Up 4 Discussion Presents...

What would Adam Lanza’s “real” Mother Say?

Join me on Up 4 Discussion as I voice my opinion on a touchy topic concerning parenthood as well as the considerable amounts of judgement blows that are being thrown at women (2 in particular) for their efforts (or lack of) to take care of a child with mental illness.



After all is said and done, let me know what you think about these situations and how the woman mentioned describes her son? How do you think Adam Lanza’s real mother would have described his childhood?

Until next time bloggers...

What would Adam Lanza’s “real” Mother Say?

So Cliche', But Christmas Is Here

Christmas is here and I'm feeling pretty damn good about myself. I've put in my part for charity, I actually got everyone in my family and "pending's" family a gift this year and I still have gas money left over for the rest of this week, LMAO!! My Scrooge mentality subsided once I realized I would be able to complete everything that I wanted to get done in this month. I also realized that broke people are the only ones always yelling, "money isn't everything" but the truth is it damn sure gets the job done when you do have it. The thing about that, too, is Scrooge had money. That bitch was just selfish, which I am not. I was only frustrated because all I wanted was to just be in a position where I would be able to give. And although everyone didn't receive extravagent diamond bracelets or expensive perfumes, they were all gifts that a lot of thought was put into because it was shit that each person actually needed. LOL!! Get's no better than that, huh?

Once these next 2 days have passed, I'll began prepping for my daughter's birthday. She will be turning 4 and yes, it's 5 days after tomorrow. No expensive party. I think we are just going to get together at the bowling alley since she likes to bowl. I'll see if I can find an Angry Birds birthday cake somewhere (yes she is an angry bird fanatic), some ice cream and call it a day. This is the one child that is really not that hard to please. I pray she keeps her humbling spirit. In the process of planning for her, I'm rummaging through thoughts for my son's up and coming. I've been back and forth with about 2 or 3 things, not sure yet which one I will decide to go with. But I got about 2 months to think about it and get my shit together. I think I'm burned out on trying to throw birthday parties. And maybe that's because my apartment space doesn't allow me to. I'm sure once I find my house, I will be back at being the number 1 kid's birthday party planner, lol!

On to other news... the Devil tried to play me yesterday. I guess I have been smiling too much and glowing and shit because I've found some holiday spirit. It's actually a funny story, not so much but kind of. I was pulling out of my mother's drive way and turned my steering wheel, of course, to make a left on to the street. Well as I turned, I heard a pop up under my car. My thoughts? "What the hell did I just run over? What did that damn dog bring into my mom's yard now?" I kept going a little ways and looked in my rearview only to see that something was rolling in the street. Well, it wasn't my wheel obviously. But the little people in my brain told me to stop, back up and check out the scene. Out of respect for my conscience, I did so, inspected and was on some "WTF?!" type shit. Fast forward. I take a picture of it (as you can see in the picture above) and sent it to my mechanic who is also my mom's wonderful boyfriend, who immediately called me back and said, "what the hell are you doing with that and where did you get it?" I explained and he then told me that this was a frame bushing. In other words, for those who are unfamiliar with cars, it's a big ass bolt that keeps the frame of your car together. I could just picture me on the highway driving and my car coming a part, losing pieces here and there as I'm driving, until there is no car left. That's where things got unfunny. But I wasn't on the highway, hell I didn't even make it to the end of the road. I could have, but my little people were talking pretty loud. I'm glad I listened. I had my son, my daughter and my neice with me. It could have been devastating. As I get out the car and showed my mom the part, she goes, "that's what you call driving 'til the wheels fall off" LMAO!! Well guess what Devil, I'm still smiling... and driving. It's Christmas!!

Until next time bloggers...

Have a wonderful, awesomely joyfilled Merry Christmas along with a safe and Happy New Year! Try something adventurous and orgasm at the strike of 12, LOL!! What a way to start a new year! Kisses!

Up 4 Discussion Presents...

The 3 C’s That Lead WOMEN to Double Back for SEX with Their Ex

Here's a good one for you! I like touching the untouchables. Those topics that people tend to avoid because of a fear that people will look at you like you have completely lost your mind. Ha Ha!! Everybody's doing it... say it ain't so.

