Where the line should be drawn: Friends vs. S/O

Straight to the point... let's dissect the situation. I love that word! When trying to compare these 2 positions, you can't really say who should be the most important team player. In my opinion, if you have gotten to a point with the S/O where everything between both lives are beginning to coincide, then I think it would be safe to start weighing your boundaries and options, in life. Things you use to do, people you see, the money you spend, everything. The option of whether or not you trust your friend before your S/O or vice versa. Whose say so counts the most? Or whose going to play the most important part in your decision making process when different life situations arise? Everyone serves a purpose, of course. But who would or should you choose first? And not that it matters who you would go to first BUT whose advice would be of more reverance, should I say?

Each person has played a significant amount of time span in the "middleman's" life. I'm quite sure that the friend has been around longer. But everyone is going to feel that they are important or probably more important than the next. So where do we draw the line? Because, in dealing with 2 or more people who are prying for your attention, this can be a rather testy situation and could possibly end on both counts of each opposing team. Not that they both weren't very healthy and fulfilling relationsips, but most people (in reality) loves to have their cake and eat it too. No one likes to choose. Especially when we are dealing with people who are near and dear to us without so much as a bloodline to connect the 2. And this is where I feel an even amount of boundary should be set for yourself and in between.

My Opinion on Friendships: Sure enough, our friends are very important people in our lives. Speaking on a true friend, this is the person that is usually around to help you stand when you can't stand anymore. That person is there to smile for you during your time of suffering and pain, to speak for you when you can't get your thoughts together, and to laugh for you when you are fed up to the point of no control. This person is your walking diary. You have shared your deepest, darkest secrets (maybe) with them. They have been there for every event and occasion arranged and you people together are like the sisters/brothers that you have never had. It's a beautiful thing!

My Opinion on Relationships: Relationships come and go. We all know that no one is promised to you with or without paperwork or a ceremony. We all know that, in this generation, most people have lost the value of marriage and the real union that it represents. We also find that a lot of people in relationships don't consider their partners to be their best friends. Hmmmm... strange. We are absolutely sure of our friends and the purpose they serve but do we know why we want to be in a relationship with this person other than "they have good sex" or "they make me laugh" or "they're a good person"? Assuming we are on a much deeper level, relationship is great! Thoughts are shared, dreams are shared, love is shared, everyone is on the same page. It's a beautiful thing!

NOW: There comes a time in everyone's life where decisions have to be made. Things can become fuzzy, confusing and we look outside of ourselves for help. Certain opinions given by certain people really do count in certain situations. Life wasn't made to be simple. Everything takes much needed thought and processing. But, in all, most things aren't as complicated as they may seem. If you choose to spend your life with someone, boundaries have to be set for friends. Boundaries have to be set for yourself! What is created in the bond between you and your S/O should not be contaminated with the debris of outside affiliates. That does not mean that friends should be shunned. It only means that you are growing up and it's high time to make decisions without the extras who will never be effected by your life decisions. When dealing with situations such as this, S/O comes out on top.

BUT: Now that we are making life decisions and excepting the important factors that play a significant role, that does not mean the ball is in S/O's court. There must be a balance. An equal amount of progress within the 2 bonds. S/O has to understand that their may be some things outside of the relationship that has absolutely nothing to do with them or they may not understand whatever it is that their partner may be going through. So who do you call? You call on your friend. Now I feel strongly about the fact that your spouse should be your best friend and I've always longed for a friendhip with my future spouse. BUT, this isn't about me and under totally different circumstances. Maybe we haven't reached that point yet. SO, our friends still serve the purpose that they have always served. No position lost here and your friends still whole down the fort.

AND IN THE END: "Middleman" needs to handle each situation with a significant amount of care and responsibility. It is not and never has been a situation that should be ignored. Everything does not fall into place on it's own. Everything won't work out just because you hoped that it would. If you ignore it, it will not go away. Reassurance is needed at all ends of each stick. If "middleman" can't juggle the 2, then it's simple... you only need one. In cases like this, yes someone's feelings are bound to be hurt but they will be hurt even more while you are stuck in the middle of a battle between 2 people who are near and dear. I'll also assume that you wouldn't want to lose either of the 2. Take note and honor the fact that your partner needs you in specific areas while also honoring the fact that your friends should and are capable of understanding what your title witholds. Honor the fact that your friends need you there for them too, and learn how to balance. Indeed everyone has a life outside of a life. Everything needs to mesh because if it doesn't, it turns into shit.

Until next time bloggers...