ourselves and into others. It's GREAT!!! isn't it? And thus, we end up here, what I have been calling Rehab, how we "treat" our own selves, how we end up winning everytime, the process of making it through these pains and burdens. Reorganizing Essential Habits And Becoming "me"... the person that you really are, recognizing our true value and what we are really worth (of course, after the fact). It takes some of us longer than others to really grasp hold but it's ok. Don't all rehab patients undergo different treatments for different habits and most of the time, some take waay longer than others to be cured if there is even a cure.

"Life is what you make it." It sounds so simple but it's so deep and it took me a long time to realize how powerful this quote is. Life can turn into a highly infectious disease that is contagious. What you go through and the effect it has on your attitude and your day to day living can actually rub off on the people around you: friends, family, and kids, even strangers. Your circle becomes small and for now you are feeling like everyone turned their back on you. But it's not them, it's you!!! You can be so overwhelmed with how you are going to just make it through the day, that you forget about the minor things that helps us live. We should always find something to do that can put the slightest smile on our face. Trust me, "slightly" helps far more than you think, just a little can really get you a long way. We all want the extravagant for our kids as well as ourselves, and most of the time, the finding of the small pieces always leads to something magnificent and of great magnitudes. But sometimes, it can be really hard to see the glitter through the fog and really recognize the blessing you have just received. It's so easy to throw advice to people but when those rough times hit, just a pinch of a blessing is all that is really needed. I've had my days when I didn't know how I would feed my kids or myself, no babysitter so that I could work, no ride so that I could get to work, how was I going to afford clothes and shoes for them when I could barely keep my head above water, little puney $500.00 checks that is suppose to take care of me, my 2 and pay bills.... who the hell signs up for this shit?! Then I sit down and I have to process how I got here, what I do have, the outline of how to get out of this hole even if it means doing the things that I told myself I would never resort to... either way, it always ends up at a dead end. No hope! Helping hand? Family? Friends? where is everyone? But it's not their job. It's mine! A lot of people get this confused like it's the next person's job to help you. Everyone has their own life to live and so do you. I come to this realization and then my anxiety kicks in and I have to sit back and wu-saaa, pray, and pace myself. This is my rehab. Come to find out.. I am a friggin miracle worker with the grace of My God because I haven't failed yet and don't intend to.

So through this rehab, up until now, I never paid attention to how I was really making it through these situations. Still moving and just thinking, I lucked up with this one. I already have a habit of over analyzing situations but some good came out of this one and I came up with the idea of committing to being that pinch of the blessing. I am a real person. I go through things too. If you could open me up, you would be surprised of the story that you would find on these pages and I'm not famous. I'm a woman  and I want to help. Feeling like you are in the bottomless pits of doom can lead you to killing yourself, committing suicide. Not literally and I will explain... the happy things you once use to do is no longer, you put yourself in this dark place and everything that is thought of or even spoke of is negative. You have already taken your place to burn for eternity in Hell. You have given up. You can't see what's in front of you and you don't care too much about it anyway. You commit suicide and you are still here just taking up space, life has became just another job to you. Of course, this can't be good for the kids! Now it's homicide!! because YOU are killing them. You can't project good motherly qualities other than the basics of feeding them and keeping them clothed. You are not in the mood for anything and you find  every excuse in the book to not do what they ask of you. "Come on mommy, let's go to the park!" Easily irritated and non-stop attitudes. Not healthy. Not for you or the babies. Putting yourself in these moods can make you sick (literally) you become depressed, no motivation, sleep is your #1 hobby and fresh air only makes you puke. This state? I have been here, and more than once.

I'm no expert at anything and I don't pretend to be so if it seems like everything is peaches and cream whenever you see me, it's because I have taught myself to control my spitballs of fire. Everyone in this whole entire world has gone through something. No one's life is perfect. Whether you have been completely homeless, your fridge has been completely emptied, or you just can't decide on how you are going to organize your schedule for going back to school... anything!.. and you can't categorize how minor a situation is opposed to the next person or yours because you never know what this particular person has going on in their lives at that time, what they have already gone through and how tramatic it is for them because your opinion doesn't count when it's not you, even if they do ask for it. Everyone handles they're situations differently and because it's not the way that you would handle things, no one cares because it's them, not you. As a friend, I offer empathy, try to relate, put myself in these shoes, I don't pass judgement and Lord only know's that if I could lend more of a helping hand then just my $0.02, I really would.

So this is the beginning of my outline. My project to become someone that I never imagined I could be. Project R.E.H.A.B. me is on the way.

To be continued.....

Virgin

It's not everyday you get a whiff of pure essence from a noted man
The sense of innocence, undefiled flesh
Inquisitive to the fruitful femininity of divine womanhood
Given a gift short of reverence
Such an aromatic tellurian of pure elegance
Devoted to a life of robust occupation and never questioned my presence
Live with me for the next minute or two
Aspiration possesses my soul and dominated my temple to give into your attractiveness
I want you, I lust for you
Penetrate, deeply, my abyss with your potent flesh
Innovate me, repress my love
Digress from all of mankind
Let's melt into one another and mix ingredients of passion and turmoil...
Feelings of trepidation and sentiment
All emotions from which love derives
I want to be your beginning
I want to guide you down the righteous path of burning passion and desire
Fulfilled fantasies of impetuous intimacy
Live as if it were our last days
Flee to never return
Forgive me for begin illiberal, but I wish not to pollute the most immaculate existence that exists...
But copulation has taken place
And it was I who manufactured this boy into a man
Helped liberate philosophies of what true love could be... should be... can be... and will be.