Here on Up 4 Discussion, I give a few reasons as to how and why backtracking can be of great benefits. Why should you have to make life so complicated when sometimes what you need is right there in front of your face? Maybe this post will subside some of the "prude" flowing through your veins.

Enjoy my dear bloggers. Until next time...

The 3 C’s That Lead WOMEN to Double Back for SEX with Their Ex

Social Media And Your Relationship

My "girl's night out" usually consists of my homies and I chit-chatting during club hours, taking a bottle to the head, and whatever preference of smoke we would like to fill the air with, lol (I'm a cigar woman with the original additives, not the extra, just so you know) Anywho, we began to backtrack on relationship endeavors, past and present. Going over scenarios, how we handled them, and speculating the "what-ifs". There is always a few minutes of "man-bashing" time, but not so much anymore... I guess it comes with age. Within all of the girl chitter-chatter that night, it got me to thinking which lead me posting a question on Twitter, "Do you feel your significant other should acknowledge you on their FB page or any social site for that matter?" Because I found that in most of these situations, social media had a lot to do with everything that was being effected and NOT being effected. Ask me why? *shrugs* Although a little confused because I never thought much about how SM effected any relationship of mine, I did open my eyes to a response from the lovely and awesome writer, Petersburgh who blatantly gave it to me straight stating that, it's still a massive problem in both cases. Had a blonde moment and didn't quite catch on... but believe me, I am no blonde. So it didn't take long before I realized the point. Everyone feels some type of way about SM, so whether or not you are up there blasting every tit for tat bid that you and your boo did, you're damned if you shout it to the world (TMI) and you are damned if you don't (NEI, not enough info).

Now, when I did attend "FB meetings", I never counted on SM to portray some type of awesome image of what my life was like. I posted pictures of myself and those whom were near and dear to me. I believe that people read differently (of course) and normally for the most part, they take the picture posting as proving a point. MY point was these are the people I love. Didn't know I had to prove it. I wasn't trying to gain any cool points or show off the fact I felt that I had bragging rights. It's the internet! And most shit on the internet is always fun in addition to my long-distance friends and my family in DC who loved looking at pics of the kids and just swore up and down "pending" was the sexiest thing walking. LOL!! Which meant they liked looking at him, too. 2 years of FB and I got tired. I found that random people like to use this as a means to compare before's and after's. So if we disclude the fam portion of things and check in with the remaining audience, we have a green-eyed monster pool. We'll just call them slime.

I could say that "girl talk" is an easy influence. But we can't just single "girl talk" out. Honestly, any group conversation being had by a group of common-sense-having-individuals has some type of influence on the way you use to think, think now, or will think in the future. I'm not on FB, so I decided to go back and ask "pending" if he had any pictures of me on his FB page. He answered that he did. I wouldn't know. My snooping days after getting over my FB addiction subsided years ago. Of course he wanted to know where this random ass question came from. It really did just come out of nowhere. I didn't try to make this out to be one of those political discussions which I do (randomly) quite often with him. He then, in turn, asked me do I have pics of him on my blog. Somehow I tried to justify the non-posting, but I didn't see the difference in the 2. Even though I just simply asked to see what the answer would be, I'm not sure my appetite was fulfilled. I then thought to myself, "what does that mean?" Had he said no (just as I did), would I have felt some type of way? And even with him saying yes, what type of point am I trying to prove if any? I lost clear view for a second and came up with nothing. A bunch of pictures on a FB or a MySpace or a Twitter or a BlackPlanet (lol, yeah I took it back) or even a Blog doesn't PROVE anything. I was going to try to turn around and make this a justification as to how he loved me and things of that nature. LOL!! Pure bitch shit! But I couldn't do that either. If it ain't broke, don't try to fix it.

All in all, to sum things up, if you don't hold SM accountable for justifying your ways of living, then why stress it to the next person? I have witnessed where someone is continuously posting what they are doing every single second of the day with a picture along side of it. Is this what we call being productive? And exactly how productive are you if you have time to proclaim your self-worth? Seems like self-esteem issues to me. My home is just that, MY home. And Petersburgh was right, "I don't care for those things. My life doesn't have to be in social media. Y state I am taken. Who suppose to know knows" And without all the excessive picture uploading of how "pending" and I got caught on camera kissing the other night, or how the kids were everso angelicly playing and getting along at the park the other day, life is pretty damn good. SM doesn't build your relationship or your living standards. These things start right where you stand.


