I did a post at the beginning of the year, When Grind Mode Sets In, where I go over my blueprint for 2012. I have to admit, I am very proud of myself, although, a few of those things were replaced with some new ventures. Some may become a little disappointed in themselves when their orginal mind set, didn't turn out as planned. Well not me. I vowed to prosper within a new attitude and mindframe towards life, and that's exactly what I am doing. I'm claiming my destiny. So let's reflect on me and then we can reflect on you. And we'll begin with this quote that I found in my spam, this morning. Talk about the irony...
"Using the power of decision gives you the capacity to get past any excuse to change any and every part of your life in an instant." ~ Tony Robbins
Aaaahhhh, how refreshing is that? People tend to focus on how much they couldn't get done in a day, month or even a year's time. Everyone is so impatient that no one takes the time to focus on how much they actually did get done as opposed to what may have seemed like failure. I'm an inch away from certification and I'm getting my mind set on registration, this summer, for the start of the fall school year in hopes to major in English and take up some Psych classes on the side. That's so that my self-appointed Psyche degree can become official, lol. I've X'd out the other deals, but no harm done. It's just not the right timing. That's the "power of decision". I'm falling into new decisions to be made which are leading me into new, future developments. I began house hunting and found out yesterday, that I am just a few milestones away from my destination. How blessed am I!!! God is awesome!! My writing for this blog is coming to life. Not only am I learning myself in this process, which could possibly be boring; but I'm coming into contact with great people, which is the fun part. People are vibing off of my lessons just as I am vibing off of their's. I swear... umm umph... the power of words. My bills are paid, and on time!! And it seems like the gas prices have dropped just a tinge LOL!! Just saying. Where there is faith, I see my prosperity in even the smallest of things.
Now, let's be realistic here. My life is not grand. I could write on any sheet of paper or type on any screen (easy) things that which I have done and prevailed in. But please believe, bitter never fails to trail along side of the sweet. How you swallow it is what takes the cake. I can own up to my flaws. Should I (or you) be ashamed of flaws? Hell no!! Works in progress, we all are!! And you keep it moving. I have become addicted to future planning. Something that I have never done in all of my life. It could be a good thing, but it also wears on your stress level. I stress over the things I would like to have for my children as opposed to myself. My reasons for owning a house is not to gain status, but something for my children to call their own and to feel comfortable in. I feel horrible for having to limit them to certain things that are beneficial to their growth and childhood because mommy had to downsize. If you think stress will exhaust you, try hiding it. I'm not exhausted from being stressed, I'm exhausted from trying to "seem" like everything is ok. In which it is (sounds contradictory, doesn't it?), but my mind will always linger to how much better it could be. So, I'm mentally exhausted. That's only human. I'm exhausted from being secretly exhausted, lol. I work and in the process of me working, I'm doing outside work dealing with those life plans and in the process of me working on those plans, my emotions fluctuate. Now I'm overwhelmed with excitement of what I know that I can/on my way to accomplishing verses the lost of confidence because the road seems so long and it's just me. I go home and I don't have enough energy to spare for my babies; continuously adding things here and disintegrating things there in my mind in hopes that, by this time next year, I can waddle in the comfortability that I strive to sustain (just a little, because "grind mode" will always be sot on GO) And, also, to restore enough energy to, at least, sit on OUR porch while I watch them play in OUR yard. *snap* Then I'm back.
Overall, I'm happy with the process. Baby steps. And when it gets to the point where life gets to be too much and you don't realize what you have complete, just sit back and think about what you have been doing to get there. I thought about this. I have to do this to get this, and I need this so that I can get that. I'm on my third "this" in that lineup (lol) and I think it's safe to say that I'm feeling myself right now. If you set your sights on the prize and not the hurdles that you have to jump to get to it, then the run there will seem like a walk in the park. On that note, there is still much work to be done.
Last but not least, this is my go-to sanctuary and even if the stats showed 0 on a daily basis, I still have the option to write, and that helps. But it's 20 times better to know that my reader's exist, even if you guys are shy ;)
Until next time bloggers....
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