Woman in the streets, Freak in the sheets

Usually, I have heard, my first impression comes off as the stuck up snooty bitch. I like it! I'm a people person, however I do not like to be approached in any type of manner. So new faces tends to keep their distance until I open my mouth and spread my charm :) No one would have ever thought that back in the day, I use to be the same chick that we all scorn like the same woman who wore the "Scarlett Letter" on her chest in front of the whole town. No! not adultery but I did receive every bit of my 15 minutes of fame every time I came out on stage to show how sexual I could be and to create the illusion of what it is that the man really wants without the "lights, camera, action" bid. The diversion of being a conservative woman was never hard. I was never into the itty bitty mini skirts or the mid-drift shirts that revealed that tiny hole that was less than a mile away from the real entrance that could take any man to a blissful state. Where I obtained the confidence in my sexuality? Who knows... but I liked it, every bit of it. And the fact that it was suppose to be  this big secret was even better.

If we read up on the history of how women came so far: not being able to wear pants, can't show your ankles, can't show your face, no dresses above your knees? Back then... I commend the women who took charge of themselves and became liberated for the new generations ahead to also become liberated. Yes, in some cases it has been blown way outta proportion and I am definitely not here to pass judgement on whoever. However your boat stays a float is all fine and dandy but in this piece, I'm going to tell you how mine stays a float...

I am a commited, loyal type person, that is, if you can get pass the stuck up part LOL! High school was cool for boyfriend/girlfriend experimentations and whatnots. My college days, the world of relationships somehow disappeared out of my universe and I was moreso on finding myself.  Let me explain, the newness of meeting "just a friends" or "friends with benefits" started to become exciting. Met a few that I liked and a lot that I didn't but I loved the experience that I gained from my wide open-ness. In order for me or us to even get to that point, you had to have big enough balls to even speak to me in the first place. This all became a game while in the meantime, outside of the bedroom, you would think that I was very focused and commited to my school work or my job or whatever was going on in my life, in which I was and still am.  This goes for then and now. You get older and you still get to a point where you realize that you have nothing to lose anyway but to gain another noodle on your brain so the things that you was afraid to try then are the very things that you are actually doing now.

Love-making, sex, fuck, intercourse, mate, doing it... a whole line of different ways to describe 1 thing. It comes with different positions, different locations, different protection, different faces, and the the list grows among us. I don't believe in hoes, I believe in sexually liberated human beings that freely approach their addictions with full force and no shame. LOL! I love attention, but I only love the attention coming from the one person that I should be focused on at that given moment. Yes I cook and clean, take care of my babies, pay my bills, all of that grown up stuff. But my extracurricular activities come to play once all is said and done in the real world and then it's time to bring my fantasy world to reality. Let's do it like Pinky and Mr. Marcus one night, or let's try this new toy I seen on this infomercial the other night. Let me digress back to my stripper days and pull out my stillettos and my garter belt, turn the bass up on the equalizer, pump the volume and let go! Or how about we role play, "I'll see you at the grocery store on aisle 3" ;). Come sneak a peak at the park, go lay a blanket in the path of those tall weeds on the beach, maybe even light some candles and try and play out those grand love scenes that we see in the movies. Why keep your choices limited when you have so many to choose from?

The "power of the pussy" (thanks to Jessica Holter) could take over this world. The needs, wants, fantasies of all humans could be an endless mind rush. But I, in my notes, like to think that I have succeeded at fulfilling all desires that "My Man" has ever hoped for. I put that in quotation because back in the day, what I perceived to be a fuck was just that and no extras were added, however, my relationships consisted of the double living standard. They look like ordinary people, they have kids, they work... but I can put on my makeup, look in the mirror and won't even recognize myself. Damn! that bitch is bad! I create the illusions, mastered the tricks and techniques, threw out the old missionary and brought in the new anal, conjured up the courage to try the unthinkable. Sex with myself, sex with my man, sex with my man and ... ahh-hah! you would like to know, wouldn't you?

Create the illusion and master it. Dream the dream and concure it. You could actually use this in any life situation but an overload of wants and things that you try to avoid needing can be overwhelming and leave you in a state of  "shudawudacuda". For some odd reason, it was the parents job to make this "fun" seem like the most devastating thing that you could endure. Now you tell me, when you are in the heat of the moment, what could possibly be devastating unless you poot in your partners face by accident while you are receiving (and I'll use the correct terminology, lol) cunnilingus. LMAO!!! My kids are too young to come with the "real deal" questions but I pray that I can come up with some real explanations that aren't so blunt that make sense at the same time. And I know what type of person I am, so I definitely do not want to scare them. lol... I like the fact that I can portray an image like the "Leave it to Beaver" family. Family outings, grocery shopping, all while in the back of my mind I'm trying to figure out if I'm gonna wear the stringy thongs or the regular ones and to make sure I stop by Bath & Body works to pick up some of that Blackberry Amber lotion and body spray. Who would have thunk it?! But I'm sure that we all would be surprised by what happens behind closed doors even by the holiest of people. 

For 2 people to be able to come together and create such a huge ass tornado of sweat, friction and emotions is like magic to me. So I take pride in my love potions and give off the scent of what a real woman should smell like. If the man is what you are worried about? then you need to understand that it's really not that hard to please one. Unfortunately they want someone like their momma during the day and someone like Janet Jack-Me at night. If you were raised in a household full of women, like me, then it shouldn't be hard to present yourself as a woman and to give off that mother role. However LADIES!! It is up to us to get in the know on how to become a free spirit and not be so uptight about the things that make us feel good as well as the man that we say we want to keep. If it's not comfortable to you, then don't do it but we all know what the first time in anything is like. If it swirls like a merry go round in the back of your head non-stop, I say go for it. My aunt told me "if you think long, you think wrong" lol. Just go for it. This is how my boat stays a float and always have.

Alrite freak'ums... until the next time...