I had to do it! 1 for the team. Meet "Pending"

Until next time bloggers....

The Battle Continues...

What she really had to say...

Narrarator (her): The technicalities within the wiring
computed the notions stating, "til death do us part"

So within those limitations
I withstood grounds to make a life that kept us stationed at the heart
Or so I thought,

Outlets lead to inlets and things grow apart
But my stationary declares Mr. and Mrs., so what team were you to start?

Manifested destinies for settling in it's bliss
Congratulated kisses and lists of fam and friends to assist

Well, then the road thereafter...
approached a minor fender bender
Where your laughter mattered, my stacks had shattered
because the road you sot after led nowhere near a timeshare

Where this 2-way street merged in at the median,
you blitzed left and commence to focus on your own dreams again

Her: I thought this was a together-thing
let's do it for the team
or maybe this was just your thing, thinking I had my own thing...
and like ol'timers, "just bring what you can bring"

Him: I'll take what you got
cause it'll fit good in this slot
Sorry bae... not this go round... all positions have been filled
There's no room... you know how the boys are... maybe some other time... just chill...
Her: So my asking, requesting, begging and pleading deems me as needy
How womanly of me to want my family to proceed in the trendy
How dare I downgrade your 1 track mindful ways of thinking,
I'm just here for the ride, your trophy, batting eyelashes and winking

I'm a little confused as to how you planned for us to progress
'cause when you rest, I'm stressed and suiting up for the next quest
Is this an over-reaction or selfishness at it's best

I expect every miniscule detail that I have request
I deserve every gargantuan thought I project

Lingering behind scenes, dodging limelights that gleam
Am I really here or is my visual really not what it seems
cause in my peripheral, I see outsiders being let in
and my rearview show flashes of me bringing things to an end

I've been listed in every man's corner as the significant wifey type
laundry and cleaning along with the revealing as being some vixen's prototype,
common sense of great value, skills to listen and shed knowledge on your trife
uplifting with my insights and yet, my words still take flight

100 proof to your 8 percent taste testing
prepping kids for school and cooking while simultaneously sex-texting
Your ooh to your aahhs and still I'm collecting sublime messaging
Still a little confused as to where's my place setting

Narrarator (her): My I's had turned to We's
and while you're at it, add the additional "us" to the trust
and the "you" and "me's" without "them" felt like more than just pure lust

"I don't" turned to "I do's", you won't? ok... "I will's"
these things aren't done for just a bunch of cheap thrills

Her: I completed the list of shit you needed...
Narrarator (her): and to no avail, WE proceeded...
but without the necessary to be completed
dilapidated businesses and marketing depletion

Her: But somehow my love won't let me leave you...

it's becoming a little frustrating lingering here on 2nd base
impatience is setting in, so just state your case

maybe this is a joke, go ahead and place your bet
3 strikes and no homerun yet
no field goal or 3 point shot right up to the last sec

Forgive me if I'm wrong , but I thought we strived for the same trek
pulled off interns, collaborated studies and came up with the same specs
aced in honors chemistry from the first day that we met

I'm carrying loads your friends never knew exist
I'm a little taken back, maybe even a little pissed
never knew I had to wait in line, or keep my guards up in defense
this whole scenario is becoming a little whimsical and of false pretense

because where I believed this foundation held faith to be true...
in other settings, I'm finding I can't count on you
is this a double life, or do you really have no clue
I understand it takes time to seperate the two

does your growing up and adulthood consist of moving forward with them
'cause I can easily consolidate in my own creme de la creme
there should be no weapons form against the root to your stem
while I still make ways to concur sparkle to your gems

Narrarator (her): should we take a break, or continue making way for a chance
I admit it's a little redundant to be battling bromance

Trials Of A Mother: Mom vs. Dad

"There's a difference between under-rated and haven't made it" -Meek Mills

Once you have children, you find out that they hold so much weight over you. I live a life in "the quiet". I'm hardened. And unless you could actually exchange souls with me, you would never know the exact feelings that which I have learned to professionally keep in the calming abyss of my brain. Life is a struggle without the whining and bitching of someone else who has walked this Earth just as long as you have. But when you are stuck in the middle (somewhere) who is there to tell you which way to go? I would rather bypass advice from those who really can't understand what it's like to be in my shoes. Opinionated people can sometimes give off good talk game, but does that really help to solve your problem? I could only think of one person that could possibly be my cure-all, so I called out to my Grandmother (Lord rest her soul, 12 years and you would think the grieving process would have subsided by now) last night and she wasn't there to answer me back. At that moment of no response, I realized what makes me the weakest link... my kids. My hard rock turned to soft and the water flowed faster than the rivers. I was hurt. And I had no one to console me the way that I know only she could have done.

A Little Background Info
From the outside looking in... a quick explanation of how my son's father and I share him, you would think, "oh that's awesome!", "that's great that he does dot-dot-dot". But to be honest, I never cared for the extra help. Or maybe, it's that I never cared for him period. So I would rather have done without his presence from then until now. I believe this is the cycle of where I pay for my sins. Never in a million years did I believe that I would be able to birth my own kryptonite. I have to learn to become immune to the glow and sustain a state of submissivness for the sake of my child. I've found this man to be a vicious blood sucker which I knew from jumpstreet, AFTER my son was born (everyone else found out years later). Needless to say, I found out I was pregnant 2 months after completely ridding him of my life. I should have left it that way. I had never met a snake in person until I met him. But the moral of all of this begins with the quote that I stated above...

The Moral
Children hold strong to things that interest them. Memories that settle in and stick, even if it is for a split second. They believe that this is how life is suppose to be every single second there after. I agree. And if that was in any way, shape, form or fashionably possible, I would most definitely love to keep the line of tremendous pops of fireworks going every single day. Instead, a working mother loses sight of even being alive. You are only here to make things comfortable and enjoyable for your children, instill in them the mechanics of life and hope they take heed and prosper into the star you would like for them to be. In other words, you hustle your ass off every single day and hope that your kids don't show resentment towards your grind once they get older. They are too young to understand. This is what portrays an image of "difference" between whose head of household. Those who have time and those who don't. What they believe is good for them and what they don't. BUT if they don't know any difference between the two, then all they would know is what they were born into, you would think. I admit my work load can get the best of me. Maybe that is why when special events, birthdays or whatnot come around, I tend to overtly stress because I want it to be pure perfection. I have to choose the perfect gift. Things have to be perfectly in sync with whatever it is my son or daughter asks for. I've concocted miracles out of my ass, ears, nostrils... basically every hole in my body, and yet I remain the under-rated of the 2 parenting species. I'm judged for not buying a toy at the drop of a dime. I'm judged for letting a practice slip my mind. I'm judged for working. Judged for cooking, for parenting, disciplining, for paying bills...

Going In
I believe that if I had a source for freeloading that would take care of me and pay my bills, I could put in the excess time and effort to completely consume my life with my children and still have plenty time left over to piss off the other parent too. I can honestly say that I can teach my son how to be more of a man than his sperm donor with also stating the fact that I think I would feel some type of way (like not setting a good example) if I still lived with my mother and fed him off of her income. That's like saying it's ok to do this; you don't need a job or an education, you can live with me forever. I wonder what it would be like if the tables were to turn? The day that this freeloader would have to get a job and actually fend for himself. I wonder if my son's feelings for this person he deems as a Super Hero (technically for not having a life) would remain the same?

This is like one of those "Lifetime" movies. I never believed my life would play out where it's Mom vs. Dumb Ass. You hear stories of parents and their bribing kids with toys and gifts. But for some odd reason, I never thought that would be considered a legitimate practice. At least not on my playing field. The Devil is playing hardball. Situations such as this leave you in positions feeling as though your faith and humbling to the cause is not enough. I'm completely blown. And after you have done so much (you think) you're left drawn into a fetal position because there is nothing else that you can do. Your child already has everything coming from both ends (his ass and my heart). Nowadays, kids are blessed with everything they could imagine. And the parents are breaking their necks to make impossibilities somewhat possible, if not completely. I didn't have it like that growing up. And beginning from the time that I was able to make my own money, I have worked for every single thing that I have as well as my children. It's like I'm constantly trying to prove myself when really I know that I don't have to. This is not a competition. So why make it out to seem like it is one? At damn near 40, one should realize when it's time to stop being a bitch. Someone could easily think that science has naturally fucked up it's corse and made a ni66a bleed on a monthly basis. I don't need the extras of dealing with 2 periods in a month. I just want to look forward to lesser drama from the man-bitch and more gain of understanding with my son.

Until next time bloggers...

No Days Off

Soooo, yesterday I was going to shoot ya'll some hidden histories about Thanksgiving and even though I already know the story, I didn't feel like researching extra information #lazy Then I thought about saying some shit like, "Happy Thanksgiving" and put up a pretty picture of a turkey or something, but I didn't feel like doing that either. It just wasn't Sense So Common's style. All of this contemplating led me straight up to not writing a damn thing. I'm midway in to my 2nd year of writing on this blog and if you have been with me from the beginning of time, you would know that I'm not much of a "holiday spirit" so to speak. So I'm here (at work) on Black Friday (LMAO!!!.... yes I have to laugh about the crazies who spent the night in store parking lots last night) telling you guys about what happened to me yesterday and why my "holiday spirit" tends to roam.

I never make plans to cook because I'm always working. The question for the week when passing by strangers as you're walking through the stores or on the street is, "what you cooking for Turkey Day", "gotta a lot of goodies on your menu for Thursday?" I would like to look at them and tell them to "quit being so damn nosey", "even if I was cooking, it ain't like you eating any of the shit". OK, so I'm a little bitchy when it comes to the holidays too, lol. So I guess if you are one of those jolly ol' people who just loves to spark convos with random strangers, you might want to think twice about your choice of words. Maybe we should just stick with "Happy Holidays" and call it a year.

I spent the first part of my Thanksgiving working until 3 p.m. My work schedule would be fine being as though, that's usually about the time my family eats anyway. We used to start at 1 in the afternoon, but people have jobs and shit BECAUSE not everyone gets the holidays off (like me). I probably would be in more of a better mood if the owners I work for weren't so fucking cheap and incorporated time and a half on my paycheck for ALL of the holidays that I work. But, whatever, that's the point of searching for another job. (ok I'm rambling) I had errands out the ass to run. Not to mention that my son was with me yesterday (at work), which is a bit of a headache. I know the reasons, first hand, why you shouldn't be aloud to take your kids to work, lol! Sometimes, it can be convenient, but it can also be a hemorrhoid on your ass. Anywho, he kept me good company (I guess) since I really didn't have shit to do at work, I just had to be there. I found out that fast food resturaunts aren't open on Thanksgiving (now how come I didn't know that, LOL) but Golden Corral is a place for all of the lazy ass, non-cooking people to go and eat. We did lunch take-out there, I wrapped up the rest of my work day, and we were out.

In the meantime of all this commotion of non-Thanksgiving-commotion, I hoped and prayed that no one would call me on this holiday to come get them out of jail. I felt pretty good about chillaxing for the rest of my day being as though I was slightly fatigued from drinking with my besties from the night before. After eating, my main goal was to pop me a Corona to subside the queezy in my stomach (I think it's an alcoholic remedy or something, you kill hangovers with more alcohol *shrugs* it works, lol) After making my stops, I reached the family's house a little after 4 which was still great timing. Everyone had already eaten and it was time to get loaded with more alcohol. It seems as though my family's new hobby is jello shots LLS!!! And yes!! This shit is funnnn-nnnnyyyy! I sit down to eat, I get full, taste-test about 2 or 3 of these shots and pop my Corona. As soon as my top tapped the counter top, my phone rings. I know when work is calling because random numbers don't just call my phone. I started not to answer but being as though I knew this was "money" ringing my phone, I broke down and clicked the talk button. Let's just say the next 3 hours after that was spent wasting time on retarded people who didn't have a pin number to their own debit card (or so they say) smh, Yes! Exactly! I know what you're thinking. lol!

Overall, I enjoyed the bits and pieces of blessings received. I actually got a chance to stop by everyone's house whom were near and dear to me (only 3) But I usually don't get a chance to make visitations as such. Even though I missed my money because I was dealing with some real retards, I know there will be plenty more criminals cutting a fool around these holidays. So I'm not worried. The joys of "no days off", huh?

Well here's to you fellow bloggers, until next time... Happy Holidays!